.....And May The Prancing Priest Be At Peace Sucking On Burning White Stars.....

Hi!

2007-02-02T00:38:00.000+08:00

I still love this place, but I'm temporarily moving permanent here.

Thank you.

Mubarak: Reasons Of Absence

2006-12-04T13:29:00.000+08:00

I have been neglecting this space for a long while now. Well, I have been neglecting a lOt of things lately.

So December's finally here. It's been a wonderful November. So where was I ever since the fated car crash? Allow me to regale...

(head over here for a semi-photoblog entry)

The moment I came home from Sg. Buloh, the only thought that ran in my head was, "could we pull this job?". Oh, for those who's just tuning in, Hafeez requested a song from us to be used in his short film entry for RTM's Anugerah Filem Pendek. He gave us the assignment way more than a month before the deadline but given my previous state (exams!) we were forced to put works on hold for a while longer. What made me ponder even more is that what we're asked to do is something the band isn't used to; "short, brooding and magical".

So the following day after my 'unscheduled' crash we had a practice session at my place. I somehow came up with a riff suitable for a piano rhythm section back in campus so that was pretty much the starting ground. And not forgetting the faux percussive riff I stumbled upon when playing around with Azhar's Triton somewhere during Ramadhan. Safe to say that we can basically picture the song from start to finish. Typically, I already have the song title in my head prior to practice. Simply, Mubarak. I was told that the short is about a defunct father - son relationship with the son having a monologue wondering what went wrong and how he wished that they're on speaking terms again. I read the script, tried consuming the whole theme but I guess what made the process easier is Hafeez himself. I've known him long enough to get the point he's trying to get across. I think.

Day 1 of Mubarak went pretty breezy. It took Azhar a little over 5 minutes to translate the whole tablature onto the keyboard. Yeah, the riff is that simple. We did discussed a while back about the gears we used. Like how the KAOSS Pad is becoming a monotonous staple to our sound, the limitations we imposed on the EMX and how the microKORG is clearly untouched. I personally was kinda bored with guitars so this soundtrack is a perfect test run for both EMX and microKORG, and a good window to throw the guitar away out of the picture.

We spent the day literally looking for the right beats to suit the mood. This is where Shah's EMX unleashed its wrath. Rummaging the many patterns it has to offer might take more than a year if it falls in uncapable hands. We settled for desert-ish whooshesh and cymbal chimings which we thought back then, was minimal enough. Ended the session with the customary drinks at Pelita.

Day 2 of Mubarak to me, was a disaster of sorts. Everything we tried back at my place just didn't gell. The patterns, the piano progression, everything. I even tried finding fillers with the microKORG but it came to no avail. The fact that we conducted the session in Azhar's room was even worse as everyone was sleepy and distracted by the PC. The session didn't last long. It was kinda frustrating.

Adib's been busy with his job at the design firm so he was left out from practice sessions. Day 3 of Mubarak saw us hitting the studio for the first time with hope that somehow his drumming will whip up something inspiring. But fate has it that a day before, Shah's home was struck by lightning and all his gears was electrocuted so yeah, we hit the wall pretty hard that night. We spent the studio time locking thedrums for the faux percussive part -another frustrating episode- and left with yet another dissapointment in our minds. We braced for the worst as the electrocution might cause the whole project to cease.

We took a brief break from the whole process. Some perspective outlook was needed. Day 4 of Mubarak started on a high note. Shah's rig was done in a day since the lightning only caused damage to the power supplies. But that alone costed him RM400. Ouch. But everyone was relieved nonetheless. As we were taking a breather from figuring out the song's arrangement, I accidently played something. Something sensible.

Spending the next half hour frantically figuring out chords for the progression proved to be an exciting series of events. Shah consequently came up with gorgeous ambient bleeps to replace the previous unimaginative patterns and I finally prevail with the microKORG after spending a couple of nights with it. We recorded the proposed arrangements of the song and ended the day thinking 'we might just make it'.

As I plugged my iPod to my room's mock up sound system, listening to the raw recording caused a wave of ecstasy to gush in my veins. The then potential song was by far, the most engaging piece of music we've ever conjured in the shortest amount of time.

Day 5 of Mubarak was our 2nd studio practice. We were the last patrons to use the space so we pretty much have all the time in the world. But that seemed too much as it only took us an hour to finish up the song. We switched off most of the lights in the studio so the atmosphere was kinda serene with flickering LEDs from our instruments guiding the night away. We were so uplifted that night that we even played a new rocky tune (tentatively titled Instant-Teriyaki Romance) to wrap up our session. Had a blast at Mango afterwards. My banana shake was surprisingly Slushee-ish. Yummy.

As the deadline for submisson was dawning upon us, we decided that the song's ready to be recorded. After a few phone calls, Meng's studio (officially known as StandingWave Productions) was the place to get it done since Mokh's filled to the brim with metal noiseniks. Another session at Azhar's was no more than just finalizing details. But it went pretty dready with the weather and all.

Then came Thursday.

We initially booked a 10:30 p.m slot but since Meng was somewhat late, and Lied's Adlin and Wan were still laying down drum tracks, we loafed at the lounge talking crap and making fun of Shah and his neverending quest for the perfect body. Bono decided to tag along since her band didn't record that night. Meng summoned us when the watch flashed 12:30 a.m.

Despite being awfully wasted (I had monstrous of chores that day) everyone was pretty up for it. I was told that Meng's the silent type who doesn't get in anybody's way and allow you to flow the way you wanted but that doesn't stop us from being slightly panicky around him. When we unpacked our gears, he suddenly stopped moving and said, "Are you guys endorsed by KORG or something? Did you guys robbed CK???" Haha. That very much broke the ice and we had a good laugh about it. But seriously, that's a flack we need to bear from our peers. They think we're KORG ambassadors. -_-"

Adib was in a rush since he had to session for ElmKids gig the next day so we had to make it quick without rushing it. The one-all approach suggested by Meng complimented the whole process greatly as it saved us a lot of time (and money). But that wasn't such a smooth sail. We were kinda lost with the proposed tempo that it took us almost 5 minutes to get back on track. Come recording time, Adib majestically took just one take and it was good for keeps. The rest of us took turns in fine tuning our respective parts. It felt like paying a visit to the local clinic. It was a "Next!" kinda feeling to it.

By the time we were done it was already 3 in the a.m. Took a final listen, asked Meng a few vital questions then me, Azhar and Bono headed for Pelita. The rest had a long day ahead so home they went.

Overall, it was the most intense recording session we ever went through albeit its briefness. But today, after listening to the final product, it is agreed collectively that it's the most satisfactory to date. We're seriously considering recording there again. Maybe for the upcoming EP.

Will the song make it for the soundtrack? I have my own opinions on that. But I do hope the short film make its way to its deserving spot.

Bang Bang Boom

2006-11-16T01:39:00.000+08:00

All done, and now I'm home.

I had a blast answering the paper. MAF310 (Management Accounting) was like riding a bike with triple tripod wheels. My leisure revision technique paid off handsomely I reckon. The last time I had the same feeling was way back in high school. Prinsip Akaun for SPM. Stuff of legends.

After lunch with Shaf, I pulled at Petronas to fill up the tank before heading to USJ. My head was full of exciting, relaxing thoughts back home. Like how I miss my bed for instance. Or how I enjoy watching cars passing from the window of my workspace to the wee hours of the morning. Gas filled, cap locked, latch slammed, and I was off. Well, driving was never a problem. It's second nature. Like breathing if it should be compared so. I find it nothing extraordinary having to drive back to USJ alone on a breezy afternoon. So I did my usual stretch, 100 - 140, sometimes exerting myself to 160, but it's all under great caution. Then it poured quite heavily. Slippery roads are managable when you're doing an average 120 on a tarmac. But on concrete?

I believe you guys are really familiar with Malaysian roads right? Ok, the famous potholes are a given fact but what I'm getting to is how easily 'bendy' it can be. Heavy vehicles running on it over a period leaves a great impact on the surface causing the road to be puddle-y overnight. Admiteddly I find it a joy at times since the 'pudd bends' give a rather exciting bumpy twist to your ride. As if you're on a rocky boat but without all the seasickness. But today, I got to know it's ugly side better than I thought I knew.

I collided with a big, old Mercedes 6-wheeler.

I wasn't speeding. I barely did a 100 when it happened. No, I wasn't sleepy either. No pressure from the traffic since Plus Highway's not that jamm packed. I just lost control of the Wira, all thanks to the pudd bends. I felt the warning signs a good 5 KM from the crash site so I was already prepared by then, slowed down (albeit being in the fast lane) and kept my focus. Then suddenly, the car swerved slowly to the left without notice before I realized it was too late when I tried turning right but to no avail.

YA ALLAH, YA ALLAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Those were my exact words when I was 2 inches away from the lorry's right rear. The last time I screamed that loud was when I was circumcised. Well not those exact words, but the intensity was uncanny.

You know in movies where there's a dead silence just before something crashes with something else or how suspenseful a quiet environment is before the shit hits the fan? I had that silence. Nah, my life wasn't flashing right in front of me. I just had that milisecond of dead, muted silence. And no, nothing was a blur. I still remember precisely the chain of events after making contact with the lorry's rear. I heard windows smashing, metals tearing and the Wira was somehow momentarily airborned before touching ground and skidded leftwards before halting. The car was in between both lanes, obstructing traffic, facing a hill on the opposite direction heading North. It took me just 3 seconds to gather myself and get out of the wreck. Oh yeah, it was somewhere in Lembah Beringin.

A posse of call mens came to my rescue. Their quick thinking saved a lot of time and the next thing I knew I was in Ulu Bernam's Police Station lodging my report. There I met the lorry driver and his son. The bear-like Indian man was all smiles with me. I mean, I know the only damaged his lorry sustained was a bent mudguard but he acted like we just came out from watching the latest Bollywood comedy flick. Ok. No pressing charges. Good. But I got a compound ticket for 'wreckless driving'. Nice.

I called the parents after my report. They we're already on their way to LCCT en route to Dungun. They're glad I'm ok and that they trust me to handle things accordingly but it was tiring convincing them that I'd manage myself a transport home. The call guys were kind enough to give me a lift all the way to Rawang so I could catch the Komuter. Then Adam called and said that I should drop off in Sg. Buloh since he's there and heading home as well.

So what's the connection with the pudd bends you ask? See, when the pudds are filled with rain, passing through it will create somesort of an aquabed that separates your wheels and the road for a certain stretch. When things go wrong, you loose control of your vehicle since there's no grip whatsoever hence, my crashing of the Wira.

What's waiting for me in the coming days are trivial matters. Insurance, insurance and more insurance. What a way to start your semester break huh? I'd like to thank all the incoming SMSes and phone calls. Thanks a zillion for your concerns. Even my realtives in KL and Johor was all panicky on the phone. I felt bad being slightly amused. They're bloody relieved that I escaped the whole ordeal unscathed.

So am I.

Headrushbangkerplam!

2006-11-03T17:53:00.000+08:00

One down, three to go.

Something's a little but off about this semester's finals. I can't pinpoint what. Ok, so the Investment paper's not as nightmare-ish as it was the previous semester. I wouldn't say I aced it but at least I'm safe enough to claim not having to register for MAF380 again for next semester.

Perhaps it's the diminishing Raya mood. Pn Nooriha was in a way right that Raya is there to celebrate every single year unlike the chance to graduate that comes only twice or thrice in a lifetime. It made sense, I agree. But no matter how hard you try, you can't lie to your heart. It's only been a week goddamnit. I wanna crash more open houses!

That, was somehow answered with a calming calling. Cik Marina invited us Repeaters for a lil' get together at her crib in Bandar Universiti yesterday. The only turn ups were me, Shaf, Hapis, BM, Didie, Ain and Afzan. We had fun, the food's great albeit being minimal in variety. I never knew Cucur Ketam (one of Cik Marina's many food inventions. a crab-shaped, vegan version of cucur udang) could be so addictive. I think I ate like, a dozen. It was kinda hot and humid that night (perhaps it was Ain. her tank top drove our tempretures right up) that I had to catch a breather outside. We left around 5 minutes to 9, but not before borrowing Catch Me If You Can and Confronting The Evidence: A Call To Re-Open The 9/11 Investigations for my enjoyment for the rest of the night.

I'm supposed to start making a CD mix for some friends. They seem compelled to educate themselves given the fact that I practically have 'an entire collection of alien music' in my exty and lappie. But I woke up late, missing my Friday prayers and battling a surging migraine that felt like tonnes of brick exploding one by one in my head. So how do I manage to type this unperturbed?

Took the keys, drove far, and got myself a haircut. After all the Pandols and Polaramines, shedding a heavy amount of my bobbed hair should do the trick. I look like a blast from a twisted past. Centre-parted up front, jet black mullet-like at the back. I should be back at the house cracking books and taking formulas to heart but then this dose of momentary escape is a much needed drug. So now off I go, leaving the patrons of this cyber cafe another empty computer screen for them to oogle at.

Goodbye.

Of Ketupats and Rendangs

2006-10-30T01:52:00.000+08:00

What would probably bother me most this week is the fact that I barely started reading my notes for Thursday's Investment finals. But then this weekend came about. I was again, sidetracked.

My Saturday was a slow-burner. Woke up at 12 and staight away slumped my ass in front of the laptop (and PC; football manager bebeh) right after showers. The previous night was wasted with Adam and Azhar at Manggo. I miss my Banana Shake fix. Got a text from Pa'e while I was there. He's having a get-together late in the afternoon. I smiled happily whilst replying, haven't seen the old gang since July. So after a lil' chit chat with Ibu, off I went to Shalam to meet up Zhaf. I tell you, thank God that he knows his way around. Klang is such a bitch to tame! Once you get distracted, that's it. Bye-bye. You're lost. So there we were, all 6 of us. Laughing our heads off at Razi's antics while trying hard not to spill the laksa that we were eating. I can't stop munching the spicy mini eggrolls that Pa'e had to take it to the kitchen 3 times for refills. It's so damn good!

We stayed a while more before splitting. Akim's been bugging me forever to check out the new Cash Converters outlet in Sunway. Well it was ok. I think Buy Sell Trade has a lot more to offer. But then I managed to get myself the now-rare Least Wanted Hits compilation (RM9) and a Therapy? single (RM3). Hehe. It was already 8 by then. Ibu called and told us to get our own dinner since she's too tired to fix up anything. We were practically stumped as to where we'd go to satisfy our unattended tummy. Akim needed to stop by Toys 'R Us for a birthday present that he was due to give. I had a blast oggling at the new Lego, revving the many motorized Hot Wheels on display, checking out the latest Batman stuffed plushie figure, laughing at the weird doodles we made with Etch-A-Sketch and pretty much torturing the staff and other patrons with the amount of noise we let out. After all that, we still have tummies to fill.

Fast food has been a staple diet for us since Ramadhan bowed its way out of the limelight so McD and KFC's out of the question. There's no place I know of that serves good nasi campur at night so that was out too. Akim objected to Salmon Steak because it seems it won't be the same without my friends around so Pan Cafe was our last resort. I must say that their Prima Breakfast Set (yes, served for dinner) is a good bargain. Scrambled eggs, a portion of hash browns and a couple of beef bacon strips for 5 bucks? Yummeh.

So then Sunday was expected to be tiresome. The plan was for Hapis, Amir and me to head back to Bota circa 5 but then due to a request the trip back just has to be Monday. That however, brought joy to my heart as I can FINALLY attend Akak's makan-makan do! I can't really remember when was the last time I enjoyed the company of friends. Well, maybe my 'surprise' birthday bash last month could count as one. If the company was good, the food's even better! The beef rendang was rightfully made to perfection. Semi-hard meat and mild mix of spices, nothing could go wrong. And I was amazed at myself for not getting myself lost along the way. Wehoo.

Oh yeah, at last I bought myself a copy of Junk's debut issue. The content's great. Reminds me a lot of dear old TONE but IMHO the layout needs some extra brainstorming. It's too, how shall I say this, space-wastingly rigid? The sampler CD is also cool but maybe it lacks a proper theme of cohesiveness but that intentionally for the 1st issue, I'm hoping to see better days.

I'm not done packing. It looks like I've no intention to end it.

"It's in my professional opinion that you've become a monster."

2006-10-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

What I love about wasting time clicking away aimlessly around the cyberspace is the many, many distractions it offer. Online or offline. The thing about 'wandering' is that you make best of what you have right in front of you.

See, all this while I've been a loyal servant to the many wonders of p2p technology. Starting from Napster to Audiogalaxy to Kazaa, it had me fixated with the prospect of having my own media library with only a fraction of my budget harmed. Then came Soulseek which saved my sanity when the RIAA and the rest of the money-making head honchos took Shawn Fanning and co. to -ironically- face the music.

The course of my wandering won't be decently documented if I left out Friendster and Myspace. Aaaand Hi5, Kawanster, Blogspot, LiveJournal, Last. fm and (hey!) Vox. It's where new acquaintances are found undermined interests are sowed and hidden habits unveiled.

Somehow somewhat, I was left out on another movement. Another surged wave threatened to smash my 'video downloads suck major hours and ends up being total crap' to smithereens. Torrents. Bit mumfucking Torrents. As we speak, I now have in my stahs 15, DVD-crisp, excellent rip movies. And it all took an aggregate of 7 days. 24/7.

Thumbsucker was actually an oddball choice. I was looking for recommendations when Li said Thank You For Smoking and Adaptation (which then later spurred the search for Daniel Johnston's docu, Citizeen Kane and the foreign language version of The Science Of Sleep; all to no avail) just might be the ones I'm looking for. Thank You For Smoking was a blast. I think it's Aaron Eckhart at his nonchalant best. I mean, Merchants Of Death? Supercool. Still, I need another movie to make my so-called Raya marathon complete so I turned to aXXo who is infamously the best movie ripper in the world. Thumbsucker was the only one on his list that I've never heard of.

Lou Pucci plays Justin Cobb, a 17 year-old member of his school's debating club whose addiction is to suck on his left thumb whenever he feels like to. Well having said that and judging from the DVD cover you would highly likely draw the conclusion of it either being arty farty or Wes Anderson-witty or better yet, a combo of both. I really didn't care to be honest. It was already 6 in the a.m. when the download's done so I thought of watching half of it then, and finish it up in the afternoon. A move I reckon to be most brilliabt of me in recent years. Heh.

Other than Mike Mills' acute direction/intepretation of the novel and Lou's magnificient potrayal of Justin, the rest of the cast surely deserves mentions for their stellar performances. Keanu Reeves has to be the hippest, most breezy dentist to ever grace the silver screen with his Horatio Caine-ish speech pattern and demeanor. Not to mention Vince Vaughn who in my humble opinion, finally did justice to his own career by staying solid on track all the while. The movie's also interspersed with musical interludes by The Polyphonic Spree and Elliot Smith (with a cover of Chris Bell's Thirteen!)

Seeing Justin transform from a thumbsucker to a hotshot debater to a pothead and eventually turning back to thumbsucking reflects a whole lot on my life as I see it going forward. A closet low self-esteemer with every intention to hide himself by fronting an amiable facade as means to make himself accessible to anyone. Well yeah, the movie ends on a happy note but it is one that will keep ringing in my ears for a while. How I love being single forever.

Hmm.

2006-10-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

Anyone here other than me thinks that the recent fasting month's the briefest of all? It felt like it's only for a week but hey, I'm not exactly complaining. Heh.

What I will miss most about Ramadhan is how magical the holy month can be and the wonders it did to yours truly. The hereafter rewards you ask? Sadly no. Although I am not proud of saying this, it's a fact that I am not God's most humble, abiding servant. I'm rather enthralled at how things take its paths. From my hightened concentration in sleep-inducing classes to my generally good daily mood, everything else in between seemed a walk in the park. No, scratch that. It's actually like enjoying an awesome serving of Mi Sedaap. Yes, it's that yummy.

Let's not dwell into food details ok?. But I can't help to talk about the loveliness of how 'cheerful' the gorgeously delicious foods are displayed at the Ramadhan Bazaar in Sri Iskandar and for it to be tasteful just adds a lot of sassy plus points to it. Seriously! Lan's short stint, part time foray as a Bubur Ayam vendor didn't go in vain as his homemade chicken porridge could very well give McDonald's a serious run for their money. Everyday is a sold out day. The quality of Achik's currypuffs have been on a constant high throughout the month, Abang Lebai dishes the best Roti Boom ever in years and where the hell can you get an awesome Carrot Juice for the price less than a Milo Ais other than the one served by Abang Askar? Now don't get me started on the oddball-yet-ball-busting Yong Tau Fu! It's a gift from heaven....

Oops. So much for not rambling on details.

On another note, Ramadan somehow fueled my composing drive and somewhat sharpens my lyrical instinct. Perhaps it's the food I consume. Yummm.

Regardless, I've been so driven that I decided to finally set up a revamped Anjakan Paradigma which now has 4 songs under its belt without the band having its 1st meet up. Telephony Delivery's getting its share of the pie as well as I've got a rough/clear idea of how the soundtrack job for Hafeez's short film would sound like. There's been 2 or 3 suggestive tracks but it is more likely that Mubarak (named as such as it was written over the course of 2 consecutive Ramadhans) will make the cut to be surgically dissected under our attentive care. Other new tracks are shaping up as well, giving us a chance to better use our studio time in the coming months.

All that happening in a single, unforgettable month? Could Syawal be any better?

So far, I'm still smiling.

It's extremely comfy to celebrate the first day of Syawal with my very own family here in USJ. The busy scent of the city is somehow my idea of spiritual bliss. You can take me out of the suburban, but you can't take the suburban out of me. Yes, I am a budak bandar and I'll admit to it again and again and again. Hell, even my mum's kampung's in Kg. Baru/Singapore which hardly qualifies as a common kampung. Arwah Ayah's side in Tapah? I shall not start on that. It's adding insult into lifelong scar.

So this year we decide to have it at Ki's place in Dungun. It is by far, the best Raya I've ever experienced. The only Raya that I actually feel how celebrating in kampung is actually like. Well, we set off on a very funny note actually. We only flew to Dungun on Raya eve, just after break fasting and we left for USJ on the 2nd day of Raya. Yes, we flew Air Asia. How 'balik kampung' was that?

The 2 nights I was there, I finally witnessed and understood the relations my cousins and aunts/uncs have established amongst themselves. One that made me envious. See, I never had that buddy-like rapport with my elderlies. Maybe I am to blame. Maybe I just don't know what went wrong. So that explains why I spent my days there examining the ties between them and it's downright wonderful. I'm amazed at how clockwork-like the whole thing can be. Everysingle day, without a whisper of words, each and everyone of them is somehow synced into the routine with military precision. Be it preparing breakfast/lunch/dinner right down to entertaining guests that came for beraya, it's like living a in a big ass, fancy diner. Everyday is a kenduri day.

I had fun observing the many antics of my cousins. The twins Kakak and Dedek has grown up so much that they look like a scarf-clad cucumber running around the house in their Raya garb. Others are very much their usual self but yet again, Siti grabbed my fancy. I caught her catching glimpses my way and noticed the smiles she made whenever I let out a funny remark or when I litely laughed at a joke while looking her way. Is that flirting? Entah. I can tell you this -potentially sounding cheesily dorkish here- in a nutshell, she's a bombshell in her own way and I find it hard to ignore the fact. Heh.

So as we got back from Terengganu last night, my head was swirling with afterthoughts and anticipation for the coming weeks. Finals are beckoning. My revision progress is still at a standstill. Damn. Blame the holidays. Actually all that excitement costs me a sudden high fever. Probably due to the dry wheather up in the East Coast. I think I'm recovering. Tomorrow will be a continuation of the occasional house visit for Hari Raya. My duit raya collection status is in good health. Whee.

Bismillahirahmanirrahim

2006-10-10T15:07:00.000+08:00

Fasting's been rather 'fast'. It's already day 17.

Nothing's out of the ordinary about the current order here in Sri Iskandar. Classes are as usual, my daily routine's still flowing as it is, except for the uninterrupted trip to the nearby Ramadhan Food Bazaar.

That, I tell you. Is the only place you'd want to be if you think of shredding your pahala puasa to shattered, microscopic shreds. Of course, gawking at the many delicacies and gorgeously delicious lauks can do no harm per se, but it's the female crowd that proved to be Superman's dreaded kryptonite. It's funny to come up with a summation that as we're nearing the cornerstone of Syawal, girls seem to be having less and less cloth to cover them up and even lesser decency to -at the very least- have mercy on us boys. Please lah. You think it's that simple not to pay attention at what color your thong actually is? Or how your belly button looks in a certain angle?

I went back to Subang last weekend. Nope, I took the bus. Can't afford financing the Wira alone. Ibu greeted me at the door with a giant mug of orange Sunkist. I was 20 minutes late for berbuka thanks to the insane traffic and worsening haze. I can't really recall if I ever break fast-ed with my friends somewhere around town so I consider Saturday's a first for me. Adam, Azhar, Adib, Naem, Bono, Bob (with friends), Syamil, Awoi and me had a nice one at Salmon Steak. Syamil's been absent from our presence a long while now so it was nice yakking with him again. Oh, I dedicate my Chicken Chop Fried Rice to you Dids. Heh.

It was never in my weekend planner to hit Mokhtar's studio for band practice but Adib insisted over and over again that we must so I gave in without much fight. It was a short one-hour session. I thought it was below par for all of us (sound-wise, attention span-wise) but the guys enjoyed it and seemed unsatisfied with the time frame. Headed to Mango and to my surprise, I settled with 3 ais kosongs. Shoestring budget. Even the supervisor/boss asked questioningly as to why I didn't order my usual 1 Litre Banana Shake. Tsk.

On an unexpected note, Hafeez asked the band to score a soundtrack for his upcoming short-movie entrance for the Anugerah Filem Pendek. Knowing him, I know it'll be an extremely uphill task for us since we somewhat share the same penchant for ambience/brooding music; an ocean where Telephony Delivery's yet to set its sail. Regardless, I'm seing this as the best chance for us to challenge our working ethics. Bend the rules, break the barriers.

Now where the hell is Tash? Gian Yahoo! Pool ni.

Penat

2006-09-20T16:42:00.000+08:00

I had the longest weekend ever.

My morning overslumber was cut short. Me and the siblings headed off to Arwah Ayah's grave for the occasional visit as early as 8 in the a.m. Things looked pretty at the graveyard as the municipal council workers were busy clearing the place off overgrown wild shrubs and unattended bunch of trees. It gave the place a facelift. A much needed one if I should say so. We left as soon as we're done reciting the Yasin, but something in me is still there. Maybe a mountain of regret or perhaps a sea of doubts or probably a sky of grief. I know I've never been the good son I am obliged to be. I've been blessed with so many wonderful findings in my life that not even one of it reminded me to be thankful of it. To be thankful to Him. Day by day I seem to be neglecting what was once my only faith. My pillar of devotion. Forgive me, Ayah.

I sent my Jagmaster a fortnight ago to Amir for servicing. He gave me a great discount but I still have to fork out RM55 for it. Then I left it at Music Walk for a few hours for string replacement. That's another RM30. Geez.

Azhar, Bono and Bob arrived at my place around 1 and we zipped to KLIA instantly. Mimi's leaving for Dublin. Naturally I wanted to get something for her as a token of good luck, but I came empty handed. She on the other hand, gave me my advance birthday present. A cool cocoa-grey-striped shirt. I was speechless. Maybe the whole airport wondered why this boy looked like he had a hanger in his mouth. I was so ecstatic. Thanks Dids! I'm working on something for you. It'll be in your mailbox soon god-willing.

Bono and me were in disbelief as we saw Mimi dissapeared from our sight as she made her way through the immigration counter. It's difficult to accept the fact that she's gone. No more random SMSes, no more William's, no more Mango's, no more Salmon Steak's, no more movies. Well, at least for a year. So you go work your ass off and do us proud ya hear?! Heh.

Hmm. Someone better tell me for good that the expressway is not a speedway. Not. A. Speedway. Normally by average it'll take you 30-45 minutes to get to USJ from KLIA but somehow I did it in 15.

The only reason I pulled that stunt was that we were behind schedule for the band's recording session. So that also explains why I splurged a wad of my cash on the guitar without hesitance. It was Azhar's idea for us to make a live recording of the new songs. He thinks that it should be put up at the band's Myspace page. I thought it was a brilliant move on his part since we can treat it as a pre-production phase before we hit the studio again late this year for a proper EP. It took us 2 hours just to lay down the basic guitar-bass-drums part alone. Tiring as hell. Shah and Azhar were done with theirs in less than an hour.

The Overture Of Dollah Tiger & Mat Chicago is missing something. Maybe it really need vocals. We're seriously considering Syamil for that guest slot. His grindcore days are far from over. He still has the chops for it. Eversince the day we wrote Aviation Spirit, I had my own qualms about it not being 'Telephony Delivery' enough. But after a few adjustments and a clever improvisation from Azhar, it turned out to be our biggest sounding song to date. Slightly majestic, sparsely euphoric. I've always had a soft spot for Faux Fiancee Foe Pt. 2. Not because I came up with it, not because it was my first string section composition but what striked my fancy was how it was shaped to be the breathtaking beast it is. Each and everyone had their mark on it. But that song took me, Bob and Adib countless of takes to call it a wrap. The 'grindcore' part proved to be too off-kilter for our own good. I think in the end we chose to go ahead with the 1st take. Too much of not enough? Maybe.

Although overall we did well -considering the last time we played/practiced was at/for JamAsia- I've got to hand the 'men of the match' award to Shah and Azhar. Shah was magnificent with his acute sense of handling the inticrate duties of audio effects. His timing was impeccable, his application was sufficient and his instinct was right on the dollar. Azhar's playing has expanded greatly and it'll be interesting to see his future maenderings. I'm happy to say that the band's first ever (unofficial) pre-production went mighty fine.

Then came Sunday.

I turned 21.

Ibu felt that it was the best time to hold a birthday bash-cum-open house. I felt weird. I can't really remember when was the last time my birthday was celebrated with people other than my parents and siblings. I felt even weirder when Ibu told me to go and get the birthday cake from Secret Recipe myself. So much for a surprise. I had to act surprised when the time came for the ceremonial cake-cutting Kodak moment. Actually, I got 2 cakes. Thanks to Auntie Ani. She always make a point to bring something to the table even when we're running out of table space. God bless her. Akak, Pojam, Li, Azhar, Bob, Izzat and Adam made my day. Awesome company. My nieces and nephew were running around the house like it was their birthday. But then again, everyday is a birthday to them. Heh.

Nonetheless, the whole event was superb. A convergence of friends and families? What more could I possibly ask for? I couldn't even be bothered about gifts in any form by then.

But a Proton Wira?

Damn son, a 6-year old 2nd hand it may be (an under-utilised company car to boot) but it still serves the purpose. I was more than thankful. My worries were put to rest. Walking back home from campus during Ramadhan is a big no-no. After I'm done packing, I had to leave for Perak soon before it gets dark. It was my first PLUS highway journey so I had to take every necessary precaution hence leaving early.

Someone must really, really remind me that the highway is really, really not a speedway. I reached the Gopeng exit in an hour and 15 minutes. Ayah don't seem to be joyful about it. But then again I seriously think he's responsible for rubbing the speedy needy flu on me.

So maybe you had a longer, more meaningful weekend than me but nothing can beat what I got out of it. No, not the Wira. Not the neat shirt nor the satisfying recording session. Not even the barrage of birthday wishes from unexpected acquaintences.

I have the best, most understanding and most loving parents one could ever, ever ask for.

Now beat that.

An evening of peril

2006-09-11T15:20:00.000+08:00

So yesterday was a pivotal moment for the band. We were about to introduce ourselves properly to the masses (Arty Party doen't quite count, if you catch my drift). Everything was on the line.

I came early for soundchecks. Polarised blew me off, Ferns was their usual self, Priceless Stupid Box reminded me why I love/miss Cesspit so much, Mr. Sterile's too solid for a show of that calibre, Go Vertical was klutzy at first and Akta remained anonymously secretive by refusing to do one.

But why was Telephony Delivery denied a soundcheck slot?

Spontaneously the answer would be there isn't enough time to afford one slot for us. I can accept that, but I'm still quite bitter about it. Thank god at least Shah got to test his EMX before our set or his whole part would sound like an army of crickets buzzing to kill mankind. It was Adib's gig so we save it all to ourselves. He's been under monstrous pressure handling the gig itself and we wouldn't want to spoil his mood.

We got swept off the opening slot by Go Vertical. I'm very fond of this band already. The perfect fit of what I dreamt of achieving. They brilliantly combined my love for brooding, dynamics instrumentals with what Telephony's doing right now- fast/fast rock. Acid (prn: a-cheit) rocked the drum kit like it was the last thing he'd do before kicking the bucket. I expect to see them gigging around nearby soon.

Then it was us. Suddenly I felt everything went mute. As if we were on stage just moving things and packing stuff. Was it our lack of PR? Probably. I had to act as the band's spokesperson by default since Azmir's no longer with us and the others won't do it. So I mumbled and crap-talked my way as Azhar and Shah set up their equipments and then we were ok to go. All Was Lost was way below par I reckon. Thanks to my singing voice. Must find a solution to that. Everything went quite ok until we played Faux Fiancee Foe Pt. 2 where Bob slipped his solo bass break and one of the guitar strings snapped (it's Adib's. so sorry bro). I gave a shout-out to the bands playing that day wheather I could loan their guitar for just one more song but my plea was to no avail. I felt stupid then. Really. Stupid. So we decided to continue with The Overture Of Dollah Tiger & Mat Chicago with it and by then I don't give a rat's ass what'll happen. We played, done, packed and left. Playing a set like that after Go Vertical, surefire suicide I tell you.

My head was full of negativity as me, Azhar, Efry, Bono and Li went to Agros (Argos?) for drinks. Our set was morale-y disastrous for me personally. I had to rush to Pudu since my bus's departing by 7:30. Then all the while I was in the bus, I reflected on the gig. Did we just make a fool of ourselves? Would that be our last show before surfacing with another slot for another half a year? Then it hit me. That was our 1st show with Shah and Bob. The band's 2nd gig since it's inception.

I am to hard on myself I guess.

As I was lounging at my bach. pad's living room, Akak texted a well-done message. At least someone genuinely thinks we were decently ok. Then I popped the vidcam and reviewed our slot and I thought, "Hey, it was not that bad". Then today I checked tha band's Myspace. People actually liked Dollah Tiger and we sold 7-8/10 of our reissued demo.

But was I discouraged? No. The thought of us playing again in a very, very long while is strangely a motivation. We'll be hogging the drawing board, charting a better path and attacking a greater goal. We will be heard. Watch out.

Hmm. I am to hard on myself.

Making our parents proud

2006-09-09T03:23:00.000+08:00

I must be starking mad for exerting myself this week.

That's why at times I hate being on holiday. It's more of a labour these days. I think my financials are way better when I'm back in campus. More manageable.

The band had it's 1st official photoshoot on Thursday. We chose a back alley at the old LICT campus and a nearby playground as a venue. Passer-bys were intrigued by what we were doing, as if we're smoking crack or something to that effect. It was kinda tiring with all the poses and positioning we had to endure. The weather was very London-ish. Grey skies, chilling gusts. The best part must be the playground shot. While Adib and Shah were busy with the camera, Azhar, Bob and me hopped giddily on the see-saw and laugh our heads off. The heavy drops of rain signalled the end of the session so we head to Pelita for drinks. Sup Ayam. Yumm.

Later that night, what was suppose to be a final practice jamming turned out to be a mini-concert. Thanks to Myo and his posse for filling up the studio space, cheering us on. We played 3 exhausting rounds of Sunday's setlist. It felt like taking on a raging bull, twice. We then zipped to Mango for the customary Banana Shake 1 ltr while getting wasted with rounds of Bullshit and heavy doses of laughter before splitting. It was 4 in the a.m.

I woke up kinda early the next day. Friday's calling I guess. But then something happened. My right wrist was somewhat sprained, and the tip of my index finger hurt like hell. I was driving with my left arm the whole day, let alone picking up the guitar (was supppose to record a tracking track for Azhar). Dang.

Mimi asked a few days prior for a meet up at William's. I miss their Beef Lasagna. Awesomeness in a plate. By around 1, the gang left and now here I am. Tired. As. Hell.

*here's some of the photos of Thursday

...and this is my edited version for my Lappie's wallpaper.

Head over to here and drop by your feedbacks. It's not everyday you see us pose for you. Heh.

See you on Sunday.

Bam Bang

2006-09-06T23:13:00.000+08:00

My first trip to MMU was noteworthy. No, not because I was there for a gig. And no, not because of the chicks I bumped into. It was more about the crowd I'm with, the overall mood we had. That's what a good night out was meant to be. A night of goodness with friends. Oh and paying only 5 bucks to see another awesome TWKUA set? I'd pay ten-fold.

So today was almost similarly brilliant. It rained around noon. The kind of rain which sends a chill that seeps into your bones, messing up beautifully with your senses in a way you thought impossible. Yes, like that. It helps a great deal when you're driving with Sigur Ros playing on the car stereo. For a moment there, I was in Reykjavik.

Azhar came by around 4 so we could further tweak the songs. That was a smooth sail. Tomorrow night is the last jamm session before the show on Sunday. Yeah, we should practice more but everyone's kinda caught up with other things. We'll see how it goes.

I guess I'll stop here. I might've sprained my right wrist. And my left is feeling funny too. Not good. Here's Sunday's flyer:

Make yourself available, and do come over if you're itching to know how exactly pressure is dealt with on-stage, first-hand and out-loud (the other bands are sooooo damn good. tatutt).

Maksud Erti

2006-08-31T11:54:00.000+08:00

Ok, ok. I know i've been ignoring this space of late.

The much-awaited midterm break is here hence, the mounting tension of first round tests and 11th hour quizzes have been haunting me of late. Shoving that aside, my well-being is generally on the upside of things lately. As 'vacant' as my newfound comfort zone seems to be, it is actually a breeze living on this side of -as according to a certain lot- a socialite's hellhole. Maybe it's the reluctant serenity, or maybe it's the accidental warmth and unwilling welcoming vibe. Then again, it could just be me. I found a space, now it's mine (and four other's), I'm making it home. I found...home?

Needless to say that the dorm days are a far cry from this. Not that I am a stranger to house chores, but now there's a different weight to it. Heavy on the outside, feather-light on the inside. Never has clearing the bin, sweeping the house, mopping the floor and even dust-clearing the mats reward such fulfillment. Am I enjoying myself here? Well, 'happily contented' would best be an epitome.

Hmm. I sound gravely monotonous am I?

Well on a bumpier note, I'm making an effort to reconcile the ties that's left unattended long ago. Texting old schoolmates, lifelong chums and slightly-estranged cousins could count as a decent first step. I'm planning on meeting them, have a drink or something as a next move. i think I've spend too much of my life looking for new friends and looking forward to exciting things that I left those who were there with me all this while, at bay. For what it's worth, forgive me.

As for the band, the Melaka job is pushed to the 17th of next month (or maybe cancelled, or there's another postponement). Something about the organizer having his finals on the initial date. But the downside of that is I can't spend my birthday with the family and Akta's playing their final show on the same day before calling it a break. Oh, we're opening for Adib's gig on the 10th at JamAsia (do come!!). Sharing stage again with Akta Angkasa. Wheeyuwhee.

Something's brewing in our minds since Azhar roped in Shah (commonly known as Mr. DJ to a certain someone. Heh) to fill in the empty slot that Syamil left. He's not our 5th member, not just yet I guess but yes he's hired for both shows. We only jammed once, and what he brought to the table then was somewhat a breath of fresh air to us. A window that we didn't have. He took up Azhar's effects duties like stealing candy from a baby. His KORG ElecTribe proved to be his secret weapon (the miniKorg was abandoned completely by us. Odd). We even slip in a drummachine break in one of the songs (to which my experience with FruityLoops became useful to set the BPM) which turned out well. With this new bent we're taking, the only thing I can tell is that this might be a make or break period for us. It may do wonders or just go straight-up bonkers.

So the nation turns 49 today. How was my Merdeka you say? It was 12 in the morning, stuck on a bus in Medan Gopeng with Potter & co. playing Murky Night on my iPitch!. How appropriate. The song, mind you. Not the setting.

Well holidays are here, here's to the holiday.

p/s: I'm starting a (yet another) side-project, Loopside. I'll let it out soon. No fun spilling the beans now : p

Bye.

A Brief

2006-07-31T20:55:00.000+08:00

A lot of going-ons flew by me but not without leaving noticable/memorable scars/marks. And my being too caught up with the consequences following the said events forbids me to update this space as often as I would like. This 2nd half of 2006 is so far, twisty. Life-changing if it is to be magnified appropriately. For starters, I should've graduated.

Yeah, I am still a Boterian through and through. Extending my study plan means a whole lotta damage to the budget since I've to live off campus. You know, the works. Renting a place, paying bills, maintaining your sanity, cutting down on food consumptions (a whole lot), fully utilizing your survival skills and spontaneous ingenuity (doubling the ricecooker as an electric kettle proved to be a fruitful discovery. We now have carbohydrated drink. Tastes starch-y) and hoping every single day that you won't have to settle with instant noodles for lunch/dinner for the next day.

No. 20 Persiaran Iskandar Perdana 50,
Dataran Seri Iskandar,
32600 Seri Iskandar.

My new zip code. Write that down.

This single-storey, low-cost crib is not bad for my first ever bachelor pad. With 3 bedrooms, a bathroom and a toilet plus tile flooring, a monthly rent of RM170 couldn't be a better start to this newfound life. Hapis, Faroq and Yat have been marvey housemates so far. Old chum Am will be joining the gang in a few days. The neighborhood is quite serene. Apart from Shaf and Alep who's living in front of us, nothing much can be said about the other neighbors. Pretty much occupied with their day jobs and family, I guess. Urban dejavu? Highly likely. Distance wise, it's a good 2 km away from my faculty. I'm applying for a car but at the moment I'm riding shotgun in Shaf's Saga. All in all, I am enjoying every second of it. Same goes with classes. All is well.

Things back home are kinda swell. Or is it? Perhaps I'm seeing things in a different shade of grey. Like how I'm seeing Syamil's retirement from the band to be an eye (and ear) opener. Yeah, he left. Unfortunately for reasons that are unknown to me. I was told by Azhar, not himself. For what it's worth, it was a pleasure working with such talent. All the best to you. So the band is as of this moment, a quartet. I did buzz Ajil since he crossed my mind instantly as a replacement. But as the four of us talked about the future, Syamil's departure made us realize that we can do more with what we have. With only the 4 of us. We saw the possibility of doing things that we never thought of doing. The 'Less Is More' credo seems to be a suitable one to adopt. Oh and, we're 90% sure of playing a show on the 28th somewhere in Melaka. It'll be fun I hope. It's a good slot to test-drive our new tunes.

Ok then. Laters.

Sorry, Awin

2006-06-13T02:50:00.000+08:00

"Hello Awin! So, apa pengalaman Awin rasa di tipu orang? Teruk ke, biasa ke, serik ke?"

"Ade sekali ni, Awin tunggu kat Pudu, katanya nak beli tiket bas balik kampung sama-sama. Lepas dah 3 jam tunggu, dia tak datang gak. Awin call, dia kata dia malas. Tak larat. Pastu Awin pergi rumah dia, dia buat bodoh je. Sakit hati ni tau."

"La, sampai 3 jam? Takpelah Awin, kita ni.........."

Yeah, I had that. More than once. Well, it happens to everyone of us ain't it? But I recall the one back in 2001 being the most vividly remembered. I was on the 4th floor of MPSJ's Hypermedia Library where two days prior, I've made arrangements with Nadia and Sharifah to have a study group for the upcoming test. It ended with me walking back home in awkward bitterness after waiting like a log for a full 4 hours. The decency to inform me came as I was leaving the
premises. Huh.

Actually, it's about something else.

The above dialogue is an excerpt of a telephone conversation between the the caller -Awin- and Burn -a DJ for XFresh FM. Something struck me very sharply when the name Awin came to mind. It was a period of distress, a bad twist of a moment and some might even say; the perfect timing for imperfection.

It was 2004. The year I was an enthusiastic sophomore. Life was smoother than a baby's bottom, even sweeter than a Kelantanese kuih. Mid-semester breaks are normally spent in Sunway Pyramid, hunting for CDs at Fantasy and a few doses of nasi lemak at Stars Archery. Bumping into familiar faces is a given. Mostly juniors and up-and-coming jamming studio stalwarts walking in groups brimming with confidence that they might just be the next best thing. Word on the streets has it that Khazim hooked up with someone 2 years older (my age) than him and everyone was making a huge deal about it since he's the first to have a somewhat Moore-Kutcher relationship. Even a handful of my batch were excitingly involved in the whole deal namely Rahman. From what I heard, things are going very well with the couple. I couldn't be happier as a friend.

One CD-hunting day, I bumped into the lovebirds on their way to McDonald's. I was introduced to her. She is Awin -the only girl I've ever met that made me wanted her to be mine so instantly if not, badly. But that thought rushed out of my mind as soon as it creeped in. She's happily with him.

Not too long after that, I heard talks from the boys at Berkat half-jokingly making fun of how Khazim's avoiding Awin. What was intriguing is that his expression was not one of a good laugh. He was uneasy. Very uneasy. Again, I let it pass under my radar thinking that his ego might be threatened by his friends.

Then one night, I got a call from someone unexpected. It was Awin. She was crying. I was; befuddled. Cutting the chase, she plead for me to talk some sense into him. Apparently, she was badmouthed by Rahman -notoriously famous for doing so apart from his other devillish ways- that led Khazim to a grinding halt with her. Ever so abruptly. Rahman was a damn good pied piper. No matter how many tales have been told of his wretched doings, he always have a legion of kids behind him as his support system. Sadly, Khazim was one of them. As to ease her suffering, I gave her my word that I'll talk to him about it. Honestly, from the day that I know that they we're both an item, and 'till this very day, I've never even whispered her name to him.

Things were laying low quietly for a forthnight. Then she called again. She was in such a mess. The divorce of her parents drove her dad to violently harass her mother and her even to the point that coming out of the house was a petrified thought. Khazim was her chimney of relief. The window to which she smiled throwing a long gaze at life's wonderful offerings. When that was taken away from her, she lost hope. Even confesses to me of suicide attempts. I was helpless. Nothing could've prepared me for that. I ended the conversation by saying that she could call and we would talk about it anytime as she found it surprisingly relieving talking to me about it. By this time, I realized I was myself, a wretched being.

She made strings of calls and dozens of SMSes to which I didn't respond to. I was so afraid of the burden that I placed upon myself. Yes, I was a lowly coward. The last SMS she sent me was asking about my well-being, and informing that her dad died of reasons that I couldn't remember.

Perhaps that was the end of her suffering. Perhaps it was a new beginning for her.

But none of that thought could diminish the guilt I have all this while. Breaking promises are a lifelong dread.

And my life haven't even begun yet.

Part 2

2006-06-01T23:39:00.000+08:00

Hmm.

I'm beginninig to think that this second visit to London is very much; a sophomore slump. Don't get me wrong, I like it here. But from a tourist point of view, it is far from an ideal vacation. Not that it bothers me much, but the looming, dreaded Londoner vibe sorta grows on you overtime. I remember stumbling upon a quote by George Michael saying how he can't stand breathing in London's air let alone living here. It's beginning to make sense now.

Despite all the fabulous options this city offer, when it comes down to a point, everything is really very 'routine-ic'. Let's take the telly programs for example. All the programs are scheduled with military-like precision. Instead of "11:30 p.m." or 12:00 p.m.", it's always "11:23 p.m." and "12:05 p.m.". Yeah, they're anal like that but what in the name of god is that!? Madness I tell you, madness. And speaking of the telly, the only 2 things that are worth your potato-couch hours are the news (read: John Prescott's "amusing" misdemeanors) and this island of a nation's reality show phenom, Big Brother. Well, okay the gameshows are alright. Brainteaser's a fun brain excercise but what's with the X Factor show? It proves even more that these Englishs (?) are snobs by their birth rights.

All the humane aspects aside, this is a lovely place. The perfect place for expression if not for good first impressions. Every nook and crook gleams with childish enthusiasm, prompting you to burst along with the chilly gust of wind that often hits you in the face.

My days here are numbered, and the curtains are drawing near.

So, would I think of coming here again? After all that's been said?

Yes & yes. I'm anal like that.

Hmm.

Part 1

2006-05-30T21:16:00.000+08:00

That flight attended was crazily making me uneasy in my seat. If 'moves' is a way of the seducer, then she has puh-lenty of that. Her voice is strangely sexy. Sandpaper-like, but very smooth in between her ifs and buts, pardons and thank yous, and the occasional how are yous and more thank yous. Her name is Ridhani. And this is yours truly, wishing to himself that she'll be on the return flight on the 6th.

It's only my second coming to the land of the Queen, but it felt as if it's another trip to some island off the shores of Kedah. A vacation of this calibre deserves a slightly meticulate, beforehand planning and packing, but I only pulled the whole deal off on the 11th hour. Barely. Perhaps Ibu was right, "this feels like balik kampung!". Hung out with the gang (read: Mimi, Bono, Alia and Azhar) the night before and it was the best 'bonding session' thus far despite the upset of a full-house William's. It's pleasing to know that my momentary absence is setting foot on bright-lit staircases.

We hit Heathrow at approximately 1800hours local time. Strange is how I hoped that we landed in KLIA. Homesick much? I must be out of my mind. It's a chilling 16 degrees outside but already I'm breaking sweat from all the walking from the gate to the exit; a feature of the busy airport that I found so not appealing. Immigration was nothing short of uneasy. We're lucky we didn't have to go through what our neighbours on the right and left counter went through. If we were being questioned, they were being scrutinately interrogated. It's a bitch, really. After checking in into the apartment, all 8 of us strolled to Sommerfield for groceries. Had dinner, watched a Big Brother update, and called it a night around 11.

The apartment isn't like how we left it 2 years ago. Gone are the carpets, making way for the wooden panel flooring, the switch between the dining area and the living room is not something that is well greeted by Ibu since the adjacent kitchen door is useless and the sofas are now very Ikea-ish. Even the bathroom went through the refurbishing phase giving a serene look to the whole set-up. Oxford Street's getting busier by the second. Whatmore since today's Bank Holiday Monday. Yes, the English summer is just around the bend but most of the ladies decided to embrace its cometh a lil' bit sooner. I'm getting like, 80-120 fixtures of cleavage per day. With today being a personal coldest day at 12 degrees, they must be starking mad. Crazysexycool.

The city's chilling madness is toned down a notch or two by HMV's brilliant, scorchingly tempting offer. You can mix & match any 3 from truckloads of selected CDs and DVDs for 18 quids! Bloody brilliant aye? Sadly, I lost my libido for CD hunting as soon as I set foot in the store. So for those of you who's willing to fork out RM126 for all Sigur Ros' releases (except for Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do, remixes and B-sides) let me know instantly coz' the offer's good for a limited period only. I'm still cracking my head for souvenirs. I've found only one for someone so far. There's like, 8 others. Maybe Hamley's can save me the worry but I'm too lazy to walk all the way to Regent Street. Especially in this wheather.

Ibu's planning to pay a visit to Madamme Tussaud's tomorrow with Mik and Chu. Me and the sibs might headover to Camden Town for t-shirts and also commence 'Operation Pimo Invasion' around the city. Hopefully I won't get arrested for this.

This is Part 1 of, something. There may be a Part 2 or maybe not.

Have a nice day.

Adieu

2006-05-27T02:12:00.000+08:00

Ok folks.

Off to London in about 10 hours time.

A lot happened between then and now.

Will indulge once I'm online again.

Bye-bye, Malaysia.

See ya in 10 days.

Dewan Pusaka

2006-05-17T21:26:00.000+08:00

I knew beforehand that today's going to be a long one but I never expected it to last that long.

I woke up at 6 so that we could avoid the bumper-to-bumper traffic (and hopefully score a parking spot). It's my 2nd trip to the Federal House (opposite The High Court Of KL, en route to Dataran Merdeka) ever since this whole harta pusaka fiasco came about. The local municipal hall (DBKL) has been a prominent fix in the daily ramblings of my family as far as I could remember. Give and take, talks of the lands of Kg. Baru being taken over by the governement has marked its 25th year last month. This year, it's good to go.

Things get complicated when rightful heirs are scattered all over the nation (not to mention over the Causeway too). There's forms to sign, oaths to be taken, court proceedings to be attended and all that family drama expectations. It's around this time that I get to delve into the 'deep, dark family secret' more freely simply because; they couldn't help talking about it.

So we scored a spot, had breakfast and I was left alone at the cafe. I couldn't be bothered with the hearing anyways. Oh, guess what? I finally found a place to rival the awesomeness of Idaman's Teh O Ais. It's damn near perfection. Only lacking in the texture department. But it's a surefire thirst quencher nonetheless. It was around 9 when Papa Mok sat with me at the table and had our idle chit chat. Again, like visiting Papa Talib, it felt extremely awkward. I was concurring most of the time while he did all the talking. I need to start working on my adult-people skills. Pronto.

After 6 drinks, it was finally over. It was lunch hour but I wasn't hungry. Transited at Mik's place, managed to finish a movie (Shopgirl), then off back to home.

There's a chance that Ibu might fly to Singapore on Monday. Babysitting, again. This whole harta pusaka affair is going to be around for a while. I'm not hoping for a piece of the pie, but if it's mine to be, alhamdulillah. Right now I;m contented bearing the title of "4th Generation of Kg. Baru's Settlers". Ok, it made me sound like a part of the mafia family.

I guess my fatigue was a result of oversleeping. Can't help it. It's a luxury I can't afford to waste. Champions League finals tonight. Wehuu~~

Hey ho~

2006-05-15T21:09:00.000+08:00

When Robert Smith sang about being in love on Fridays, I thought he was being autobiographical.

Well I guess he's not.

I've always looked forward to Fridays because good things are bound to happen. Fits its calling card as the peghulu segala hari. Fridays are so refreshing. It's a start to a weekend and also an end to dull, mundane routines. To sum it up, last Friday turns out to be memorable.

Akim's quran class was cancelled so I had a pretty good start for the day. Woke up at 9. Heh. Channel surfed, did some laundry, had lunch then off Papa Talib's crib. For those of you who read the news, there's an article about a RMAF training aircraft pulling an emergency landing in a paddy field somewhere in Alor Star. It was him. Thank god he escaped from the ordeal unscathed. He was ecstatic to see us even with the absence of Ibu. I felt weird. I felt so, 'pakcik'. It felt like a huge block slumping on my back being the head of the family for the visit. Geez. Got a text post-Friday prayers from Pojam saying he's coming with Akak. Yay. They lugged me off the back seat and we jet to Idaman for that oh-so-splendid teh o ais. Heard someone hollering my name amidst the soon-to-be-pouring rain. It was dear 'ol Danial. He's on a long holiday as well. Goodie.

It was also the band's practice session that day. The Casio was already with me a few days prior so Akak can't help her twitching fingers and played on a bunch of gorgeous riffs I'd only dream of hearing let alone making. For fans out there, expect Furniture's next release to be a killer. Start saving! Something interesting happened when we were toying around with the new song while waiting for Bob to arrive. Akak and Pojam were playfully fiddling with the KAOSS pad that ignited a spark of rush. It gell with the song! Golly good. We might even call them up as guest features for upcoming shows. Heh. Later that night I went out with Akim to 15's Uptown in search of his 'komunis' cap. They don't stock his size so to ease the upset, I treated him to a of bucket fries in Darus. It's nice to really talk to him once in a while. He is surprising. No one can really tell what's underneath that matured facade. There's a part of him that's still Akim -the baby of the family- and there's this part of him that's boldly Fahim; the intelligent observer of life. Of course, the 8 years gap between us can be an issue but I try my best to put that aside and really let him express himself. Unlike me, he's really lucky to have a whole lotta love from a brother. And he's the only one I got.

Saturday came as welcomed as any other day. It's a day of relief, a day of momentary pause from reality. My Saturday was very kind. I woke up rather early and washed the fans. It wasn't much of hassle but the one in the kitchen was such a bitch. It was literally coated with cooking oil and other greasy stuff. Took me close to an hour just to clean the cage alone. I dozed on the living room's floor so soundly that I didn't even realize Ibu's homecoming. Had a lovely dinner with Akim at Radhi Corner then headed home. It was a very kind day indeed.

Mother's Day was swell. The kids made Ibu a chocolate cake (real chocolate. used Cadbury's Dairy Milk. Yumm!). She was very happy with it and we were so pleased that she did. Kak Ati called up for lunch at her place a few minutes earlier than Azhar's phone call about Syamil's invite to his brother's majlis bersanding. Bob and Majin hitched me a ride and we got there by 3 after we lost our way to Bukit Jelutong. We had loads of fun yakking with each other that we didn't realize that the caterers were packing the tables! Paid a visit to Mokh's new studio (he took over Pentatonic Studios) and boy are we eager to crank up the volumes there this week. Can't wait!

Well, my 'bus driver' hours are cut to half today since Ibu had to go somewhere in the afternoon. Had tea with Mimi at Pelita and chit chatted like the 'ol days. It was a lovely evening for a drive. Having her in the seat beside me was even lovelier. We should do this often.

.....and guess what? I found a basic for 2 new songs!

Oh, Friday, I love you.

Vroom Vroom

2006-05-11T00:11:00.000+08:00

I think I'm getting used to this late nights out. The parents are surprisingly hush about it. Appreciate the freedom, folks.

I don't know what sparked it, but my driving has been increasingly daring these days. It's not reckless, just speedy with extra caution and elaborate brooding confidence when slamming the accelerator. Perhaps it was the Waja. She loves me as much as I love her.

The events that flowed after last Sunday made me realize that I do have another life to live and share. I'm taking slow steps on this, so bare with me. It's not easy walking away freely after spending your whole life slumping in your little cubicle. Well, hanging out with Bono and Alia in Alam Sentral Syed's last night was sufficiently, necessarily relieving. Bono had sooo many tittle-tattle tales that it left me and Alia in sticthes. The fries was fantabulous, and so were the vibe.

The parents are leaving for Dungun tomorrow throughout the weekend which means 'babysitting' is the routine and missing the Soundscapes gig in KLPAC is the loss for the week. Haih. But the upside of that is that the house is parent-free, and I can host for the band's practice on Friday. Speaking of which, we're doing ok I guess. The new song that we're working on is having its bumps but still manageable and after that we'll work on this ditty that Bob has been toying around with since his last band. There's been talk about us recording again this year-end. It'll be a proper EP with probably 6 songs in it. I so need to start saving for the damage of that.

Hmm. Money. One thing I hate about holidays is that I've no strong reason to ask for extra cash since my allowance is -well, not on holiday. But it's neeeverrr enough. Then came En. Musawwir, the Head Teacher of my alma matter. He offered me a sub position in the faculty teaching either Geography or Arts. The pay is damn tempting. RM 29 per hour. The thing is I'm not much of a teacher. But the pay, the pay! Geez. And Ibu really seems eager on me taking up the job. I'm still considering it. If I say yes, it'll be Geography and after the London trip. Hmm. Cikgu Farhan. Has a nice ring to it actually. Heh.

So that's it. Give me a buzz if you wanna hang. The Waja's all mine from tomorrow.

And there were one...

2006-05-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

I would apologize for the long hiatus, but I simply won't.

The semester ended on an optimistic note. Everyone was tad sad about possibly being together for the last time but one could not overshadow the brooding, tingling sense of freedom this holiday's about to offer. The DIA batch of June'03- May '06 will soar to great heights. Me? My hunt for a room/house-to-rent is yet to commence, but I'll get there soon. "Getting there" is something I wish I could say with confidence given the deep, academical shit I'm in. Educated virgin my foot.

As to eradicate the slight sigh of negativity, it's good to know that I've a surplus of grounds to cover this 2 long months. Weekend gigs are gaining a steady momentum on quality, which happens to be a much-needed boost for everyone's morale. I know it's only been two days, but I dare say this season is a joy of wonders.

Then that makes yesterday, an essay of reasons.

Travelling across the state kinda gave me the jetlag effect. Even worse. Slept at 5. Set the alarm so I won't miss the gang's convoy to KL. Well, it didn't go off 'cause I woke up earlier than I hoped. All thanks to Amjad who plunged on my back while I was dreaming of a magical summer in Azerbaijan. Thank god he's only 7, and my back is still concrete-like. So around noon I pulled a cab to Azhar's, chatted with his mom, toying around with his Casio then we're off to galeriiizu.

What attracts me to Alia's (a fellow campusmate, not to be confused with The Alia. The Alia will be mentioned as "Akak" as from this announcement onwards) ~~Ferrari~~ Mazda was the registration plate. MG **** Q. Very 'oummphh'. She came along with her cousin Shikin and of course, the bubbly Bono. The gallery was having its (weekly? monthly? annual?) Sunday Art Lelong Event (cleverly, S.A.L.E) and as a virgin to such engagements, I must say I felt at peace. Well yeah, the gallery itself was no stranger since the last time I was there was for Arty Party but to actually experince a contemporary, breezy art sale/exhibition, it made me crave for more. It was a blessing in actuality that I didn't withdraw my last 50 bucks prior or i would blow it all on the stuffs on sale and then knock my head later on for my 'borosness'. All in all I managed 3 spanking stickers from Bangkit!, two freebie stickers from Carbon Tees and Robots Will Kill (thanks Bob) and a cutboard-cutout, robot-themed flyer from Mumoo.

Azhar and me transit-ed back at his place before heading to JamAsia (yet again, I was there only last week) for Art To Hear. We arrived early, which was brilliant since I've always liked arriving to gigs as early as soundchecks. It's a habit, really. Gives you an idea of what to expect. Holler-ed the boys of Teenage Glory and Deepset before heading to Chili's with the girls for tea. As soon as I planted my arse on the flood up-front, the gig kicked off to a glorious start thanks to Sunway College's Indo boys Lightcraft for their superb blend of alternative pop rock (sung heartmelting-ly in English). Potential is an understatement. Kudos to Adib for discovering them. Their set was brief but nonetheless sweet. The frontman's rock-out poses seemed infectious. Next up was the 'lampu lap-lip'-ness of Teenage Glory For The Wasted. See, these lot of closet comedians churns out songs that seems to be a hybrid of EITS and Mogwai (evidently on Myth Murder and Marshmallow) so in the view of my 'eclectic' self, they're decently good. But their slot proved me otherwise. Wayyyy otherwise. Yakutake Awekening was the band flipping the other side of their post-rock coin with brilliant dynamics and killer arrangements that left everyone in awe. Then came the collosal, post-war eerieness of Baitulmaqdis. Sequencing the beats with FruityLoops, the band lineup shifted awkwardly with Arez on bass, Nik on guitar and Farid manning his Yamaha keyboard leaving only Zack pulling off a David Gilmour ala A Saucerful Of Secrets. It was the most visually imaginable sonic assault by any band for the night. Arguably the hottest post-rock outfit at the moment, Deepset had JamAsia packed with eager fans (notably Irman of KLPHQ) yearning the sounds of their cosmic lullabies. 3 songs were executed including a newbie but not my personal fave, Capture - Of Polaroids And Stills. I was glad that the crowd was tagging along with my earlier chants of encore and forcing them to bow to the power of the masses. Acad saw my plea and they plugged back and jangled to the ringing melancholy of Capture.

Fathul was the oldest dude on the bill. Making waves with his latest project, Fathulistiwa Soundscapes, they're arguably one of the highly-anticipated bands for the show. Everyone was befuddled as it was only him and the drummer showed up on stage. With the rest of the bands having exams, he pulled a twisted DFA with only a vocal and loud-as-hell drumbeats.It took them 2 songs and it was over. Personally, it was a commendable, novelty act but with every possibility to be even more exciting. The only time I ever saw They Will Kill Us All was back in Pyramid when Latte was still around. There's been nothing but praises for them ever since. To witness them live was something that I looked forward to. Nobody expected the prowess of the band that superb. And it was sans vocals (!) since Fizul can't make it. Edwin and co. took charge making themselves heard of what they're really made of. It's unanimously agreed by everyone that if TWKUA chose to fly under the wings of post-rock galore, every existing band will be threaten to extinction. Menakutkan. Fresh from a long break, Telebury ignited my long-lost love for indie songs with their slick new tunes. Being the headliner for the gig, they lashed out 8 wet-dream ditties much to everyone's delight. Edan was very Jonny Greenwood-ish with his modified Telecaster/Firebird and the arsenal of effects he toyed with.

It was lovely how the night ended, and how the early morning was greeted. Meeting people is never easy for me but they were kind, funny souls. Clearly the happiest man of the hour was Adib. It was his organizing debut. Everything went well, the turnout was surprisingly good despite being held on a late Sunday night. Bob, me, Alia and Bono shooed to Mosin after the 'after party' at Uncle Don for a moment of soberity. We talked crap, made wobbly jokes, drank our drinks and we split like when the school bell rang. It was 5 in the a.m. Penat gila babi.

There. A nice update of my absence.

Say sorry? I simply won't.

::Random::

2006-04-02T04:09:00.000+08:00

I guess I'm really good at one thing after all; giving false hopes in abundant.

I'm beginning to hate crowded places even more than a stinking restroom. I'm beginning to hate the feeling of longing even more than the feeling of not belonging. I'm beginning to hate this with straight-up passion. I'm beginning to lose it all.

This is my state of emergency.

O, Draconian Devil! Oh, lame saint!

2006-04-01T12:55:00.000+08:00

Didier Dambrin (or widely known as Gol), the genesis behind the juicy brilliance of Fruity Loops said it best in his own words on Sonar and Cubase:

"They are classics. You know, like books, that you wished you had read, but don't want to read. They're the ones that are supposed be used, but are too scary because of their complexity, and you don't really 'want' to learn them. So if you don't actually have to learn them, it's hard to start, and I never dared to."

I call it the There-Goes-The-Ego Syndrome or simply, the Get Go. Curiosity is one of men's best virtues despite its shortcomings but it tends to be whisked away when men's ego is suddenly under the impression of being tested. Those who're infected with this, tends to wane it out rather than rise up to the challenge since it will make them boldly vulnerable to these 'attacks' and be casted as an average, testosterone-fuelled modern-day male. It keeps the cool and enigma intact. But like every disease, there's always a cure. In the case of this syndrome, time is truly of the essence of it. You'll wake up someday realizing a piece of a puzzle is missing in you and you might never find it again. It's a longing feeling as if you need to satisfy your lifelong thirst. The puzzle must be completed.

Somehow the same feeling resonated in me when I saw a copy of Dan Brown's much-lauded Da Vinci's Code neatly tucked in Zeid's bottom dresser.

Prior to this, I've 'evaded' several 'incidents' that is potentially giving away the content of the whole book (a common Get Go symptom) without even reading it. The TV documentary, the dedicated blogs, the talks amongst cliques and all sorts of things you could imagine. That evasion almost led me to evading the book itself.

Picking it up out of boredom and a need to be occupied (read: awayyy from the text books), I can't seem to bring myself to pull a bookmark and catch a breather as the rush of it all was far beyond astounding. Like having your most wanted birthday presents if I should say so. I was more than halfway through when this ancient passage that was the foundation of the Grail legend made yours truly smirked in full conviction.

Vous ne trouves pas le Saint-Graal, c'est le Saint-Graal qui vous trouve

Or in translation,

You do not find the Grail, the Grail finds you

Well, true enough. The book somehow found me.

To praise Brown as a master at his craft is a total overstatement. Unless it is referred to his well-knitted way of compiling and documenting things. Apart from the usual character-driven drama that made things some sort of an escapism into instant reality, what he presented was not a story of revelation of sorts, he just brought the already-present tale to the most accessible platform known to man; books. And for that, he should be labeled as a curator than an author. A worthy, creditable effort, nonetheless. The concept of faith is historic and -referring a term commonly known to my course mates- a going-concern. One should never question one's faith for as generic as a religion is, faith is an entity deeply rooted from a person's past experiences. So to question or not the extent of truth featured in the novel, it's a lifetime quest best be put on hold.

By incorporating the meticulous usefulness of the Fibonacci Sequence as an intricate weave of sparks that inspired the many turning points in this novel, it's a surefire no-brainer why the piece received so many enigmatic-laden praises the world over. As it is as interesting as the Divine Proportion, the Atbash Cipher, the Iambic Pentameter and all sorts of amazing findings, nothing caught my fancy more than the novel's heart. That is, of the sacred feminine.

It's a given fact that women is behind -and beside- every man's success. But it never did occur to what origins that the old adage spewed from. Highly unlikely but most probably, not until the unveiling of Da Vinci's original layer of paint of his famous fresco, The Last Supper. The discovery of Mary Magdelene at the right hand of Jesus might just be the explanation if not the correct conclusion.

When the true form of male (an upside down V) and female (the alphabet V) symbols are explained, so many things occurred to me. I'll use the novel's exact wordings to explain the symbols:

"This symbol (the upside down V) is the original icon for male. A rudimentary phallus. This icon is formally known as the blade, and it represents aggression and manhood. In fact, this exact phallus symbol is still used today on modern military uniform to denote rank."

"The female symbol as you might imagine, is the exact opposite. This is called the chalice. It resembles a cup or vessel, and more importantly, it resembles the shape of a woman's womb. This symbol communicates feminity, womanhood, and fertility."

It somehow explains to me why Venus is regarded as the goddess and why the zodiac sign Virgo is often simbolized by an image of a female. The letter V itself acts as the ancient sign in our modern time.

Apart from the mentioned military denotation, I saw other things in tune with that. Either by luck or a dumb struck, you be the judge.

Notice how virtually every household in the world is built? Yes, the roofs. Even considering the basic logic of gravity which could only be allowed by such architectural design, the roofs are in the similar shape of the ancient symbol for male. The rudimentary phallus. The blade. Further enforcing the possibility of the origin of another tired and true phrase, 'man of the house'. Also, as it was claimed that Constantine the Great was a lifelong pagan (he was said to be baptized on his deathbed, too week to protest. Chose Christianity as the official religion for he was afraid of the possible divide of Rome) that infused old pagan beliefs into the growing Christian tradition, it wouldn't hurt to say that the church's roof structure is of the same effect to a certain point. His then brilliant move somehow reminded me of the now in-hiding Ayah Pin who might possibly attempted to pull the same act but as we all knew, failed miserably.

Somehow I found another wild connection to this.

During the supreme height of the Sultany of Malacca (probably to this very day albeit in different forms), Tanah Melayu is divided into two customs, the Temenggong and the Pepatih. As we all know, the former is widely practiced not only in Malacca, but every state else in the country and the latter belongs exclusively to Negeri Sembilan.

Here's the fun part.

The Pepatih custom is and always will be associated with the Minangkabau. The custom is concerned with the supremacy and just of the female rather than the male where a woman elder is in charge of everything political and is subjected to royal-like treatments. Much like the organizational chart of a beehive. Back then, the men had no qualms of this practice and seemingly content and celebrative of the entire custom. The prominent presence of the Minangkabau is felt most dominantly in its architectural trademark. Its roof to be precise. It is made as so, if it were to be looked closely from one end to the other -regardless of its frontal triangular feature-, that a certain familiar shape will surface. Yes, the ancient female sign. The V. The chalice. The vessel. The 'wildness' of this connection is not entirely a spontaneous reaction as I remembered learning the fact that before the arrival of Islam, most of the occupants in Tanah Melayu was practicing pagan-leaning teachings if not the ways of the pagan itself. And by coupling it into the Pepatih custom, it really showed how the men who came up with the structure's concept, was fully aware of the same phrase that echoed in the novel.

White gives birth to black
Every man sprang from woman

With these findings, it somehow strengthens the theory presented in the book. I'm not really entirely with the whole concept nor I remember being doubtful about it, it just feels 'appropriate'. Am I being biased? I couldn't find a reason to do so. Another passage in the novel tingled my senses with excitement. It was in my opinion, an ultimatum summation on history itself.

"History is always written by the winners. When two cultures clash, the loser is obliterated and the winner writes the history books which glorify their own cause and disparage the conquered foe. As Napoleon once said, 'What is history, but a fable agreed upon?'. By its very nature, history is always a one-sided account."

It made a clear sense if not a perfect one. It seemed that the claim that was made on the sacred feminity being demonized by the Church -and followed by a two-millennia cover up- provided the best question to the above summation of an answer. As it was mentioned, the two thousand years that spanned from the time of Christ's birth was the astrological Age Of Pisces (an ideal belief that man must be told what to do by the higher powers because man is incapable of thinking for himself) and so it seems that now we are in the Age Of Aquarius (whose ideals claim that man will learn the truth and be able to think for himself). The brief period between these two ages is referred to as the End Of Days, which is commonly known as the end of the world. The Apocalypse (a misconception as suggested in the book). Somehow, it caused a funny stir. In layman terms, males have been trying precariously to eradicate female influence and to an extreme; existence from the realms of this world (partially explaining the Jahilliyah Arabs' practice of burying their female infant alive) but yet, an old saying that goes 'if there is a surplus of females than that of males, the world is nearing its end' seemed to be the most fitting irony ever. Another thing that got me innocently chuckling was when I read this:

"Hieros Gamos had nothing to do with eroticism. It was a spiritual act. Historically, intercourse was the act through which male and female experienced God. The ancients believe that the male was spiritually incomplete until he had carnal knowledge of the sacred feminine. Physical union with the female remained the sole means through which man could become spiritually complete and ultimately achieve gnosis. Knowledge of the divine. Since the days of Isis, sex rites had been considered man's only bridge from earth to heaven. By communicating with woman man could achieve a climactic instant when his mind went totally blank and he could see God."

When I read the lines of '......intercourse was the act through which male and female experienced God', I chuckled not out of pornographic reference, but of a common understanding that can be seen in none other than pornographic materials itself. Notice it yet? The "Oh God!"s is most evident. Even an extend of condoning the "Yes!" after each orgasmic act as a sign of 'experiencing God' couldn't mean any harm as it is physiologically-proven that the male climax was accompanied by a split second entirely devoid of thought. A brief mental vacuum. A moment of clarity during which God could be glimpsed. The very nature of sex itself was misconceived as this is the fact that was laid.

"The ancients' view of sex was entirely opposite from ours today. Sex begot new life. The ultimate miracle. The ability of the women to produce life from her womb made her sacred. Intercourse was the revered union of the two halves of the human spirit -male and female- through which the male could find spiritual wholeness and communion with God. The Hieros Gamos ritual is not a perversion. It's a deeply sacrosanct ceremony."

Then, a thought came to me. Could it be that today's advanced cloning technology be a part of the occurrence of the Age Of Aquarius? Have the truth of the ultimate miracle been learned and that man is already more than able to think for himself?

Instantly a sudden, gripping notion surfaced. If it is so, would men one day suffer the same fate as the Knights Templar on Friday the 13th? Only one logical explanation supports that theory; Kiamat. The Judgment Day.

Closing the last page of this sprawling piece of literature, I realized something wickedly hilarious. A question was raised on why the truth and theory -after being much told through famous publications- aren't widely known to the masses? The answer was:

"These books can't possibly compete with centuries of established history, especially when that history is endorsed by the ultimate bestseller of all time. The Bible."

The wicked part was realizing the potential in that statement. If the world we live now is indeed the new age, than the Da Vinci's Code is the new Bible.

Wait, how did the book turned out?

Oh yeah, It's a #1 New York Times Bestseller.

*It was never my intention to ride on any shotgun when I began writing this. It is not to champion anything of any sort. It is not a bunch of statements but only opinions that are not in the vein of questioning the unquestionable -faith- nor this is meant to encourage the shift of it. I am the least articulate being on the planet to be discussing of this matter of celestial scales. I only did this because I can. And to add, I am unfortunately against the making of it on to the silver screen because the only best visual potrayal of the whole affair is best be done the HBO way a la Rome. Excuse the many inaccuracies if discovered in this piece of mind for the only reference made is limited to the mentioned novel and recollections of past events and experiences. Criticism is the mightiest pen and I'm the open book.

Of Nights Of Smeared Minds

2006-03-24T15:16:00.000+08:00

Something obnoxiously shocking struck me while watching Birth. I am not of what I am capable of.

Reality is a nightmare. And I've been having nightmares about reality for the past week.

#1

Suddenly I was in a carnival. Subconsciously gliding through the packs of people in my consciousness. There's so many familiar faces. Of those who've passed and those from the past. We laughed and laughed. But the company of the ones I'm with at present is nowhere near and something told me they're somewhere far. I got asphyxiated. At a drop of a hat I felt like everything's collapsing into a black dot. My screaming was deafening but it was to no avail. I died.

#2

I was pushing myself off a cliff. In an instant I lost all sense of reason, plunged into the ridge feeling guilty of self-treason. I woke up in the desert feeling nauseous and wishing. Wishing it was real. Wishing it is.

#3

A friend was being chased by some serial butcher in an old abandoned barn somewhere in the Mid West. I tried to keep up with him but every time I do so I ended up trailing behind the butcher, like an accomplice as he did nothing when he saw me. Seeing the open window, I tried my best to knock the living hell out of him but every time I do so I was back to square one. Trying to keep up. It ended up with me being murdered. By both.

#4

Sitting on an empty bench in a busy mall. First it was this sobbing kid, about 5 or so, came up and sit right next. We talked. Mostly about him. Trying to ease the tension, I got him laughing in stitches in no time but something in his laughter tells me that he is not who he claimed to be. He left abruptly and said, 'time is always yours when you make them'. The bench was empty with me again. Then came this bloke who might be slightly older than me. With a tumbler in one hand and an old newspaper in the other. His manner of conduct is something to be amazed at. From his tiny, warm gestures with his hands to the way he pays attention to every single word you said. Almost child-like. He left when I was looking in the other direction. I looked up, saw this old gent waiving his cap in an odd fashion. He asked if I could accompany him on his way to the shoe store. I obliged. He did most of the talking. Wait, he was the one talking. I just nodded and wondered just how far is this shoe store? But he caught my attention when he started mentioning about meeting this particular young man, sitting alone on a bench when he was a kid. That young man made him feel better of himself and instilled a sense of fear in him that he will forever be greatful for. Fear of nothingness. Then he said he met him again when he was slightly older than my age. If the meeting didn't take place, he wouldn't be walking right now. He wouldn't be here at all. Said he saw a reason to keep on living in the young man's eyes. I was speechless. Befuddled. Bewildered. Then all of a sudden he stopped. Right where we started. At the same bench. He said my shoe's are untied. I did them, but he was gone as I got up. I slumped back on the empty bench. Alone and lonely. Suddenly everyone in the mall, as if being hypnotized, started to mutter something familiar. I ran like no tomorrow when I finally made up what they said:

"Time is always yours when you make them."

I woke up from every dream like getting out of the cinema when the credits rolled, and came across these summations:

#1 - I'm afraid of losing you, you and the rest of you.

#2 - Sometimes you just have to know when to quit even when quitting is a part of you. I am a quitter. I want to quit being one.

#3 - When there's no one waiting for you in between the mad rush of to and fro, you really are nothing in between everything and anything.

#4 - There's still no 'you' in you and me. There's still time. Yet it won't stay still.

No, nothing can be simply dignified based on those. But it did somehow change the way I see things now. For as long as it lasts, perhaps. Who could tell? Yes, You can make time and claim them yours, but you can't have them back.

I guess my life's the same.

Biarlahhhh!!

2006-03-14T17:33:00.000+08:00

My leading hesitance almost caused me a great deal. Had I chose not to go on with it, I'll be knocking on heaven's door for another chance. For another weekend.

The rumor mill has it that we're most likely to have the AIS test on Friday which is a bitch since my weekend home trip's disrupted abruptly. It's Custom Daisy's last show before they kick the bucket and I wouldn't want to be the kid who 'never experienced the excellent grittiness of Custom Daisy'. Also rocking the show is Akta Angkasa (!!!). Akak will also be there so it's good for us to 'lepas rindu'. Heh. On Wednesday night, all worries were thrown away for a fun-filled, whimsical dinner with the lecturers. An hour prior to the event, Ikmal texted me that I am to rush to his room to help them out with the closing montage. See, I don't mind favours. But who in their right mind would approve one in the 11th hour? It was sickening. Annoying to be exact. But as always, I gave in. I'm just relieved that it wasn't a filler if not a killer. Most of us lived up to the Aloha theme and I must say some of them took it a lil' bit off with donning a Bienda-like garb. It was no Anugerah Bintang Popular, girls. Everyone was happy throughout the night. The food was awesome (Thousand Islands Dressing!!), the performance was entertaining, but what made it a night for me was the photo session I had with my classmates. We took bucket loads of 'em with every possible pose. Every possible angle. Even managed to snap one with Cik Marina and our Bapak, En. Razak. We were in fact, slightly concerned with the test since there's no confirmation on where and when. Fortunately En. Zool came for the event, Afiq asked, we were ecstatic. The bar is now absent.

But why was I hesitant even after the good news?

Yes, I wanted to head home the following weekend since it's Ibu's 46th on Friday.

Yes, despite the obligatory Pre-Executive Workshop on Saturday.

Yes, going back two times in a hectic row spells 'eternal financial death row'.

Yes, I was very hesitant.

Then, after much thought and endless persuasion from Zhaf, I packed and we're back on KL's soil by Thursday evening. Nazirah gave me a call while we were snacking in Cahaya Suria. Says that she needs someone to tag along with her for a zine fest on Saturday to promote The Genuine Mind, the zine I'm writing for.

Again, I was hesitant.

Why would I be since it's my chance to finally meet her and give her surprise, belated b-day present?

Why would I be since I can finally see the fruits of my written labor?

Told her that I'll get back to the invite soon. I need to put my mind at ease. Something needs reshuffling. I still have to consider Telephony Delivery's jamming session. It's been a month since. I came to a point of deciding that I'll just sleep the weekend away and hop on the bus back to campus first thing Sunday morning.

Then a revelation surfaced while I was having supper with the boys on Friday. The zine fest and the gig are one and the same. Super.

Azhar picked me up around 4 then we headed to Adib's while waiting for Alijo and Joe. Adib and me acoustic-jammed to ol' local songs killing time while Azhar thought it'd be better to doze off on the sofa. We split after rounds of karipaps (sedappp) and iced teas. Danial told Akak told me that bands will start making noises by 6 but by the time we arrived there, it was 6:30 and it was dead silent. We headed straight to the foyer to take a peek at what's on sale. I had my eyes (and ears) on Blood On Wedding Dress' EP for the longest time, but my shoestring budget won't allow such thought. Heard their stuff on Myspace and I'm impressed enough to claim that they're Custom's successor with an extra edge. Met Nazirah. Along with JR and Kak Suraya (friendly peeps). It's kinda flattering that the column I shared with Hafeez was a centre-fold. Minutes after, I felt a vibe of a familiar silhouette. It was Pojam, and Akak (!). With no proper ventilation whatsoever, the foyer was oven-hot so we sat at the benches by the lake. I was laughing hard with Azhar about Azmir (we miss you, man) then another familiar vibe (and voice) greeted us. Bono in her purple army jacket and Anita Sarawak-ish pout. Followed her to the cafe at the back. Adib was there with Apik and Aji. Round of teh ais, then headed back to the benches, Danial was already there chatting with Akak and Pojam. They took their turn for drinks and we sorta look out the seats for them. Heh. There was barely a slight breeze and the already-increasing crowd's almost prompted me to sing "It's Getting Hot In Hereee" out loud. Then another familiar vibe ensued. It was Faiz and his wifey, Nadia. It's been ages since we met and he seemed shocked to learn that I've now a steady band and even more when Azhar sold him a copy of our demo/promo. Yeah, we sold quite a handful. Mostly from Adib. Azhar traded a copy with Acad of Deepsetjoy with their promo CD. Their live recording sounded awesome compared to their live set back at Arty Party.

By 8:30, a collective of masked, apparatus-banging dudes started the ball rolling. They're Akta Angkasa's posse and some of them were seniors in campus. I remember liking the marauding glitches that they made. If someone back in the days of Jalan Ampas would ever think of producing a post-modern horror flick, their exploits could suit the soundtrack best. I noticed Shuz from Artik quitely observing the whole set with Smek beside her. I've been wanting to talk to her in person ever since I started 'online-stalk' her last year. She has that certain 'something'. I enjoyed her writings, adored the photos she took and befuddlingly amazed at her camera collection. One single chance came blowing my way during Arty Party. I was with Syamil when they chit chatted. I just smiled. Heh. Ah well, there's always another place, another gig.

The floor stage was haphazardly scattered with various flyers and brochures from god knows where. There's even 2 print outs of Zul's final project. And not forgetting his bible-like notebook right next to his arsenal of effects. It was visually, vintage Akta Angkasa even with the absence of their signature tool, the mad-flash light bulb. Everyone knew of their rep as a hardly digestible outfit when it comes to their half hour-long sound checks but that night it was replaced by Zul's impulsive rants. Channeling his frustrations towards the band's backstabbing detractors and ignorant, unappreciative audience. It was a very brave and bold move. It took them 3 jump starts caused by; as paraphrasing Zul, 'technical fault coupled with mechanical jealousy' before the band sailed to yet another astounding set of their own calibre. Despite their ethereal, envelope-pushing sonic exploits, their strong suit really lies on the songs intelligent arrangements. And it's best to enjoy their set sitting down. Stunning. In all that audible madness, they somehow found a way to the silver lining. A way to the hearts of many. Mine included. Ever since we shared stage back in December, I'm sold on them. Never before have a song made me cry, but their closing song, Lebah Di Pujangga Shah Alam did just that. It was disturbingly melancholic, enticingly sad and at times superficially beatific. That set marked their 1st year anniversary. Here's to many, many, many more.

Next up was the moshpit prowess of Custom Daisy. Seeing Irman on 2nd guitar was a surprise indeed. Akak got all 'gedik', laughing 'malu-malu kuching' at his sight. Haha. Smek was supposed to be on vocals but then he was away somewhere so Palie of ET had to be the 'plunging midwife' for 3 songs. It was exhilirating. I didn't join in the pit, but the intensity was felt everywhere. Adib, with his sling bag, moshed with full madness. It was clear that he was having so much fun. He was laughing all the way! Ihsan was like a breathing, living drum machine. His expression was priceless: straight! I headbanged into oblivion when Ishak struck the chords to Collision Cause, my all-time favourite. Fucking suicide. Ending their last set before disbanding, they bowed out with aplomb, living a slew of imitators still looking for that right blend of chaos and brilliance only Custom Daisy knows how.

I stayed for a while for Cynic 19's slot. These Japs are heavily influenced by the Japanese Trash Revolution. Their brand sounded more rock 'n roll than trash though. But they're enjoyable nonetheless. Too bad that they played after Custom. They don't stand a chance to win the crowd's leftover energy.

Met Pa'an Kecik, Adam and his friends. They bought our demo/promo too. Heh. It was already 11 so we had to be off since our session at Rhythmix's at 12. Still, we snapped a handful of photos with the boys of Teenage Glory For The Wasted. Funny lot.

Our 2 hour session was tiring. We're still pretty much exhausted from the gig. Thank god it wasn't a waste. Since we've been receiving good reviews for a Fletcher oldie, I Sushi You My King, it's decided for it to be reshuffled and be made less redundant by not repeating any parts at all. After a few adjustments, it's a now a 2-3 minute ditty. A possible working title would be Sushh. Seems appropriate enough. Spent the rest of the hours refining the others and helping out Bob with his bass lines 'cause he missed the last session. Lepak-ed at Al-Fasilah for supper. Bumped into Acap and Reza of Grape. They were all smiles and joy since the band's recording their EP due this October. Downloaded their single and it's good stuff. Fareez is a star in the making. His voice has matured in all the right places.

So after visiting the grands and aunts the next day, off to campus, had leftovers in the room, bunked and dozed.

I was glad that I went against my will. I was glad I did it.

A weekend. End.

Taking Lives/Time

2006-03-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

"Loved being lost. A sign of things. A sign of rebirth. A sign of everything being unearthed. And I lost my way again and again, hoping I wouldn't have to find any other but to just sit still and countdown the end of everything. I loved it. I fucking love being lost."

Well, weekends has never meant anything within the slightest degree of ecstaticness if it were to be spent here in Bote, but the recent one proved to be a sudden, much-sought breather.

Cik Marina has her way with us. Me especially. Her grade school-like approach in teaching seemed to be a winning combo when coupled with her subliminal professionalisme when dealing with important angles in the twisted reality of Taxation. That, may be the sole reason why I find it excruciating to skip her class compared to other subjetcs. It's her tongue-in-cheek gestures, her innocent slip-of-the-tongue blunders and at most of the time; her enthusiastic, Penang slang that made the 11 years gap between us closer by the second.

Yeah, yeah. That's not a weekend scenario. Just a momentary pause. Giving one credit when it's due.

I've never been good at bowling. Together with, every single sport I've played that is. But I'm good at having fun. Like everyone is, up to an extent. So on our way, a pit-stop at Petronas for gas lead me to one of the most eventful event of this year thus far. Met Ibrahim, an old chum, and a few of his (girl)friends. Things were going well 'till I found myself on the ground with one foot stuck in a mini-manhole. I did my best to keep my cool (ouch!). I did. So the boys laughed all the way to Ipoh. They had fun, that's good. So was I.

I tried my hand at snooker. The last time was 2 months ago and I sucked. Like always. Zhaf, Afiq, Mad Nor and Razi took a close 2 hours just to nail a single, miserable frame. Guess they laughed too hard it messes with their sense of balance.

So there we were at the bowling lane. 2 games, 24 frames, and who'd guess I won? 172 pins. Personal best.

Like I said, I've never been good at bowling.

It was already 2 in the A.M when Zhaf and his old bud, Apit got thier snooker round over and done with. The rest of us split hours prior. Exhausted they say. Thinking that getting pass the campus guards is even worse than; campus guards themselves, we called it a day at Apit's place in Taman Cempaka. There was some funny mojo, mumbo jumbo that botherd me and Zhaf. I finally slept soundly at 5.

Woke up at 6. The morning hadn't broken just yet. Saturday's the faculty's Family Tag. I made a promise to be there at 7:30. A promise I intend to keep.

It was pleasing to see every single one of my batch who turned up enjoying themselves. They should. It was our last Tag together. By some idiotic technical fault, we came in 2nd as Overall Runner-Ups. But at least being the champs of the traditional tug-of-war gave us something sweet to munch at.

Yes. That's that. A weekend. End.

Long Time Coming

2006-02-06T17:07:00.000+08:00

Holidays can be the greatest thing that comes around once in a while. Much like having unlimited supplies of Ali Cafe. Hey, whatever works right?

Recently mine came and go. And it's nothing short of blessed contentment. Even with the absence of Ali Cafes (.....need....more...).

Of course, I pre-greeted the whole affair with a slight grunt. I had to spend the first few days of it in Dungun for a cousin's engagement. It's not that I prefer not to go there, it's just timing issues ya know? At least a couple of days at home before anywhere else would be a sufficient pause to the excessive rush in campus. When we arrived, fortunately the rush eased with aplomb. Siti was there. See, when she's around, it's not like I'll be on stalker mode (which clearly explains why there is no photo of her yet) or anything to that effect it's just that she's the best sight for sore, tired eyes. Yes. That simple. We've never even talk yet. Yes. That stupid.

Next up was Azmir's Swiss departure. It felt weird. We're happy for him to leave and pursue his other goals in life. And he's ecstatic that his close buds came to see him off. And that's just it. Everyone was happy. I (potentially all of us) expected for a sob fest once he hugged each and everyone. Or when we're exchanging last words. Or when we were waving at him before he disappered under the gateway passage. But then, nothing. All of us split after that like he was on a weeklong trip to Langkawi. Weird, but somewhat compelling. We're happy for him. That's alright enough.

In between assignments and family time, there's always Telephony Delivery. It's pleasing to finally admit that we're comfortable with our confidence. With Azmir away, we're missing our key instigator. Both me and Adib might be the architects that finishes what we started, Syamil and Azhar are surely the interior designers that make the whole thing appealing but it was Azmir's child-like attentiveness that sparked the birth of every song we wrote. But last week proved that we ourselves are capable of pulling it off on our own. 2 new songs in the space of 2 days sure means something, no? We've been bugged by Bono to jamm at her dad's studio ever since she saw us at Arty Party. We need to give the new tunes a studio test-drive so we chose smoky Saturday night. Sherrin, her (awfully cute) cousin tagged along and sat there in the studio sofa watching us as we unapolegetically abuse their ears with the noise we made. We wrap it up pretty well but not before a photo session with the girls. Heh.

So, my only regret? Not attending Akak's fab lamb chop fest. Timing, timing. Ughh.

Alright. Tests are beckoning. Happy hunting everyone.

I See Your Heart, And I Raise You Mine

2006-01-23T15:41:00.000+08:00

I'm an addict.

I'm addicted to gambling.

Well, it's not gambling per se but yeah. Endless rounds of Royal, Poker and Blackjack grants me the liberty to say so. 8 out of 10 says that I'll be busy shuffling my cards whenever you guys catch me on the phone and the odds are in favour of you. Adding to the fact that Azmi gave me an installer for this spanking Invitational Poker Championship isn't helping things at all. I'm more and more convinced that I could take up Las Vegas by a single call. I'm on a winning streak against the boys that pinning it 'legendary' would be a total understatement. Yes, I'm getting cockier by the minute.

Since we're still on the subject, my life itself is pretty much a poker table. A huge gamble. I keep on throwing the chips in the pot and bid my time 'till the right hand comes along. The house always wins, yes. But that's a bet I'm willing to raise simply because I'm already in this dugout too deep to jump out of it. The only puzzle remains is that, for what it's worth?

Bob came over and kidnapped me for a drink on Friday. It's nice to have that homely vibe once in a while. We had the talks and all. The songs are about to be mastered, both he and Adib are working on the t-shirts and the CD packaging, Syamil's debut with Lucy In The Loo, the two songs I'm working on, the one song Bob had that he wanted me to 'whip my magic' at, possible shows outside the Valley, Azmir's upcoming Swiss departure and the cheapness of food in Perak. Azhar passed me the songs last Saturday and I must say that I'm having mixed feelings about it. Slightly under the wheather that I hoped for. But in the end, it's nice to sink in the fact that "All Was Lost" is a favourite among the ones who have heard it and "June Of July" is at its best interpreted live.

I lost count on how many times have Nazirah and I talked on the phone. It's getting to be on a daily basis it even went to the point of me expecting her call. I'm known to be the least likely person to hold a phone conversation for more than 5 minutes long but with her, it feels like having the gift of gab (with her being the gifted one. Heh). I'm enjoying every second of it.

I'm tagging along with the AC6B's Investment trip to KLSE sometime next month with me being the photographer as my ticket to ride. Gotta grab the IXUS this coming CNY before anyone has their hands on it. I heard one of my step-siblings is planning to bring it along to one of them Euro tours which remind me, we might be heading back to London mid-year. If that's happening, and my lucky stars are in sight, I might arrange something with Azmir for us to meet up and catch a World Cup match. Yeah, it's that time of the year. Soon.

This very own campus is getting positively livelier by the day. With the new regulations 'encouraging' students to gender-socialize more, you'll hardly see any empty spots and vacant paths anywhere. Always filled with laughter and generic, one-sided common sense shared amongst the boys and the girls. I must admit that I'm also having my share of the cake. It might not be the best of views, but the one from my room is the most vibrant of all. It's the busiest joint. It's where the east meets west. It's where cars and bikes hustle and bustle to and fro chasing whatever it is that they're after. It's where you see girls clad in semi-tight/tight/super-tight pants/track bottoms/slacks/jeans (tudung-on or off) strutting their stuff like nobody's business and hey, who's complaining? Even the dining hall's being a common place for eye candies.

See, with all these randomness I'm going through -however few of it- I'm still looking for a firm ground to call home. It's like someone threw me across the table and I can't seem to fall down. I don't want to. I'm pushing further and further 'till I hit the wall. Maybe only then will I be still. Maybe only then will I see the defeat and raise the flag. Maybe only then will I fold my cards.

But, like I said.

I'm addicted to gambling.

Not like this

2006-01-21T21:18:00.000+08:00

Hmm.

It's getting harder these days to easily breathe the air and be contented with what you have and what you own. Even when sometimes you get what you want that turns out to be what you really need. Insecurities have been making a comeback as of late. Knowing that it's infectious is not a pleasant thought at all.

I'm worried about you. The both of you. I am a part of things that turned sour. I am the stone in the middle of the fire. You said everything will be ok but this mangled conscious is ever so worried. I do hope everything is at ease.

I wish you well. The both of you.

I'm worried about you. Your presence in my little space is getting to be a permanent fix. One that I am pleased about. You tried your best being the one you thought you'd be but it's getting hurtful. You tried to be wiser than the ones around you but it's being dreadly rigid. You tried to fly when everyone's crawling but you stumbled and lost your wings. You forgot that I am here to pick you up, you forgot that I am here to help you be you, you forgot that I am here for you.

I wish you well.

I'm worried about you. We talked less lately. We haven't cross paths in weeks. Yet that dream I had was a reminder that there's still something to it in our friendship. I always wished that I could do more. That I always could do better. You've given to me so much that makes giving back, a lifelong pursuit. I can be that shoulder to cry on. I can be that friend to count on. I can be the one you know you whole life.

I wish you well.

This bedrock of mine is cracking every passing minute. It is never my intention for it to be noticed. Not like this.

Record This: A Telephony Delivery

2006-01-08T14:41:00.000+08:00

It doesn't help that your guitar's having the "slippery tune slip" syndrome while recording. Fortunately the whole ordeal was for only two songs.

Being a virgin at this, I was unrelentingly nervous and somewhat tensed at first. It doesn't help either that I'm a pick-less guitarist which kinda compromised the guitar track's clarity. But then again, rounds of air suam, sticks of Cakoi and the room's bomb shelter-like set up, I pulled through decently well.

The whole experience was made easy with Adzwan's breezy, hyper-ish attitude (which, according to Bob, was a different side of him), patiently thumping the keys and clicking the mouse whenever I signalled that I needed another take. He was so breezy that he even curi-curi tulang YM-ing with his "Tercinta". Heh.

"All Was Lost" has now shaped up to be a heartwrenching tune instead of a jiwang-leleh like as we expected. With Azmir leaving us soon, it made it ever the more relevant. It was very understanding of him as well to redo the 1st half of his vocals. He surprised us with his terpendam voice. That man can sing. Azhar also redid his keyboard track and managed to add a few twists making the song a lil' bit longer than its 2 minute length.

Doing "June Of July" was fun. I had the impression of it being the toughest to lay down. Turns out to be the most enjoyable. Syamil's redoing his guitar tracks sometime soon. Personally, between us, he's more proficient than I am and he knows his gear well. It's intimidating talking to him about gear stuffs. What I know is like a can of soda compared to his reservoir-like knowledge. It's a plus point that he's ever helpful for those in need of his assistence.

We head over to Mokh's for Adib's drum tracks. While he was busy shouting at Adzwan adjustng the levels, we were busy having fun with Mokh, taking pictures with his keyboards and sofas. It was kinda a smoothsail for Adib. He's good with metronome. We wrapped up around 3 in the A.M. Went to Darus for drinks, headed home when everyone was exhausted and Adib -literally- slept on the table. 12 hours of recording will do that to you.

Mixing will take place soon. It's only last week that we played our first gig. I'm still tired. Happy Aidiladha everyone.

Year-End: A Beginning

2005-12-30T17:07:00.000+08:00

I've been having complaints for not updating this space. Been very busy with things (and not doing them at the same time).

The back-and-forth ride to Bota with Mimi and the rest was swell. Which explains how I now have two 'wives'. Pn. Angah and Pn. Tipah. It was a CRV reception. Heh.

After much cursing (the most I did in one day for my whole life) UiTM's ever-idiotic registration system, I finally got through with it. Managed to help others as well.

This might be my last, albeit very short entry for the year. I chose not to recap what the year 2005 means/meant to me. In short, it's just another year. It never was possible to be comparing a year to the other. But then again, I guess I'm not articulate enough to do this. Or maybe, all my jotting thoughts are put to hold to embrace January. So you could expect something more from me by then. Perhaps.

I never really had a proper new year's resolution. Not that I have ever thought of planning one, but for 2006, I wish for me to be more initiative. To make more phone calls. Personally I think I'm a recluse for phone calls. The idea of hearing to the muted silence whenever both parties waited for each other to speak freaks me out at times. Which is why I resort to SMS. But this time around I'd like to be more spontaneous, making calls out of the blue. Even if it spells out a huge dent in my prepaid account.

Oh yeah, this is the new, old me.

So have a great year ahead, everyone. Thanks for being here all this while.

Breaking The Habit (Not)

2005-12-13T21:59:00.000+08:00

(Before that, this is fun. Taken from Didi)

The Rules:

#1 write down FIVE (5) weird habits
#2 pass this baton to 5 other people.
#3 list down their name and blog link.

Weird Habit No. 1

My diaperhood days are still very much to this day, a KL haze. You can't see much, but you know something's there. But one thing that remains very vivid is that I used to gather every piece of mail that I could scour from our small house in Kg. Subang and stuff it all down in my diaper. Why? Beats me. It seemed that the idea appealed as 'heroic' to me back then. Encik Posto: Si Pejuang Persuratan. Heh.

Weird Habit No. 2

When I was staying in Alor Star 17 years back, I could already switch between English and Bahasa pretty smooth without a single jerk. What's so weird about it? Here:

"Al teque de stond and al trrrouw ad yoou"
(I'll take the stone and I'll throw it at you)

That, was a result of hanging around Ravi and Auntie Sarala a bit too much. Complete with that head-neck jiggle that is so common and comical amongst Indians. Funny that eventhough I had other playmates like Cer Khai and Som Phong, I was never stuck in their Manglish lingo. Ibu was happy that I was bilingual at this age and she was too amused to even bother about my Tamil-inflicted accent. This went on for about a year or two before I could speak "properly".

Weird Habit No. 3

Ibu often regale the tale about me being a very inquisitive kid. The best of it all was when I used to yell out whatever was written on signboards and billboards whenever we went for an outing. At times it even went to the extent of shouting it out in baku (e.g. Paramount Pictures = Para-mow-un Peach-two-rest). Later on I realized that this was how my spelling and grammar instinct was honed.

Weird Habit No.4

I spent most of my school holidays at Mak's place in JB. Playing badminton every evening with Zaid & Bedah (neighbour-cum-family friend) was definitely a habit but what made it weird was, with the absence of badminton racquets, we played using potlids. The clings and clangs made the game ever the more exciting.

Weird Habit No. 5

When Arway Ayah was around, we used to go up to Mik's place almost twice every week. Other than looking forward to spending the hours with my cousins and if we get lucky, a night out with Dadas or Nanas, the first thing I would do when I'm there is to check out the top-right drawer of the antique display cabinet. See, being the kids we are, we never left home without our little action figures or Hot Wheels minis. Given the short span of attention we have back then, sometimes we got temporarily fixated on other things that we accidentally left our toys when we went home. Mik then would keep it for us until our next visit hence, the top-right drawer. Now, unlike my cousins, I never left my toys behind. So my only intention of checking out the drawer was that, I could play with whatever toy they left behind. It kinda became religious that I still subconsciously do it every now and then. Even when there's only old cups and saucers left in there. Old habits do die hard. Sheesh

This goes out to you, you, you, you dan kamu.

I'm one lucky uncle...

2005-12-12T03:42:00.000+08:00

Pa'an Loves Iqa

(Johor was a blast. Watch this space. It'll be flooded soon)

Harry Potter Dan Gelas Berapi: "...acting like a babbling, bumbling bunch of baboons."

2005-11-30T20:04:00.000+08:00

No, it didn't stink. Just a quote from Professor McGonagall regarding the Yule Ball. It's funny, but the follow-up to it was hysterically executed by the Weasley twins.

Speaking of which, the Jarvis Cocker-Phil Selway-Jonny Greenwood band (there's a name for them in the book that I forgot) played 3 indie wet-dream songs, the swankiest any of them has made, gave the ball scene a prom twist which is kinda inviting and reflects -even for the likes of potential wizards- that kids are just kids. The drama, the ego. Everything's in its right place.

So much has been said about the movie (from critics, friends, and bloggers alike) that it made me kinda reluctant to write about it. Well, it's swell as any other Potter installments with its expected flaws nonetheless. I've heard of almost everyone raving about how cute Katie Leung was playing Potter's crush, Cho Chang but no one told me that Clemence Poesy (who played Triwizard contender, Fleur Delacour) was hot in swimsuits. She is!

By the way, here's something about the zine I'm writing for. Courtesy of Nazirah.

"Earwax" is the column I share with Hafeez along with someone else. Yeah, ignore the debut date. It'll be out sometime. Soon. Flyer's neat eh?

I'm thinking of Pontianak next Wednesday. Any takers?

Ah Pa'an Jinjang

2005-11-30T00:41:00.000+08:00

As I was watering the many, scattered pots of flowers Ibu has (they're a badminton court apart, clustered), I noticed this middle-aged apek peeking through the gates. Before I could do anything else, he called me over and this is what he blurted:

"Eh, lu tau ka blapa lu punya tauke beli ini lumah? Musti banyak mahal woo."

Hmm.

Mistaking me as the 'gardener' is somewhat an unexpected feedback of the expected response we predicted that we would have received once we moved in. Confused? Well, in short, this is a corner lot house with 6 big palm trees around the curb, a Javanese-themed koi pond, a balanced, vast lawn and was decently renovated by the previous owner. When it was up for grabs, eeeeeeeeveryone expected that it'll have a new Chinese owner since the stakes it's quite high. And then Ibu loved the place, Ayah bought it and we crashed in. So call me Ah Pa'an from now on. I'll feng tau your sadness away.

This house is really the corner. It's the first house you'll notice coming in to USJ 6 from the Persiaran Kewajipan - Persiaran Murni cross road. And Persiaran Kewajipan -being the notorious bumper-to-bumper venue it is- showed lots of tragic entertainment lately. I've only been home for 3 days and I've seen 5 accidents. Nothing serious though.

I actually felt like slapping the apek's head silly. It'll be accident number 6.

ATT. TO: Hafeez, Alia, Li and Nazirah (Neat, this.)

2005-11-29T16:24:00.000+08:00

Got this off Afi's LJ. Support the cause, yo.

inkyhands magazine (http://www.inkyhands.net), an online Malaysian litmag which features fiction and creative non-fiction writing, and "hopes to showcase the best that Malaysian writers (of ages 14-24) has to offer."

We have a temporary website up for everyone to submit their work online.

Meanwhile, though, we really need (read: desperate for) submissions for our first issue, which is scheduled to be published in early December 2005. Quick, sift through the Word documents on your computer, and choose some of the best ones!

Submit something to inkyhands, ! Or if you don't write "fiction or creative non-fiction" (which is what we publish), link us to your blog. Post an entry dedicated entirely to inkyhands. And if you can't submit this month, there's always the next month (hopefully), and the next, and the next, and the next - subscribe to our mailing list for updates!

Got even cute cute banner for linking purposes!! What more encouragement do you need?

The banner is hosted at: http://img176.imageshack.us/img176/489/inkyhands4rz.gif
Thanks for your support!

Finals = Over

2005-11-28T19:06:00.000+08:00

Hey,

I'm back.

I'm tired.

Slightly excited.

I'll be busy with stuffs -still, I will hang out with anyone of you just for the sake of hanging out- but there's something interesting I'd like to tell.

Be a sport and swing by there. Chew on the details and if it somehow strikes your fancy, come and join the food fest. All is love.

Proper entries will resume shortly. Everyone has their own block.

I'm having mine.

"Seru banget"

2005-11-15T18:35:00.000+08:00

Suspect: Various Artists
Exhibit: Janji Joni OST
Price To Pay: RM 30.50
Crime Scene: Music Magic, Central Market, Kuala Lumpur

"Hmm.. Media Distorsi? Goodnight Electric? White Shoes & The Couples Company? Zeke & The Popo?! Who the hell are they?!"

Exactly.

In a time where soundtracks coming from our jiran seberang are mostly dominated by top-selling acts, Melly and her cohorts, career-revived pop stars and power-ballad veterans, it does grab your attention seeing a bunch of unknowns featured in this one. Filled with up-and-coming stalwarts of almost any thinkable genre (mostly sung in English, a pleasant surprise indeed), it's rest assured that your current state of mind on the Indo music scene will never be the same again.

Joni (played by Nicolas Saputra) pretty much start things off with a short excerpt from the movie before making way for The Adams' hook-laden, morning-breakfast anthem, Waiting. If there's anyone missing the presence of the award-winning duo that is Juliet The Orange, one listen to Ape On The Roof's Puzzle affirms the fact that there is hope for laidback-pop out there -if not on our shores- albeit being more adventurous. Picking up the pace while slightly shifting the mood from chirpy to upbeat-melancholia at a drop of a hat is Sore's Funk The Hole, charging your unevoked senses with their brand of march-inflicted tune and soaring, emotive vocals.

Apart from Teenage Death Star's thrashy garage number (I Got) Johnny In My Head, Sajama Cut's straight-up, power-pop Less Afraid and The Jonis's New Pornographers-meets-The Doors Do The Cobra, Zeke & The Popo delivered a somber, more brooding effort with 1.1 Trillion Woodcutters and I Novel giving the ever-critical indie crowd something to rave about. Those familiar with Laluna's style of retro-swing might find White Shoes & The Couples Company neatly tucked in their hearts with the Call and Response-ish Senandung Maaf. The inclusion of jazz collective Tomorrow People Ensemble adds spices of haute cuisine in the mix with Step Ahead For Freedom.

While all the mentioned acts has got the freewheelin', rockin' & rollin' part covered, what's left for IDM junkies and bedroom disc jockeys are nothing short of 'engaging' with Media Distorsi leading the pack through its spine-crushing, heavy electronica mish-mash number, The Army Returns. Goodnight Electric is the outfit to lookout for if you think the idea of Dave Gahan fronting the subtle Pet Shop Boys seems majestic. Bedroom Avenue is just pure new wave it makes you wanna tap those feet, turn up the heat and dance the night away.

With musical scores (Setan Kredit, Satu Waktu) and more dialogue excerpts from the film closing the gap, it makes this soundtrack a cohesive effort despite its expected shortcomings. Originality might obviously be one of it but traces of innovative craftsmanship may well be this lot's saving grace. Still, it is the best of its kind. Since we have a lot more to offer, here's hoping that our local boys and girls will eventually follow suit.

Reviewed by:
Farhan bin Fadzlishah

A Head

2005-11-05T23:27:00.000+08:00

I'm off back to campus tomorrow. Which means the finals are god-damn beckoning. I'm taking things real slow despite all the mad-rush and confused hush. No, nothing to do with the festives. I'm banking on my lucky stars for me to cope up once I'm back in the dorm. It's the only sensible place that I could concentrate. On anything for that matter.

In other news, everything else is fine I suppose. Raya is as usual, raya. Ibu's rendang is at its best this year, Nek Chu's lodeh proved yet again to be unbeatable and Mik threw a surprising twist with her Nasi Tomato. Fantabulous. Oh, and I found out that Ibu's rendang blends superbly well with McD's Bubur Ayam. Wicked.

If everything's aligned, we'll be moving in to the new crib next week. I'm kinda ecstatic. I need the fresh start. I've yet to see my refurbished room but Akim said it's ace. He even thought about buying a two-seater sofa for the room so our friends can crash and burn. Brilliant. Above all, I think I need a wardrobe change. I'm feeling like an expendable soldier in my current garb.

Well, stuffs to pack. Am meeting with the Alia in CM. Talking & munching. Nothing could top that.

Syawalism

2005-11-04T03:29:00.000+08:00

I was bored. So this came up.It's been a while since Cempulan.

Andai Penantian Suatu Kemestian

Apa indahnya hidup di dunia?
Di litupi sarang-sarang jarang melampaui moraliti si rambut perang.
Apa mudahnya hidup di kota?
Di saluti jaring-jaring gering yang di palit suara-suara tuli yang ingin menjerit.

Di tanyakan apakah gerangan?
Gerangan ini geram,
Gerangan ini muram, suram,
Gerangan ini yang bermandikan tangisan tatkala dinihari dilewati malam.

Di tanyakan apakah perkhabaran?
Perkhabaran ini sedih,
Perkhabaran ini perit, jerih,
Perkhabaran ini yang dahulunya di sambut girang kini menjadi penambah duka hati yang usang.

Seringkali fasal harga diri di bicarakan,
Di umpamakan ibarat putaran panggilan,
Dosa semudah pra, pahala sesukar pasca.

Seringkali perihal hari keadilan di persoalkan,
Di misalkan seperti sebuah kiasan,
Sopan berkain pelikat, terkilan bercelana singkat.

Andai penantian itu satu kemestian,
Aku setia menunggu,
Tak rela termanggu...

Oh, Happy Raya everyone.

Home

2005-11-02T07:03:00.000+08:00

Got this off Nazirah. There's other things to blab about actually but too worn out as of this moment. This seems brief enough for a warm-up.

7 things to do before I die

- Performing haj with the family. All expenses borne by me.

- Have a decent job doing anything.

- Taking good care of the parents. Payback time.

- Making sure that both sibs are happily married.

- Make an impact/presence in the Malaysian culture (be it anything for that matter).

- Own a place to crash to.

- Release a critically-acclaimed album of any kind (Ok, a lil' bit farfetched)

7 celebrity crushes

- Stacy DuPree (Eisley)

- Sherri DuPree (Eisley)

- Rachael Leigh Cook

- Marg Helgenberger (Age ain't nothing but a number)

- Jasmine Trias

- Tegan (Tegan and Sara)

- Sandra Bullock

7 overused phrases/words

- "Heh."

- "Cam sial."

- "Assalamualaikum."

- "Hah?"

- "Oho."

- "Thanks."

- "Ya Allah."

7 things I look for in a girl (If i ever get lucky la)

- The voice. Mesmerizing-kinda. Not compulsory but slightly necessary. (Very subjective, this)

- Casual dress-sense. Knows exactly when and where to wear what. Very vital.

- Have a personalised musical preferrence. Can be totally different from mine as long as toleration on both sides is possible. Willing to tag along to the sweat-full world of gigging.

- Knows how to nag when needed. So what? A guy always needs some good nagging to get things going the right way. And also I'll be allowed to do likewise. Heh.

- Articulate and knowledgable. A plus point if she's better at both. We won't be running out of things to yak.

- Tolerate my nonsense. So I can be tolerant with hers. (I'm always tolerant. *ehem* *ehem*)

- Best friends first, lovers second. Works out well that way. Should also acknowledge my friends as I would with hers.

7 persons to dedicate this tag

- Didi, Akak ku sayang, Ella, Efry, Bren, Hafeez & whoever else.

Cheers.

Survival 101: The 411

2005-10-28T15:56:00.000+08:00

My MUET finals is due tomorrow. Nothing that should be taken lightly, but already I'm feeling bored. Am in the library's comp lab. Surprisingly reliable today.

Last week, my patience was put to a test. Not that dramatic but since it's Ramadhan, I'm relieved I steered out of it 'unscathed'.

Right after the TAX presentation, I jet off to Taman Maju with Afiq's Kembara for a hair cut. My matrix (metric?, matric?) card was confiscated due to my rambut yang panjang 2 days prior. Knowing the Kembara is super-low on gas (so is my wallet in cash), I swung by to the ATM but to no avail. 'Out of service'. Bummer. Thank god Taman Maju's petrol kiosk is ATM-equipped.

RM 16.70

Bummer number two. Ibu's yet to cash in my allowance. With only 70 cents in my pocket, a hair that needs to be trimmed and a car that'll soon fail on me, I decided to head back to campus and curse my luck until breakfast.

Vooooooommmmmmmmmm Burrrrrrrrrrrrr

Bummer number three. When the pedal is to the metal in the fifth gear and your car went from 100 to 60 at a drop of a hat plus you're a good 3 KM from your campus, you can only spell a word. B.A.B.I.

The blasted Kembara doesn't have that 'low-fuel warning' thingie. Being a first-timer, I was surprised I didn't panic. I was able to push (not literally, mind you) until the bus stop off-campus. Had to walk all the way to Ye Ol' FSPU for an SOS phone call to Razi. He bought, we filled, I was exhausted.

It's already 4:30 p.m. The dining hall's closed for the festives and so is every in-house cafe. So it's still undecided as to where and what to breakfast with. I guess everyone's bound for home once MUET is over and done with. The campus is already dead bored as it is with it's 'muted vacancy'. My bus ticket says I'm going home on the 1st. Tuesday. 3 and a half days filled with nothing but my FAR books and a limitedly-stocked laptop. And no transport to boot.
Maggie Mee and buttered Gardenia sounds as good as McD with rootbeer.

I'll live.

What a happy.....

2005-10-11T14:21:00.000+08:00

Spending the last weekend at home turned out to be brilliant. The reason why I've always loved Ramadhan is the fact that it gives me the pleasure of viewing things in a clearer, more sensible way. It's the only time of the year that I can really be at peace with anything with unhassled ease.

It's a relief to see that everyone is enjoying life as it is. Namely Akim who's off the hook with both UPSR and PSRA are over and done with.

....

....

Something's bothering me. I'm worried about someone.

Laters.

Retronika

2005-10-02T03:56:00.000+08:00

I need some sleep.

3 hours ago I was happily snapping photos. 3 hours ago I was grinning with cherubic enthusiasm. 3 hours ago I was stuffed with make-believe laughters. 3 hours ago my home state coveted a treble. 3 hours ago I felt alone.

As much as I want to write about it, nothing is really 'inspiring' about this semester's faculty dinner. I don't know. I'm so worn down from the very beginning from god knows what. To think that I 'succesfully' staged a cheery mockery of myself in front of others should be decent enough, it only made things worse. Sleep deprivity? Highly likely.

Didi looked fantabulous in her garb. Come to think of it, she's always lovely in anything for that matter. The only genuine moment of happiness that was squeezed out of me was the time that I got the chocolate bar she bought for yours truly. Thanks again, dear.

Everyone's bugging me to change my cellphone to a new one. Decent at least. I know, the housing's way beyond busted, I know, 7 keys on the keypads are as good as dead, I know, you can't hear me on the phone and vice versa at times, I know, maybe I should 'move on' and get a new one. But what I don't know is why can't my 3610 be left alone? It still serves me well. To each his own, no?

I guess my current state of drone-ish monotony has almost everything to do with the Law assignemnt. Even Didi can attest to this since every single that we're texting/talking, the reply would be, "tgh buat law". I might've overworked myself although it's a group effort. I'm responsible for almost 70% of the whole thing. While everyone estimated it would be around 30-60 pages, ours turned out to be a whopping 204 page paperwork. Mr. Ragu was overwhelmed. He even name-dropped me during his lecture with Group A. Since it was mentioned almost all the time within my circle, it made me thought that maybe I was too exaggerating. Too elaborate would be appropriate. I'm beginning to think that it was all a fluke. It's getting to be loathesome. One thing's for sure is that I am very thankful that it was approved. Never have I put so much commitment in an assignment. Despite the extra mile of pages that we went, we're the first group to get the nod from Mr. Ragu ahead of everybody else. This obsession has got to end.

Right after the dinner was over, we went straight to the lots behind Jusco for a frame or two of snooker. Lokman, being the 'beurocrat' he is, was afraid that his rep would end up in the drains if we were to head for campus now. Overnight it is. They're killing each other on CS. Maybe a round or two is worth killing the time. Laters.

I need some sleep.

Le Passion Du Momento

2005-09-16T21:40:00.000+08:00

Well, thanks to a series of fate-twisting events, I have been ridiculously busy typing for the past week.

Thinking the law assignment I'm working on is halfway through, I thought that I could use the ample time to work on other stuff. Fletcher's new song, coping up with the classes I missed and all that jazz. But with much credit to Mr. Ragu, I am burning the midnight oil more often than ever for the sake of his attention to detail (which I have nothing against since I am somewhat a retentive as well). Basically I've to scrap everything and restructure it again. He even make me type the whole of Table A of the Fourth Schedule of the Companies Act. Patience is put to the test. Hang on, hang on.

Another reason for my 'workaholic' mode is Nazirah. She's about to come out with a zine. Genuine Mind Zine to be exact and since Efry and Nik Faris "highly" recommended me, I was asked to contribute any written material for the cause. See, my biggest weakness when it comes to writing is that I can't exactly write for a 'reason'. And writing for a zine seems to be one. But then again after much thought, I was tired of succumbing to it so I thought of giving the zine a shot. Since materials are lacking, I roped in Hafeez as well and he immedietly agreed to it. It'll be a great platform for him. He needs (must) to go far. Progress? It's safe to say that I'm enjoying it despite the immaculative rivulsion of meeting deadlines.

The faculty's Family Tag is underway tomorrow. With Iqbal in Melaka and Mimi back home, we'll definitely miss the absence of our captain (and possibly last semester's winning line-up) and our one-lady cheerleading team for the tug-of-war match tomorrow. Cross fingers.

Life is where the good and the bad lies.

Jiff

2005-09-08T00:51:00.000+08:00

My cellphone is completey wonked out. SMS is the only option.

The band is working on a third song. We're excited. I'm ecstatic.

Take care.

Let's get loud.

2005-09-05T15:10:00.000+08:00

Afiq, Adam and Zhaf came unexpectedly yesterday and unexpectedly invited me to Sure Heboh. None of us ever went for one so why not? I was in the middle of the law assignment so actually I was hesitant at first as the momentum was just kicking in. Then again, there's always tomorrow. Procrastination is in fashion.

We swayed to Mimi's first since the boys want to know where she sleeps. Chit chatted, asked whether she wanted to tag along after which she said no, then we're off to Bukit Jalil and my god were we befuddled. The crowd was insanely collossal. I can almost imagine how Padang Arafah looks like during the Haj season. It was the briefest visit ever and then we left due to our instant 'people-phobia'. It was wickedly scary being surrounded by all that people. It was my first and last visit to such carnivals.

Since we're already there, Zhaf drove us to Mines Shopping Fair for chow. It's been ages since I've been there and it has somehow lost its spark. Or maybe there wasn't any spark at all. Maybe the spark came from my inner-child light. Done with dinner and we zipped to Pyramid with hope there's a midnight showcase but we ended up forking 3 bucks for a 10-minute parking and left. Summit was our last call and it proved to be a very good call indeed. Played an hour-rounds of pool which me and Afiq lost, played Daytona which I didn't 'cause I'm not into arcades and did something out of the blue. We karaoke-d. It was fun. A fun night out. Went home, watched Hewitt struggled against Dent and Chile being samba-ed by the Brazillians before hitting the sack.

I had fun.

Workload to be done.

Godly

2005-09-04T01:13:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through the family album when I saw this. Taken a couple of months ago. I didn't realize I was that hairy.

Kinda Kings Of Leon-ish. I might look like that again sometime soon. Not to soon though.

Binocular Eyes

2005-09-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

I feel like a stereotypical, old-fashioned writer. Only in the sense that I have a mug of coffee within reach when writing. I am stereotypical, but not old-fashioned.

Well, this mid-semester holiday is bound to be very brief. There's a law assignment I need (must) get on with, 2 more tests to prep for, and heaps of promises to fulfill. A week to get it all done and I'm still gawking over the net for new releases by anyone/band. Ah, tomorrow never dies.

My conversation with Mimi lately had made us both agreed that life in Bote is getting exciting by the day. For me, I owe it all to my newfound pastime; tennis and volleyball. There's something about it all that makes me craving for more. I guess it's the court. I feel totally at ease once I'm in the compound. So what if my service is crooked and off-court? It's my racquet, my balls. Yeah, I got balls.

I am car-less since the Wira is in Damansara which is kinda frustrating because I am too dependant on it. I used to be able to go anywhere within the state by anything that is public. Even by foot. I still am, but not without moaning silently in my head. It's like tennis in a way. Regardless of their top-notch stamina, the reason why they can last long-hour matches is that they're not the ones picking up the balls when it is out of play. In my case, I'm more exhausted picking up balls all over the court (all 4 of them) than actually playing tennis. My argument should be noticed by now. It takes time to get yourself accustomed to things that are 'degrading' in a 'progressing' world. But no one's actually complaining about getting accustomed to things that are 'upgrading' which is a lot tougher. I am lost. Or maybe the world is.

Oh, I saw a book I bought long ago but never really bothered to finish it up. The coffee is still warm. Laters.

Furnitures On Sale, Unfulfilled Dreams For Free

2005-08-13T16:40:00.000+08:00

So the long awaited release by Furniture is no longer, a long wait.

Eversince the release of Damn Dirty Apes' opus Ape Kill Ape and the demise of Sgt. Weener Arms, the local indie crowd have been wandering aimlessly for a decent record for them to wet their pants on their beds or simply a healthy dose of 'taking drugs without taking drugs' music for the occasional trancedental vibes.

2 years in the making, Furniture's Twilight Chases The Sun sounds more like a properly-documented curation of the band's existence rather than a debut album. A mix of old tunes and newer ones, everything surprisingly sounds familiar and instinctively catchy. Aside from the chirpy ambience the opening title track offers, it has such a strong resemblance to The Smashing Pumpkins' "Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness" before setting up the stage for "Postcards'", arguably the most uplifting track off the album. Fans and friends alike will be cheering for the inclusion of the band's crowd-puller ditty "Chasing Tipperary" into the fold. It retains everything that made it so amiable albeit the mixing process it went through. For every band, an epic is a must especially for a band of Furniture's credible. Epic comes in form of "I Am Ying". An 8-minute excursion into never-ending, intensified limbo land of ambiguity.

This writer once labelled this lot of noiseniks as the region's very own Sigur Ros. Obviously he was proven wrong throughout the whole album but when listening to the Harry Potter-ish "Why Is Adam King?", he's instantly brimming with a newfound hope. They're no Sigur Ros, they're something else better. Way better. If the band is to pick up where they left off, then I rest my case. The brand new kings of convenience is on our shores. Praise be.

Pissing Off Isn't A Sin. It's A Luxury.

2005-08-13T02:19:00.000+08:00

I used to spend a whole day restlessly pondering have or have I not update my blog. Well obviously it doesn't bother me much nowadays. Hear me out. It's just a thought. I won't do something as redundant as blogging about a blog. Not anymore.

I'm neck-deep in my diploma and I still find it hard to juggle both worlds. My life in campus and the one I left here at home which is only separated by a few hundred miles. Let's face it. I'll never get accustomed to changes. Not that easy.

I need time. Lots of it.

Be right back. Errr...maybe.

2005-07-20T21:45:00.000+08:00

Busy, busy, busy.

I'll flood this space later.

Take care.

Moving on

2005-07-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

So my 3 months is almost over and done with.

Mix feelings and all that jazz aside, I'd first like to bow out from here with credits to the ones that made this series of holiday another successful episode of 'vengeance aginst boredomness'.

Pojam - For the slot in Fletcher and for being the best, most innovative drummer I could ever ask for.

Azmir - For your child-like melodies, your comic relief and sirap pandans.

Azhar - For the insight and letting my hasty fingers exploit the keyboard when you weren't around.

Syamil - For being my wing man, for being extremely open-minded to my extremely demanding-self.

Alia - For being the greatest akak ever. I'll miss you the most.

Adam - For the futsal matches.

Akim - For being such a grown-up kid at the tender age of 12. You will go places, dear brother.

And for the rest who aren't mentioned, no amount of words can ever do justice to you. Please accept my heartful gratitude.

Take care.

UiTM Di Hati Ku

2005-06-28T12:12:00.000+08:00

I look like a freshman.

Woah

2005-06-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

Sigur Ros's new album is COMPLETED.

w00tt!!

That Party, The Death

2005-06-20T23:20:00.000+08:00

Azhar turned 20 on the 12th. Since he and JMS had a gig on the big day itself, the do was postponed last Saturday.

The whole affair was like a gig after-party with a funny twist. As much as almost everyone that came have their fair share of love-hate association with the commercial masses, they all flocked in the house just to see wheather Mawi forgot his lyrics again, or could Akma pulled it off given the Siti tune she was singing to. Yes, everyone dah demam.

But no, the whole night wasn't as jubilant as we thought it would be.

Pojam sent an SMS.

His mother passed away last Friday. He was in KB when he sent it.

Al-fatihah...

Be strong, bro.

Transnasionalist

2005-06-13T20:18:00.000+08:00

Not too long ago, USJ 2's Petronas kiosk did something groundbreaking. Sharing their lot with A&W. But sadly (or fortunately?) it didn't last prominently long. Sales were by the way; mediocre.

The only reason I mentioned it was because that 'merger' thingie isn't that groundbreaking anymore. The one in USJ 21 is doing it with KFC, and the ones in Skudai, Pelangi Indah and Sg. Besi are doing well with McD. The idea of integrating petrol kiosks with fast food joints under one, metallic cubicle roof is personally for me, no more than a novelty thought. They're obviously taking the term 'oily fast food' to a literal level. Amusing.

While I was in JB, I accidentally unveiled an interesting family fact. Abg. Hisyam have been blessed with 15 years of marital bliss and 6 wonderful kids. As most of us are concerned; it is required to state the father's occupation in a child's birth certificate. Abg. Hisyam -being his job-hopping self- have without notice did something historic. Take a look at this and sum it up yourself:

Child-Job
:: Nur Dhaniyah-Marketing Executive
:: Nur Mohd. Daniel-Singapore Airport Operator
:: Nurnazirah-Tour Guide
:: Nurnabihah-Service Assistant
:: Nur Mohd. Haziq-Businessman
:: Nurhaziqah-Landscape designer/contractor

6 different jobs! Amazing!

Again, something struck me while I was on my way to catch the bus ride back home. Almost 70% of Malaysian who commutes by express busses chose Transnasional as their preferred bus service provider. I on the other hand, in true against-the-tide clamor chose Konsortium Bas Ekspress Semenanjung ever since my 1st semester in Bote.

Then after reading Alia's latest update, it makes perfect sense. I am proud to be a Malaysian and yet I am against almost everything that generally defines a Malaysian in the naked eye. So I guess its okay to live anywhere but here. As long as the flag is proudly raised in your heart. No matter in what corner of it.

With all the things said above. It has come down to one, idyllic conclusion.

Nationalist is passe.

Here comes the new breed of transnasionalists.

Your God Loves Disco Loud

2005-06-11T08:01:00.000+08:00

The parents will descend soon in KLIA. I'm off to JB at 4 until Monday.

Maybe a little time off away from home would do me good. Maybe. I tend to believe so. I've no idea why.

It's merely a month away before the dawn of a new semester. I'm partially anxious, partially excited and wholly aghast. It's going to be the ride that I've been trying to escape from. Nevertheless, I'll make the very best of it.

On a side note, the band's doing fine. We're already working on the 2nd song that is also tipped to be a far cry (and a goddamn mighty one) from No Rush. Hopefully -God-willing- it will be done by the end of this month. The aim's realistic but kinda vague. Syamil will be back in college soon, Pojam's career is in full swing, Azhar will be bombarded with exams, and Azmir, well, by August he's gone overseas. With all the support and encouragement thrown at us, we deserve another song under our belt. Pray along with us will ya?

You are always concerned of my well-being. You always drag me up from the ditch.

Love, love, love.

They're all yours.

Agnus Dei

2005-06-07T01:08:00.000+08:00

Everything has been quite a blinding blur. The more things unfold, the more ignorant I am of them.

Last weekend was fueled about you-know-who doing you-know-what. All 3 days of it.

It's hard to admit the fact that I am being colder towards everyone. A fact that I alone can attest to. A fact that will be cemented once everyone realizes about it. A fact that has placed me in denial all this while.

Till this very day, my search for someone (regardless of gender, mind you) that I can blab absolutely anything with is far from the ever-elusive finish line.

Maybe it's because I chose to be 'nothing'.

As much as I loathe self-loathing, as absurd as it can be, it is impossible to get away from it.

Is it possible to miss something/someone you have no idea off? Because right now, right this moment, I miss my old self.

That's it. I'm spent.

The joke's on me now.

Pojam

2005-05-31T22:08:00.000+08:00

"I feel so lucky today...."

Hahahahahahha. Good times.

Ba ba ba, ba ba ba.

2005-05-28T22:31:00.000+08:00

I have an unsettling feeling for the past couple of days. There's no use describing about it since it's very; unsettling.

So after we came back from the airport, I took my sweet time and throw myself on the bed thinking, "When will I get back to my senses. Or when is it coming back to me?". I suddenly found myself purposeless without no apparent (and logical) reason.

But thank goodness for 3 brief yet calming phone calls. The storm in me subsided.

Now that; that's the sound of settling.

Grr Grr Lover

2005-05-23T12:26:00.000+08:00

My days are kinda numbered. The parents are off to Mekah this Friday and my babysitting gig is good to go by then.

I have no qualms about it whatsoever but being awesome (worried) parents they are, Ibu and Ayah told us to come up with a to-do schedule (i.e: going for a show - what show? when? where? with whom? Argghh) during the period of their absence just so to make sure that we're preoccupied and not left here dying of boredomness (a noun that has made a prominent appearance in my blog for the past month). Yes, the 3 of us do plan if we were up to something but making a list out of it? That's kinda insanely absurd. And we've yet to reach for that pen and paper.

By the way, last semester's exam result's out. I wouldn't want to give your the rundown but I'm partially ecstatic that my GPA is at its highest ever. 3.33 (yeah, no biggie really). It gave a vital boost to my CGPA as well. Alhamdulillah.

Juventus won their 28th Scudetto! Woohooo!

Ah yes, I've been going on about me being in this band, practice and all but I never really disclose about it. So here.

Fletcher

Everything that you would inquire will be answered there. We composed a pretty comprehensive bio. We also have 3 versions of our 1st song, "No Rush" uploaded. Do leave us with feedbacks if you ever pay the page a visit. It's recorded live in several places using my lappie and Pojam's digicam. So far the response we got are encouraging ones. We're currently perfecting it and working on a new song as well.

I just realized that at this very day last year, it was the day that I wrote my first blog post. Happy anniversary, suckingwhitestars.

We're 2 days away from the Champions League finale. I'm thinking of watching it out of the confines of my own house. At a mamak or somewhere. Join me?

A Funeral (Too Late)

2005-05-15T23:40:00.000+08:00

Akim, me and Farah spent the whole day in Suria today. It was Nanas idea. Being the spinster aunt she is, everyone in the family knows that she would buy anything in the world for her beloved nieces and nephews (we're not the only ones, mind you). 20++ years of service with Petronas bought her a potload of wealth. And we're her faithful, cheeky leprechauns.

Me and Akim took a bend to Tower Records to see what's 'dumped' in the bargain barrel (more on this in the coming entries) and guess who I bumped into. Iqa. Apparently she have been working there since a month ago. And you kept hush about it, Iqa? Pfft.

Anyways, hours later when they were busy browsing through racks and racks of book in Kinokuniya, I decided to abandon the ___ For Dummies I was reading and hang around outside. I saw an empty bar stool at Auntie Anne's a floor below and instantly sat there for almost an hour. I was not in the mood to talk. Even casually. Luckily no one bothered (even the staff didn't utter a word).

At that moment. That solemn moment. I 'died'.

The sudden rushing thought of possibly not having a serious relationship at all killed me there and then. I don't know what sparked it. I was someplace else. In limbo. I tried not to think about it. But it ends up just like your favourite mistakes. It keeps coming back.

I was 'brought back to life' minutes later. Left the stall with a large cup of lemonade juice clutched firmly in my sweaty palms. A token of my gratitude for allowing me to 'rest in peace'.

Was that all for something?

Friday The 13th (Bah)

2005-05-14T11:39:00.000+08:00

Friday was surprisingly tiresome. Hung out with Fais for a while before Azmir swung by to pick me up for band practice. It was swell. The best part about being in a band with these guys is that they're never short of ideas. And so far the yet-to-be-named song we're working on seems to be evolving everytime we practice it.

Since The Az Bros (that's what I dubbed Azmir and Azhar as) have a futsal match underway at 6:00, we went straight back home without the usual after-hour JMS session. Pojam was invited to a BBQ at 8:00 before the jamm session kicked off at 10:00. I was hesitant to go at first but since I have the car and Pojam was chauffeur-less, what the hell.

The food was great but can't say the same about the peeps though. They were busy with them cliques. So after chow, we went straight to Mokh's not knowing we were the last to arrive. Very unlike me. We cranked it up instantly without much glitch. We went like, 5-6 rounds with each one ended with much-needed relief. The in-house practice sessions surely paid off. When we were packing our stuff, I felt a stinging pain on my right index finger. Shit. It was bleeding.

When we entered the studio's longe area, Karl and co. were there. And guess what? Tessla's CDs are on a free giveaway! Sweet!

Shooed off to Sunway sans Pojam for supper at Sri Bidara. I arrived at home around 1:00. The trafic light at the Summit-Giant crossroad is a fuckhead. It turns red after one and half car got through. Chatted online for a while with the guys and Didi before retiring for the night (or morning). Pojam says Rathnor wants us to play for a post-rock gig. With only one, under-progress song under our belt? Heh. We'll see about that.

Alibi

2005-05-09T23:41:00.000+08:00

Maybe some of you noticed my lack in proper entries these days. Maybe some of you don't even give two hoots about it at all. Oh well...

Truth is, being a sneeze away from a chock-full PC with great stuffs and a hiccup away from a braodband internet connection paid a great deal. I lost the much-needed 'urgency'.

Back in Bote, there was practically nothing to do in the dorm compound other than sports (which in domestic definition actuality; football) or a frequent foray to Downtown (a male equivalent to the female cafe stylishly dubbed as Uptown) for a momentary distraction from the burgeoning study workload. So ever since I started blogging, I can be at peace with almost anything rather than driving myself up the wall in response to the boredomness induced in campus. And the fact that the campus doesn't offer in-room internet connection or any of the likes of it fueled my passion for blogging in an odd manner.

I was basically writing entries on a daily basis. It almost became religious. Flooding readers with multiple entries at a time is a common scenario. After all, blogging made a profound impact on my written and spoken language studies (English. Heh). Ever the more reason for me to keep on keeping on right? That's what I thought.

Blogging needs only 3 things actually. Your computer, you and your conscious. So after a while I got tired of staring at a blank, white screen with the blinking text marker waiting for me to hit the right keys that spells, "So today was o.k.". Deja vu is ineveitable. Redundancy is evil.

As much as I claim that this 3 months break is all about 'nothingness' thus far, I realize now that 'nothing is everything'. Less is more. I have been doing lots of stuff other than downloading music off Soulseek and deliberately sleeping at 4 in the morning to wake up approximately 6 hours later circa 10:30 a.m. But this entry is not about re-living those unspoken moments. It's about the lackness of me.

If I were to be in anyone's shoes and reading this, I would say,"He's written this long and still bitching about being 'lack'?". Yes, I am still bitching about it but I've manage to get this far thanks to these 3 things. Me, a pen and a paper. Yes, doing it old school. Literature at its purest form. Handwritten.

Jotting down your thoughts without having your fingers tapping on a modern, plastic piece of technology is better than driving to work without the bumper-to-bumper traffic nightmare. Your own handwriting, no matter how ugly it is (mine's beyond 'ugly'), is inspirational to you by its own right.

I may keep on doing this. It's been the longest of time since I wrote something akin to this on a piece of paper. At least untill I get tired of doing it this way or suddenly I'm demented enough to be halucinating a naked redhead 'flashing' the text marker on the monitor. Nonetheless, I hope this is a fresh re-start.

For now, I'll download more music and will sleep at 4 a.m. See you after lunch.

Hey!

2005-05-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

Well, I........

Darn it, I can't write.

Peek A Boo

2005-05-02T23:39:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I'm bored at the moment, so here goes.

The weekend in Dungun was o.k. I guess. Despite the insanely humid, rain-less weather and tiresome long-hours of killing time, everything else was quite fine. Spending 4 days there could've been a total boredom if Aunt. Ani, Aunt. Su and family didn't tag along. Before we left, we had a lil' chit chat with Aunt. Dian since she and the whole family was on their way to Klang. I caught a glimpse of Baby -her niece from Medan- and my isn't she a killer. A killer with a killer brain as well. She scored brillintly in her SPM and is applying for aeronautical engineering whereever possible. I haven't seen her for quite a while so I took the chance to catch more than a glimpse. She's fine. And I swear she was looking my way. I don't care for what reasons, but she did look my way. Almost left me grinning the whole day. Since we arrived at half past 9 (the journey was surprisingly bloody stressful), I crashed straight away and missed Subuh along the process.

Nothing exciting happened the next day. Except during lunch. It was then that I knew that I had another cousin. She's Kak Ayu's 17- year old sis. Siti Fatimah. She's sweet and all but she sure is a sight for (the slightest of) sore eyes. Well, we didn't utter a single word but I spend most of my time observing. She looks shy, but on the other hand she's not timid. I sensed that there's an urgency for us to have a decent conversation but we typically gave in to our ego and segan-ness.
I'll make sure the next time we'll be exchanging phone digits. Promise.

Well, the first meeting with the members of the 'no-rush' project was quite swell. I'm glad that we're all on the same terms. I really want this to happen. I really wanna have fun. This project band is potentially a good outlet for me to let go of my strenuous tensions with starsucker and the wide-white band and the soon-to-be-reshuffled Anjakan Paradigma. Fun music made with fun peeps. We'll be meeting tomorow at Azmir's place (sans Shazri. He's in the middle of his finals) to work on his bass line. Wish us luck everyone. We need the big break. Completing a song seems a big one. Oh, we're treading the instrumental route. Yeah, my forte (Heh).

Catch ya'll later.

Reconcile

2005-04-25T17:46:00.000+08:00

Well, I've nothing to post actually. Although there seems to be some 'movement' in my life right now, my jotting mind isn't in the slightest of moods to write it down. My hands are full at the moment with my first photo project, Swashbuckling Strata Buckdilly. I'll tell you the details someother day. I may be laying low for a while.

I'm dealing with the tightest financial situation ever. My Rm100-per month allowance was stripped down to Rm50 for May due to an 'incident' last Friday which I will (probably) disclose soon. These things that I intend to fulfill requires a whole lot than that:

1. Settle my debt with Farah ::RM 42.00::
2.~~Alia's overdue gift ::RM 40.00::~~
3. Li's overdue gift ::RM 50.00::
4. Next practice session with starsucker & the wide-white band ::RM 10.00::
5. Ibu's Mother's Day gift ::RM 30.00::
6. Raveen's band debut demo ::RM 10.00::
7. Swashbuckling Strata Buckdilly's KL nights ::RM 30.00::

Which brings it to a total of ~~RM 212.00~~ RM 172.00. I'll never eat chicken for a month if I (somwhow) pulled it off without expanding my debt list.

By the way, do pay a visit at Starbucks Coffee in Sunway Pyramid on the 28th of this month. Love Me Butch will be playing for Latte@8. Buzz me if you're going. Pop on!

Happy hunting.

Drive: The Playlist Vol.7

2005-04-21T12:29:00.000+08:00

Well, as diverse it maybe, this week's playlist theme (a first) is 'brooding'. 2 tracks from The Citizens Of Ice Cream (formerly known as Meng Shat), a prominent avant-garde/experimental band in the urban scene consisting of like-minded Chinese lads. There's something about them -Chinese in particular- when they set foor in the underground performing arena. They tend to dabble in progressive, obscure and poppish yet dream-like music. There's a lot of living , breathing proof to support my motion. We have Furniture (formerly known as R.U.S.H), the aforementioned The Citizens Of Ice Cream, Charlotte Dreams, Lang Mang and also the slow-burner and ever-evolving outfit, This Body Broken. I'll have to keep close tabs on these fellas. They might not be well-received in the circuit but they will surely have my cash. Worth the douugh.

Rundowns aside, to complimet the week's theme, I featured various tracks from Ours and Denali. The Mars Volta's bombast ballad The Widow also made the cut. It kinda reminds me of Gloomy Sunday. Since Chino Moreno's critically-acclaimed side-project Team Sleep is out with their debut album soon, I though having a head start would be best. The Passportal was taken from either one of the soundtracks off The Matrix trilogy. Very heavy electronica stuff. Perhaps an ode to U.N.K.L.E's Cellestial Annihilation. And finally, I've decided on my favourite track from Love Me Butch's latest long play. Some say that Pitcher Of A Ghost sounds Glassjaw-ish but it's Love Me Butch through and through. The highlight of the song is definitely during every chorus where Sha (guest vocalist and Syarul's girlfriend) belted out her sweet harmonics to compliment Syarul's singing. Overall, the song's guitar works is astounding. Wing Meng even lashed out machine gun-like riffage that'll put your heart on life support for catching up with it's ferocity. He proved yet again why he is such a gifted guitarist.

Ok then, untill the next Drive, enjoy.

Week 7:

1. The Velvet Teen - A Special Gift To You (4:56)
2. John Vanderslice - Bill Gates Must Die (3:42)
3. Ours - Chapter 2 (Money) [Live] (5:34)
4. The Citizens Of Ice Cream - Children's Day (6:59)
5. LyMe - Commode Abode (5:40)
6. Robi Rosa - Crash Push (3:33)
7. The Citizens Of Ice Cream - Customer (5:34)
8. Dayang Nurfaizah - Dayang Sayang Kamu (4:33)
9. Metric - Down (3:21)
10. Cursive - Driftwood: A Fairy Tale (4:40)
11. Six By Seven - Eat Junk Become Junk (3:04)
12. Love Me Butch - Embrace Yourselves (4:36)
13. Team Sleep - Ever (2:51)
14. Slipknot - Eyeless (3:56)
15. Lift To Experience - Falling From Cloud 9 (4:32)
16. Pete Yorn - For Nancy (3:28)
17. The Cardigans - For What It's Worth (4:18)
18. Starsailor - Four To The Floor (4:13)
19. Love Me Butch - Freefall (5:05)
20. Foo Fighters - Generator (3:47)
21. Jim O'Rourke - Get A Room (6:57)
22. Denali - Gunner (3:32)
23. Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me (4:44)
24. Metric - I.O.U (4:22)
25. Ours - If Flowers Turn (2:57)
26. Pearl Jam - Insignificance (4:28)
27. Ours - Kill The Band (4:02)
28. Ours - Leaves (3:43)
29. Jeff Buckley - Lover, You Should've Come Over (6:43)
30. Ours - Miseryhead (7:56)
31. Denali - Normal Days (3:27)
32. Denali - Nullaby (5:35)
33. Love Me Butch - Pitcher Of A Ghost (4:36)
34. Slipknot - Purity (4:14)
35. Ours - Realize (3:37)
36. Zwan - Settle Down (5:25)
37. Metric - Siamese Cities (3:49)
38. Cursive - Sink To The Beat (4:13)
39. The Postal Service - Sleeping In (4:23)
40. Interpol - Slow Hands (3:04)
41. Metric - Soft Rock Star (4:26)
42. Ours - Sometimes (3:51)
43. The Stills - Still In Love Song (3:47)
44. Love Me Butch - Stumble Upon A Glass (5:01)
45. Metric - Succexy (3:05)
46. Denali - Surface (4:47)
47. Slipknot - Tattered & Torn (2:53)
48. Team Sleep - The Passportal (2:55)
49. The Mars Volta - The Widow (5:57)
50. Razorlight - Up All Night (4:03)
51. Foo Fighters - Walking After You (5:03)
52. My Chemical Romance - You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison (2:52)
53. Jewel - You Were Meant For Me (3:44)

Riddim

2005-04-20T20:53:00.000+08:00

Ah. Jamming can be the best therapeutic thing ever.

Yesterday's session at D'Rhythmix (Mokh, why??) had 'anxiety rush' written all over. It kinda remenisce the old days when I was a newbie in this band thingamajigg. Every session is always looked forward too. Ah, how G-Sound is sorely missed.

Anyways, since starsucker & the wide-white band has its own Myspace page, I thought it's time to get busy and work on new songs. Since most of the members of the collective is away/busy and (possibly) experiencing commitment clashes, the rest of us are running out of juice. So back to the basics. Be creatively spontaneous.

Problem is though, being exposed to a wide array of genres can cause you to be surprisingly 'trapped' in a limited spectrum. Hours before heading to the studio, I came up with a typical basic riff in hope that it will evolve later on when Izzat and Adam give their inputs. But somehow it didn't work out. For the first 10 minutes, I was dead sure that yesterday's session was a total wreck. I almost gave up untill I accidently played a quarter bar of Silverchair's Spawn Again. I thought, "Hey, could be good". Turned out it was. A new song under our belt. It doesn't have a working title as of yet but we're working on it, You could say that we're ripp-offs and you couldn't say that we are. It's what the modern age claim to be as; innovation. It may sound like Spawn Again but underneath all the spine-crushing progressions, it's totally a different ball game. Adam's emo-inflicted bass line somehow fitted the song's mood in a quirky way. But hey, it worked. Now I know what Izzat is good at. Since there's 4 drummers in the collective, he'll be best filling in for alterna-metal-laden tunes. His instinct's quite acute. Oh, pity you for the 'death' of your drumstick, bro. It's about time to get a new pair by the way. Heh.

We came out of Studio B in high spirits. Nothing could ruin your day after a satisfactory session. Bumped into Usop and we had roti canai at Fawwaz along with Imran. Had a blast.

I'm mentally spent. Even writing this seems to be a workout. Rest easy.

Word

2005-04-18T23:36:00.000+08:00

The thing I hate the most when it comes to guitar is; changing the strings. It consumes a ridiculous amount of time and inane attention to the string tension to avoid unexpected snapping. It can be hazardous too. I've 'punctured' 6 fingers. Oh well, boo hoo.

So now my Jag's as good as new and I can't wait to head to Mokh's place for a session or two. I intended to record some riffs to day on my Lappie using the Jag because I need to start somewhere.

Shit.

The amp's buzzing.

I guess it's because I haven't been using the Ibanez Tone Blaster amp for quite a while and something fucked up the power cable. The buzz is horribly irritating. Thrashed my mood there and then. Using the kapok for recording at this moment is not a wise option 'cause the new strings are insanely 'coarse'.

I've set up a Myspace page for starsucker & the wide-white band. Uploaded 3 (old) songs but the whole thing's kinda tacky. But it's a start. Go here.

I wanted to write a review on Love Me Butch's This Is The New Pop. But I can't. Something's not right and I can't point my finger just yet. Perhaps I didn't feel it. It's an awesome record but maybe I wasn't 'attached' to it in one way or another. Perhaps.

I need to sort out myself.

Good going

2005-04-17T02:31:00.000+08:00

Hmm.

I think I'm getting used to this late night/early morning blogging time. I'm taking things bit by bit. Got tired of rushing it all.

Went to Pyramid with the familia circa lunch time to get Bibil's belated birthday gift. The mall sure was lively. There's this recycle campaign thingie going on at the centre circle en route to Star Archery and a Teh Tarik challenge at the front entrance centre circle. I-Zone was as always; jam packed. I got an eyeful of *ahem* eye-candies.

I wasn't planning on buying anything but as I swung by Fantasy to check out what's new on their racks my eyes were fixed at the 'New Releases' corner. It was Love Me Butch's This Is The New Pop. Long story short, I'm in total cash-deprivation mode.

As we were leaving for KGNS for lunch, Ibu -surprisingly- took a bend at Tower Records. There were back-dated CDs going at Rm 10 for 3 pieces. Since Farah has the cash, and we were then so eager to discover new stuffs and the rest, is history. Farah took some poetry CD by Luis Campos and I got the bigger portion of the cake by bagging Deathray's and McKinley's debut release. So far, both has 'good bargain' tampered all over them.

So to date, here's the latest entry to Schmaltzs:
- Denali's both albums.
- Metric's both official releases.
- Love Me Butch's latest LP.
- Deathray's debut.
- McKinley's debut.

I've recently acquired shitloads of songs by Ours. A few tracks away from their complete discography. If you like Jeff Buckley's operatic music akin to Grace, you should check them out. Being a far-too-late Buckley fan, they're as good as he was or decently simillar to the very least. My best bet for the next flag-bearer for the bombast-pop movement.

As I was trying to understand the words that spewed out from Syahrul's 'post-rage' scream/sing technique (is there such a thing by the way?), Izzat gave a buzz for a round of teh ais somewhere near. Got Adam to join us later on and that kinda led us to the most unbelieveably irritating incident ever. I wouldn't want to talk about it. It was such a killjoy that I still can't get it out of my head as much as I want to. Afterwards we went to Mokh's place since we haven't meet each other for the longest time. Good thing that Pojam was there as well. So all 5 of us went to SS2 for supper (again?). It was fun when all of us squeezed into Izzat's brand new Kelisa laughed about the old times along the way. I think Mokh's half serious when he said he wants me to tag along with him to Singapore for a job sometime next week. But knowing him, that'll probably won't happen. So the 'no-rush' thingie with Pojam will (hopefully) commence sometime soon. Now that I have his number and know where he sleeps (oh stalker me) it's only a matter of time before we crunch those chords and bang those beats.

I'll be doing my one-on-one driving test with Ayah on Sunday morning. Cross those fingers for me. I seriously need to drive. I'm sensing that my life will be dependent on it soon.

Mine's cooler than yours, Didi (I think).

2005-04-15T01:17:00.000+08:00

Your Irish Name Is...

Gavin Sheehan

What's your Irish Name?

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female

You think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few.

What kind of blogger are you?

The Band: How The "Me" Was Won

2005-04-14T17:17:00.000+08:00

Adrian claimed recently that Starflyer 59 is the band for him. Perhaps it is. They're quite ok. I on the other hand, found Cursive as solace. But before the Nebraskan quartet, I stumbled upon a video from another American quartet. It was for a song off their second album The Instinct. The enigmatic Hold Your Breath. I was instantly impressed with their dark and brooding dynamics and angular take on a simple 4-piece arrangements. But sadly my discovery was a few months too late. They disbanded in April 2004, leaving two of the most underrated albums in indie rock history (despite the 4-star rating given by AllMusicGuide for both albums) under the belt of their short-lived career. They are the band for me. They were, Denali.

Such beauty, such lush. No other band has manage to capture such a wide array of moods and emotions in one soundscape. This is the person responsible for it. The best frontwoman ever. The insanely talented and lovely, Maura Davis.

She's definitely an epitome of brains-over-beauty. And also a fine example of classical music chick-cum-rock babe supreme.This is my best instinctive musical discovery since The Twilight Singers and My Vitriol. It doesn't get any better than this (Hopefully, it does).

p/s: Happy 20th Zhaf!

Drive: The Playlist Vol.6

2005-04-13T00:44:00.000+08:00

Fuh. The making of this week's playlist is the thoughest to date. It took me 3 days to figure it out. Hence, resulting in the rojak-est playlist ever.

This week sees an amalgamation of songs on the extremes of each other. Just look at it. Dayang Nurfaizah's Dayang Sayang Kamu (an insanely infectious and cute song by the way) and Robi Rosa's Crash Push (the song) is sandwiched between Cursive's epic Driftwood: A Fairy Tale and LyME's crushing Commode Abode. I'm kinda resurrecting the 'hots' that I once had with Marilyn Manson and Pearl Jam. Both of which accompanied me through my high school years. Kudos to Sherry and Hafeez for the introduction. Also, this week features a track from starsucker and the wide-white band. It's the song that sparked the whole project. Funny to think back that we actually wrote a song before even establishing the collective. Whatmore the song was written during one of our free practice session and was recorded live in one take. Ahh, the rush. I unexpectedly stumbled upon Jim O'Rourke's songs in Kazaa. Lucky me. Killer stuff. Oh, and check out Bell X1 (thanks, Alia). Awesome melancholia. Enjoy.

Week 6:

1. Silverchair - Across The Night (5:37)
2. Pretty Girls Make Graves - All Medicated Geniuses (3:24)
3. Bell X1 - Beautiful Madness (5:18)
4. George - Breathe In Now (3:40)
5. Beth Orton - Central Reservation (4:50)
6. Paulinho Moska - Cinzas (3:58)
7. Howie Day - Collide (4:09)
8. Marilyn Manson - Coma Black (6:00)
9. LyMe - Commode Abode (5:40)
10. Robi Rosa - Crash Push (3:33)
11. Dayang Nurfaizah - Dayang Sayang Kamu (4:33)
12. Cursive - Driftwood: A Fairy Tale (4:40)
13. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Faith (4:23)
14. Pete Yorn - For Nancy (3:28)
15. Foo Fighters - Generator (3:47)
16. Jim O'Rourke - Get A Room (6:57)
17. Marilyn Manson - Godeatgod (2:34)
18. Imogen Heap - Goodnight & Go (3:52)
19. Starflyer 59 - Happy Days Are Here Again (1:16)
20. Armand Van Helden feat. Spalding Rockwell - Hear My Name (5:20)
21. Gomez - Here Comes The Breeze (5:29)
22. Bell X1 - I'll See Your Heart And I'll Raise You Mine (5:10)
23. Pearl Jam - Insignificance (4:28)
24. Bright Eyes - Landlocked Blues (5:47)
25. Pearl Jam - Light Years (5:06)
26. The Stills - Lola Stars And Stripes (3:57)
27. Jeff Buckley - Lover, You Should've Come Over (6:43)
28. Zahid feat Catt Ruffedge - Milik Ku (4:04)
29. Radiohead - Motion Picture Soundtrack (6:59)
30. Jeff Beck - Nadia (4:00)
31. Paulinho Moska - Nos Bracos De Isabel (3:22)
32. Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia (3:51)
33. Kinky - Presidente (3:22)
34. Raihan - Rayuan Rindu (3:23)
35. Meor - Sama Antara Sesama (4:50)
36. Howie Beck - Serves You Right (4:15)
37. Zwan - Settle Down (5:25)
38. Cursive - Sierra (3:25)
39. Cursive - Sink To The Beat (4:13)
40. Interpol - Slow Hands (3:04)
41. starsucker & the wide-white band - Sniffing Scattered Charcoal Dust Pt. 1 (Anna's Key) (10:32)
42. Keane - Snowed Under (3:51)
43. Paulinho Moska - Sonho Meu (3:58)
44. Silverchair - Spawn Again (3:31)
45. Tom McRae - Stronger Than Dirt (4:39)
46. The Good Life - Tell Shipwreck I'm Sorry (4:13)
47. Tom McRae - The Boy With The Bubblegun (3:01)
48. Cursive - The Radiator Hums (3:24)
49. Starlight Mints - The Twilight Showdown (3:03)
50. George - Truth (3:46)
51. Sigur Ros - Untitled #8 (11:45)
52. Razorlight - Up All Night (4:03)
53. Tom McRae - You Cut Her Hair (2:46)
54. My Chemical Romance - You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison (2:52)

"Ku sayang kepadamu..."

2005-04-12T22:01:00.000+08:00

I went for my bi-annual dental check up in Subang Parade. I've been Dr. Chua's patient since we moved here and my has it been that long? 11 years. Fuh. And he was the one that recomended that I go to this ceratin Dr. Jagjit -an orthodentist and associate- for my braces. I noticed a funny fact. Dr. Chua -a Chinese- have 4 assistants/staff. All of which are Malays whereas Dr. Jagjit -a Sikh- has 6 Chinese assistants/staff. Talk about national racial intergration.

Everyone, say congrats to Didi because starting from Monday, she will be officially doing her internship at PriceWaterhouseCooper in KL. I'm so ecstatic for her. You go girl!

I'm kinda glad that Pojam's positive about the songs I recommended. This 'no-rush' thingie is going pretty well. Hopefully it'll bloom into something awesome in the long run. This project will probably be my next 'proper' band since Hefleft. But worry not, my commitment is still 100% with starsucker & the wide-white band.

Despite all these on-goings, I'm still in a parallel mind state.

p/s: I have Dayang Nurfaizah's Dayang Sayang Kamu. Sweeeeettt.

Thank you, boredom

2005-04-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

I woke up very early today. 6:30.

Thankfully the MyKad registration didn't take long. It'll be done by June perhaps. Can't wait to see my 'terrorist' looks on it. Heh.

The slow-internet traffic caused by some cable leakage has been solved by TM Net. Good, good. I've been downloading like mad since.

I'm bored.

Killing time

2005-04-10T13:59:00.000+08:00

"I see it as a good thing that we have so much space. I can sense when Dan needs to go and do his thing. When we're apart and he tells me he's come up with songs, I'm pleased because that's the person I fell in love with. If I felt I was taking that away from him, I'd be firts to put him on a plane and say: 'Time for another writing trip'."

That's the sweetest thing I've heard in a while. That was Natalie Imbruglia's comment on living on opposite sides of the globe away from her hugely talented rocker hubby, Daniel Johns. It kinda takes mutual marital understanding to a whole new level.

For those who've listened to SevenCollar T-Shirt's Drones, must, must listen to their live interpretation of the song at the recent Pesta Muda-Mudi 2 at Hard Rock Cafe. They've almost made it into a completely different song. The arrangements is lush-er, there's changes in the chord progression, there's even a solo break and Ham showed that he can be quite the chameleon by lashing out Her Reverie-ish pluckings throughout. Texted him later on after the I'm done watching the bootleg and persuaded him to record it and upload it on the website for download. He said it's definitely under consideration. Whoppeee.

Joe has become quite an acquaintance so far. Chatting with him is kinda fun and quite resourceful since he talks about the on-goings in the underground scene from a different perspective. He sent me 2 of his under-progress songs via MSN and they're good. But -as he admitted himself- needs crucial changes. I was going through my recorded stuff and I stumbled upon Cempulan's first multi-track recording with vocals. It was during the early stages with unconfirmed arrangements and sans chorus. Gave it to him for feedbacks and he said I should get a girl. Claims I'm a moving emotional-train wreck. Heh. Funny guy.

Shaela posted Panggilan Rindu (Dan Awan Pun Menangis...)'s lyrics at her blog. Her new layout's neat.

I'm doing my MyKad tomorrow. With all these facial hairs I'm 'breeding', I'll probably make it to the FBI's 50 Most Wanted list. Fame, fame.

I'm just a pitiful anonymous

2005-04-09T01:44:00.000+08:00

It's day 4 since my homecoming. Things are pretty much moving very, very slowly.

Sometime last month a dude -Joe- left a message on my comment box. So last night we had a chat. Turns out he's in a band and things pretty much got carried away from that moment on. We were discussing music (duh) then somewhere along that he asked if he could listen to Panggilan Rindu (Dan Awan Pun Menangis...). I hesitated at first but after a second (maybe third) thought, I give in. He said it's ok. Asked again if he could give Ariff -a fair, white dude once featured in ROTTW. Acoustica maniac- a listen. Later on he asked if I've heard of Hassan Peter Brown's Songwriter's Round. Persuaded me to give it a go. But before I do so I've to busk at Starbucks Bukit Bintang as an audition of some sort. I'm still considering the offfer. It'll be a great first step for me. But I'm unsure if I can take the leap.

I'm getting the bicycle fixed soon. Planning to cycle all the way to Subang Parade as my 'maiden journey'. Haven't cycled in years. It's a fun affair. A funfair? Heh. I've been dreaming of riding a tandem bike. Doubles the fun.

Apart from Joe, I gave the song to Shaela too. I thought it's about time. She should receive the honour of listening to the song first. After all, the first stanza of the verse is about her and she pretty much inspires me to get the ball rolling. Glad that she liked it. Oh by the way, she just made a blog. It's here.

Efry dropped by and handed me SevenCollar T-Shirt's (Yay!!) bootleg video from Pesta Muda-Mudi 2. Still owes me Love Me Butch's and KLPHQ's.

While I was on the net, Adam texted a verymuch-welcomed invite. A futsal match! Told him to text no more and consider I'm already there. Obviously it was tiring but I had a blast. Andnow I'm here blogging. Heh.

Hmm. Well, I guess things are not going that slow after all.

Drive: The Playlist Vol.5

2005-04-07T19:51:00.000+08:00

Alright. Here's this week's playlist. Quite a handful of old stuffs. Compliments the volatile moodswing I'm having right now. See you soon.

Week 5:

1. The Smashing Pumpkins - 1979 (4:24)
2. Julie Delpy - A Waltz For A Night (3:29)
3. Ambulance Ltd - Anecdote (3:16)
4. The Smashing Pumpkins - Annie-Dog (3:38)
5. The Smashing Pumpkins - Beautiful (4:18)
6. The Smashing Pumpkins - Behold! The Nightmare (5:13)
7. George - Breaking It Slowly (4:02)
8. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Breathe (4:07)
9. Cursive - Butcher The Song (3:31)
10. Muse - Cave (4:47)
11. Howie Day - Collide (4:09)
12. Cave In - Dark Driving (5:29)
13. Cursive - Driftwood: A Fairy Tale (4:40)
14. LyMe - Entenderas (4:32)
15. Interpol - Evil (3:35)
16. The Smashing Pumpkins - Eye (4:54)
17. Sparklehorse - Eyepennies (5:27)
18. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Faith (4:23)
19. The Smashing Pumpkins - Farewell And Goodnight (4:22)
20. O@G - Figura Malaya (5:23)
21. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Glory & Meaning (5:02)
22. Cursive - Harold Weathervein (2:59)
23. Sheila On 7 - Hingga Ujung Waktu (4:26)
24. My Vitriol - Infantile (3:49)
25. Pearl Jam - Light Years (5:06)
26. The Smashing Pumpkins - Lily (My One And Only) (3:31)
27. Gomez - Love Is Better Than A Warm Trombone (3:29)
28. The Smashing Pumpkins - Marquis In Spades (3:12)
29. O@G - Mutiara (5:04)
30. O@G - Natural (4:27)
31. The Smashing Pumpkins - Once Upon A Time (4:07)
32. Radiohead - Paranoid Android (6:25)
33. Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia (3:51)
34. The Smashing Pumpkins - Perfect (3:23)
35. Dewa - Risalah Hati (4:52)
36. Sheila On 7 - Seberapa Pantas (4:00)
37. O@G - Senyawa (4:28)
38. Howie Beck - Serves You Right (4:15)
39. Cursive - Sierra (3:25)
40. Cursive - Sink To The Beat (4:13)
41. Interpol - Slow Hands (3:04)
42. Pearl Jam - Soon Forget (1:46)
43. Muse - Space Dementia (6:21)
44. The Smashing Pumpkins - Sparrow (2:56)
45. O@G - Stanza (5:25)
46. The Smashing Pumpkins - Tear (5:53)
47. Death Cab For Cutie - The New Year (4:12)
48. Ash - The Sweetness Of Death By The Obsidian Knife (3:29)
49. The Smashing Pumpkins - The Tale Of Dusty And Pistol Pete (4:34)
50. LyMe - The Trees (Wood Craft) (4:50)
51. Gomez - Tijuana Lady (7:08)
52. Silverchair - Too Much of Not Enough (4:45)
53. The Smashing Pumpkins - Try, Try, Try (5:09)
54. Sigur Ros - Untitled #8 (11:45)
55. The Smashing Pumpkins - Waiting (3:48)
56. S Club 7 - You (3:27)
57. My Chemical Romance - You Know What They Do To Guys (2:52)
58. Eddie Vedder - You've Got To Hide Your Love Away (2:10)

Democrats Healing Process

2005-04-06T11:42:00.000+08:00

Well, home bored home.

True, being here only left you subjected to worrying about in-house issues and whatnot. But -at the moment- I prefer to be stuck in Bote worrying about my assessments.

But I do hope this lingering doubt will wear off soon. There's so much I want to do. There's so much I need to do.

The trip back home had a handful of bumps along the way. Notably the MUET registration. Everything went fine untill Ms. Shanthie is nowhere to be found. Called her on her cell but to no avail. So we're crossing our fingers hoping that she'll cut us some slack.

Didi called as soon as we reached Sg. Buloh. The guys went bananas. Speaking of which, had supper with Zeid and Amir two nights ago. Being it's our last night together before the break, we talked a lot about so many things. The funny thing was, all this while, Zeid thought that me and Didi are actually together. Dumb dumb. He said, "Ye lah. Hang ngan Mimi nampak serasi apa. Bukan aku sorang je cakap camtu tau. Ramai yang cakap". Heh. Of course serasi maaa. Virgos unite.

I haven't even unpacked yet something's up. Pojam -Efry's buddy that helped bootleged RTWV- invited me to join his nameless, no rush-all fun band. I'll (possibly) be taking up bass duties. So far nothing's confirmed but we had talks over myspace. I like the 'no rush' idea. Planning on playing covers but we'll see what happens along the way.

Epol invited the whole batch to his sis' wedding on the 10th in Jempol. Epol, Jempol. Love rhymes with hideous car wreck. Heh. I'm (potentially) going.

I'm in love. But with who?

Endserenading

2005-04-02T23:36:00.000+08:00

As of now, I'm as empty as a vacant parking lot. This semester has seen itself ended as another winding chapter in my life's journal.

Oh, I keep on forgetting to tell you guys but I scored a relieving 93% for FAR's 2nd test. Looks like I have to tackle Dayah for the top spot in class next semester. I've been trailing behind her since Part 1. She kept improving every semester. Catching up is 'breath taking'. All in all, my total assesment for FAR is 24.56/30. Ok kot. What was more relieving is that I got a more-than-thankful assesment for AIS. 51.23/60. Technically, I've already pass the subject. I was generally happy eventhough among the guys, I ranked at the bottom 3, none of us got anything below 50 and the fact that amongst the 2 classes lectured by En. Razak, our overall assesment was better than the other class.

Speaking of AIS, the paper was quite a bumpy ride despite the 40% it offers. I'm pretty sure that my answer for the Capital Budgeting was a sad excuse to fill in the answer booklet so it will look 'lively', I'm even convinced that the FIFO formula I wrote was a language of another lifeform (What the hell is FIFO anyway? Three 'serves you right' cheers for me for not taking up Costing) and I kept praying the whole time that I won't make any mistakes beyond 25% or I'll be seeing an 'A' slipping from my hand again.

After it was over I accompanied Ijoy to the Treasurer's Office about the MUET notice. Will have to call Ibu for extra cash. I don't even have enough to go back home this Tuesday. As we parted ways, I took a bend to Uptown since it's (possibly) the last time I'll be seeing it in 3 months. I was surprised that almost half of the Part4s were there. Didi was there too. Initially I thought of hanging out for a while with her but then there was no room. The house was full. Got a buzz from Adam shortly about Rohal's PC gone crazy. Went back, took a peek, done. The' Enter' button on the keyboard was stuck so everything went flashing like mad. Three knocks was all it needed. So much for emergency. Got a 'blueekk!' from Didi afterwards for not 'bertegur sapa'. Sorry lor.

If everything's according to plan, I'll be crusing home this Tuesday with Adam, Zhaf, and Ikmal. Adam planned on a short escapade to Batu Ferringhi before heading home. But there's a high chance that won't happen. Me and Zhaf are completely cash-deprived.

I've to divide this holiday into 3 major things that I'm planning to do. It's quite a workout:

1. Work on my maths.
2. Win the whole "Shed The Kilo" thingamajigg.
3. Properly record Schizoprenia, Panggilan Rindu (Dan Awan Pun Menangis....) and Cempulan. I need to get them out of my system.

I have up 'till June before my schedule (potentially) goes out of hand since Ibu, Ayah, Aunt Su, Aunt Ani and Mah (Insya'allah) will be off performing umrah then. So my June will have 'babysitting' written all over it. Anyone's joining me? It ought to be fun.

The (Beginning Of A Lifelong) Downfall

2005-03-31T10:53:00.000+08:00

I'm tired of playing Mr. Nice Guy (wannabe). Whatever happened to character? Who killed the concept of earnest honesty? Honesty is the best policy my foot. It’s a big scam propaganda for people to shrug off the 'hypocrisy' tag they're born with. Everyone promotes being 'your own self' but no one's really keeping tabs on it. A very Malaysian thingy to do. Erect gargantuan skyscrapers and let them rot in the glorious Malaysia Boleh! fashion. It applies to everything it seems. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to harm/hurt/disrespect/demoralize others. I don't want to be prejudicial. I don't want to be unreasonably biased. I don't want to be skeptical.

I. Don't. Want.

You're granted a license to kill if I did something on that level of idiocy. Shoot to ill.

Another bummer of the decade (How My Enjoyable 3 Months Holiday Mood Is Screwed. Big Time):
Bumped into Pn. Azizah on my way here (the com lab). She has both news. Good and bad. The good news is, I'm assured that I passed my ECO paper. The bad(ly fucked-up) news is that it's not what the kind of result she expected from me. There's two possible conclusion: 1. She has insanely high hopes for me or, 2. I barely passed the bloody paper. There goes my already-low CGPA. I almost shed tears. What else could I do?

p/s: On an extremely lighter note, anyone up for a month-long, full-on futsal match/workout when I'm back? I need to beat Didi on the "Shed The Kilo" marathon that'll commence in less than a week. I hate jogs/walks/patterned runs. Besides, futsal is triple the sweat and fun. Burn baby, burn! Ring/text me anytime. 019-2517394. Much appreciated.

Drive: The Playlist Vol. 4 (Extended Edition)

2005-03-30T23:35:00.000+08:00

Okay folks. It's the 4th week since the commencement of my made-to-order MP3 player playlist dubbed, Drive. This week's a lil' bit special since Danial John's 'accidental' project with Paul Mac -the one they called I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! (ICBINR)- made it in the list courtesy of Kazaa. This is the project that sparked newfound avenues for both musicians that led to the conception of The Dissociatives. Honestly, I prefer ICBINR's brand of rock-meets-electronica exploits. Very raw in emotion yet very pristine in delivery. As promised, I'll feature the top 10 tracks that has been on heavy rotation for the whole 4 weeks. Enjoy.

Week 4:
1. Cursive - A Gentleman Caller (3:18)
2. Ash - A Life Less Ordinary (4:14)
3. The Velvet Teen - A Special Gift To You (4:56)
4. Ambulance Ltd - Anecdote (3:16)
5. The Observatory - Ask (5:12)
6. Death From Above 1979 - Black History Month (3:48)
7. Cursive - Bloody Murderer (2:52)
8. Faraquet - Carefully Planned (3:40)
9. Double Take - Champs (4:07)
10. Agnes Monica & Ahmad Dhani - Cinta Mati (4:13)
11. Plainsunset - Closure (5:43)
12. April - Continental Love (4:15)
13. Robi Rosa - Crash Push (3:33)
14. Travis - Dear Diary (2:57)
15. Silverchair - Emotion Sickness (6:00)
16. Slipknot - Eyeless (3:56)
17. The Cardigans - For What It's Worth (4:18)
18. The Dissociatives - Forever And A Day (4:49)
19. Rufus Wainwright - Go Or Go Ahead (6:38)
20. Jeff Buckley - Grace (5:21)
21. I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! - Home (6:46)
22. Seven Collar T-Shirt - In Hiding (Like A Child) (3:25)
23. My Vitriol - Infantile (3:49)
24. Force Vomit - Johnny Levitate (3:35)
25. Spacebar - KLC 2005 (6:53)
26. Too Phat - Lil' Fingaz (4:48)
27. Queens of The Stone Age - No One Knows (4:38)
28. Interpol - Obstacle 1 (4:11)
29. Butterfingers - Pacific (3:52)
30. Interpol - PDA (4:59)
31. Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia (3:51)
32. O@G - Permysuri (3:41)
33. I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! - Rain (4:46)
34. Love Me Butch - Reconcile (3:48)
35. Faraquet - Sea Song (4:10)
36. Cursive - Sierra (3:25)
37. This Body Broken - Silent Movie (5:55)
38. Cursive - Sink To The Beat (4:13)
39. Cursive - Some Red Handed Sleight Of Hand (1:53)
40. Slipknot - Spit It Out (2:39)
41. I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! - Staging A Traffic Jam (6:30)
42. I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! - Take Her Out (3:01)
43. Slipknot - Tattered & Torn (2:53)
44. The Verve - The Drugs Don't Work (5:05)
45. The Wreckers - The Good Kind (3:49)
46. Travis - The Last Train (3:16)
47. Marilyn Manson - The Love Song (3:18)
48. Faraquet - The Missing Piece (3:29)
49. Cursive - The Recluse (3:03)
50. Marilyn Manson - The Reflecting God (Live) (5:33)
51. I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! - Three (2:38)
52. Too Phat - Too Phat Baby (4:14)
53. Razorlight - Up All Night (4:03)
54. Return To Fall - Wedding March (6:58)
55. Seven Collar T-Shirt - What Went Wrong? (3:50)
56. Jason Mraz - Who Needs Shelter (3:12)
57. Rilo Kiley - With Arms Outstretched (3:42)
58. The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt.1 (4:38)
59. My Chemical Romance - You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison (2:52)
60. The Velvet Teen - Your Cell (5:24)

Schmaltzs Of The Month

1. A Gentleman Caller by Cursive
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

When I listened to The Recluse, I instantly fell in love with this band. Haunting melodies, monstrous hooks, infectious beats and neat cello progression. But with this song, it affirms my lifelong affair with Tim Kasher. What lyrics! What emotive voice!

2. Bloody Murderer by Cursive
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

Well, it's pretty darn obvious isn't it? No other band/artist has held me in adoration of their craft like they do. It's sounds out of place at first but that's what Cursive is all about. They punch you in the face the moment you let your guard down. Pardon the pun but, this is bloody murderous.

3. Cinta Mati by Agnes Monica & Ahmad Dhani
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

For me to fancy an Indo-Pop song, it's quite a workout to figure out. Let alone listening to it 'passionately' for a full month! This is the most melancholic Indon love song I've ever heard and it tugged my heart strings so precisely.

4. Go Or Go Ahead by Rufus Wainwright
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

Ever felt like giving up? This is the right dose of hope you'll ever need your whole life. Rufus bombast arrangement on this straight-forward pop ditty is so gripping you'll be begging for more. IMHO, it's his best work to date.

5. In Hiding (Like A Child) by Seven Collar T-Shirt
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

I was asked once by a friend, "What's your favourite track on Drones?". Even if I were given an eternity back then, I couldn't possibly tell him the answer. But now here's the answer my friend. Period.

6. Johnny Levitate by Force Vomit
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

Singapore's finest neo-pop yeh yeh boys. Being 'stubborn' never sounded so good.

7. Pemuja Rahasia by Sheila On 7
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

I have a somewhat a love-hate interest with this band. At times, the tunes they churn out is plain dumb and just simply an annoyance. But when the good stuff leaks out, it's as good as it's get. Most of the time, it gets better. Duta's rapping attempt is quite notable.

8. Reconcile by Love Me Butch
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

The most explosive single of the year by the most explosive band at the moment. Citing My Chemical Romance and The Used as influences this time around certainly causes some eyebrows to raise and some heads turn to this band's attention. The na na na na na na na part is totally unexpected but surprisingly fits like a glove. Killer.

9. Sierra by Cursive
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

Okay. I'll (try) make sure that this band will be out of the chart next month. But you'll get hooked on them again and again the more you listen to it!

10. Some Red Handed Sleight Of Hand by Cursive
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

Talk about concept album. This song's lyric tells it all. Short, simple and defintely spine-crushing. This is in-yer-face post-punk at its best.

Fumes In My Perfume

2005-03-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

Gila. FAR almost caused me a sudden cardiac arrest. The most dramatic final exam ever.

Condolences to the families of The Sumatra quake victims. I actually felt the remainings of the shockwave here in Bote. Allahuakbar.

Bad Doo Doo

2005-03-23T22:23:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing I regret about lately, it must be my decision to spend the examination gap at home.

I hate to admit the fact that I now acknowledge that I have a love-loathe relationship with my own 'comfort zone'. My own house. The place where fond memories are kept and treasured. The very same place I look forward to die in.

Is it still all that?

Changes are indeed, a good thing. But when it involves the things you knew by heart, matters get worse when you don't see the 'changes' coming. I've never, ever thaught in a gazillion years I'd be so sensitive to petty little adjustments in my pity witty life. But things do happen. Perhaps I need help. Perhaps.

This is getting crazy. The semester's over soon and I'l be spending the whole 3 months at home. Only a gust of hope whisked gently in my sails can make things better. Hopefully.

Pouring exact details is not a good call right now. Especially in a distorted mental state such as this. I need to save my sanity for the next 3 papers.

Drive: The Playlist Vol.3

2005-03-22T01:37:00.000+08:00

Siince I'm back at home, I got the chance to access my complete album/song collection. I was thinking of singing to the new stuffs I got over the past months. But guess what, my old stuffs kicks arse harder than anything else. Slipknot and Marilyn Manson made their debut on Drive this time around. I'd like to say that I am restrictively a fan of Slipknot only for their second, self-titled album. It's their one and only moment where everything they churned out is pure angst and extremely acceptable monstrous dosage of destructive sonic mannerism. Iowa and the latest one (it's so horibbly titled I care not to take notice) is beyond crappy. Ugghh. Anyways, thanks to Efry, a new band is slowly creeping into my list of favourites. Check out Electric Armada at Purevolume. If you're wondering, the only thing they have in common with Groove Armada is; highly-dancable grooves. So far I hear them as an earlier version of a much more accessible The Mars Volta. Good stuff. Another good news is that O@G is out with a new internet-only single, Permysuri. I'm surprised upon first listen. They're obviously still into the whole Brit-Rock thingie but this time they flash things from the other side of the spectrum. Minimal on instrumentation but unmistakably high on melodics and dynamics. A new, vintage O@G? I sure hope so.

So next week will be the 4th week since the 'inauguration' of Drive. It'll be a special edition where 10 tracks will be featured as Schmaltzs Of The Month. I'm so looking forward to it. This is getting fun-ner. Heh.

Week 3:
1. Slipknot - (SIC) (3:19)
2. Cursive - A Gentleman Caller (3:18)
3. The Velvet Teen - A Special Gift To You (4:56)
4. Kinky - Anorexic Freaks (3:40)
5. The Observatory - Ask (5:12)
6. The Cooper Temple Clause - Blind Pilots (4:02)
7. Cursive - Bloody Murderer (2:52)
8. Sparta - Breaking The Broken (3:47)
9. Agnes Monica & Ahmad Dhani - Cinta Mati (4:13)
10. Robi Rosa - Crash Push (3:33)
11. Electric Armada - Dead Stop At The Intersection (6:17)
12. Silverchair - Emotion Sickness (6:00)
13. Sybarite - Engaged (4:11)
14. Slipknot - Eyeless (3:56)
15. Rufus Wainwright - Go Or Go Ahead (6:38)
16. Jeff Buckley - Grace (5:21)
17. Seven Collar T-Shirt - In Hiding (Like A Child) (3:25)
18. My Vitriol - Infantile (3:49)
19. Force Vomit - Johnny Levitate (3:35)
20. Hole - Malibu (3:49)
21. Showbread - Mouth Like A Magazine (4:12)
22. Queens of The Stone Age - No One Knows (4:38)
23. Interpol - Obstacle 1 (4:11)
24. Butterfingers - Pacific (3:52)
25. Interpol - PDA (4:59)
26. Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia (3:51)
27. O@G - Permysuri (3:41)
28. Slipknot - Purity (4:14)
29. Love Me Butch - Reconcile (3:48)
30. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Renaldo Moon (2:33)
31. Travis - Re-Offender (3:48)
32. Marylin Manson - Rock Is Dead (3:10)
33. Call and Response - Rollerskate (3:52)
34. Electric Armada - Ruby Velvet (7:23)
35. Azharina - Seandainya (4:49)
36. Mando Diao - Sheepdog (3:34)
37. Cursive - Sierra (3:25)
38. Cursive - Sink To The Beat (4:13)
39. The Wallflowers - Sleepwalker (3:31)
40. Keane - Snowed Under (3:51)
41. Bloc Party - So Here We Are (3:52)
42. Cursive - Some Red Handed Sleight Of Hand (1:53)
43. Pretty Girls Make Graves - Speakers Push The Air (2:51)
44. Slipknot - Spit It Out (2:39)
45. Aqualung - Strange And Beautiful (I'll Put A Spell On You) (3:29)
46. Sarah Mclachlan - Stupid (3:20)
47. Slipknot - Tattered & Torn (2:53)
48. Electric Armada - The Baccalaureate (5:28)
49. Trembling Blue Stars - The Ghost Of An Unkissed Kiss (4:33)
50. Travis - The Last Train (3:16)
51. Electric Armada - The Latin Song (6:00)
52. Marilyn Manson - The Love Song (3:18)
53. Electric Armada - The Philadelphia Experiment (4:29)
54. Cursive - The Recluse (3:03)
55. Marilyn Manson - The Reflecting God (Live) (5:33)
56. Razorlight - Up All Night (4:03)
57. Alexisonfire - Waterwings (And the Other Pool Side Fashion Faux Pas) (2:41)
58. Seven Collar T-Shirt - What Went Wrong? (3:50)
59. Rilo Kiley - With Arms Outstretched (3:42)
60. Chronic Future - World Keeps Spinning (A Chronic Future) (3:23)
61. The Velvet Teen - Your Cell (5:24)

I wake, alone.

2005-03-21T12:38:00.000+08:00

Heh.

I'm here in front of my PC at home. I won't be long. Exam resumes on Thursday with BEL. Firstly, an apology to Didi. Didn't tell her I went back home. She texted me a couple of times. One of it is the long-missed, customary invite to the computer lab. I'm out of credit but I'll call you afterwards.

Well, ECO is not a good start to kick things off for this semester's finals. Zhaf seconded that too. I'm too wasted to elaborate so I'll leave things as it is.

Nothing to blurt out actually. Just a normal, idle update.

Laters.

The Letdown

2005-03-18T16:42:00.000+08:00

After many weeks, I've finally got the chance to see Yasmin Ahmad's Sepet last night. Okay, it revolves around two lovebirds, Orked (Sharifah Amani) and Jason/Ah Loong (Ng Choo Seong) in their 'instant-noodle' romance that prolonged (or was it over?) 'till they (possibly) tie the knot. I do have a somewhat high hopes for this movie since it’s the uncut VCD version and Yasmin is the kind of director that is mea culpa. Her work on Rabun was awe-inspiring. But it seems the hopes were dashed the moment the credits roll.

Apart from all the praises and awards this movie received, in my opinion, it's disappointingly; empty. Yasmin's idea of love-at-first-sight is way too awkward as it seems like it only took 2 seconds for Orked to fall in love with Jason/Ah Loong. The biggest flaw of the movie was that everything was too sudden. Rushed unnecessarily. Absolutely no room for character growth. I was beginning to think that the more I see the movie, the more it resembles an attempt to emulate Teck Tan's Spinning Gasing. If that seems the case, too bad, it's a complete failure then. If both were to be compared, Teck Tan has it all. Hands down.

There are a handful of comedic moments courtesy of Harith Iskandar, Ida Nerina and Adibah Noor. Thankfully it was not overdone, but executed sufficiently for comic relief. The movie's ending is the kind of ending that you would've seen in Sofia Coppola's Lost In Translation. Only difference is, you wouldn't appreciate being 'lost' as much as that. Amir said that there was a newspaper write out about why was the ending is such a wanker. Apparently, it has to be the way it is since that's the only way for the movie to make the final cut under LPFM's rusted, out-of-age censor knife.

This is much unexpected of me. Giving negative criticism to a local indie-cum-mainstream movie. I'm appalled as well that what I've seen last night was a bodywork of Yasmin Ahmad. I never though a director of her credible could be a letdown.

Hopefully her next movie won't be titled Buta.

Alhamdulillah

2005-03-17T18:37:00.000+08:00

We're 3 days away before the finals kick starts with ECO on Sunday afternoon. It's too soon. I'm not really up to it yet.

The supposed 3-days extra class was cut down to a typical two-hour session since Pn. Enny's kid caught a fever or something of the like. But I have a handful of good news.

She gave back our result for the quiz we did on Sinking Fund. Only 3 out of 12 guys scored 100%. Me included. I was pleased but also felt weird. Attaining a 100% for any written or oral test for that matter at this level is something I claim as 'abnormal'. So for once there, I was a weirdo to myself. After class Shafa told me that when she went to see Pn. Azizah, she has nothing but praises for me based on my recent ECO Test 2 result. Again, I felt weird. But deep down, I was grateful that my 'unexpected comeback' didn't go unnoticed. I didn't think bouncing back from 10.5/60 to a whopping 48.5/60 was possible at my current state. But I did just that. I can't rest on my laurel wreath just yet as I only got 28/40 for my assessment. Still a huge boulder to topple over if I'm targeting anything beyond B+. My assessment for BEL provided relief since I was the only one from the two classes En. Noruddin lectures that scored above
50. 52.4/60 to be precise. It was quite off-target if compared with previous semesters where the margin from the perfect pitch is only 1 or 2. I got the most points for the 1st assignment (Business Presentation) with 17.4/20, again with the 2nd assignment sharing 17.5/20 (Telephone Conversation) with Razi, and again topping the class for the 3rd assignment (Workplace Role-Play) with all the guys at 17.5/20. I do hope that both my AIS and FAR assessment will be singing the same tune. Should be out by next week.

-Happy 45th Ibu!!-

My only intention of telling all of this is so I could share this 'unforeseen joy' with you. Who would've thought an ex-dropout would do decently? Certainly not me. Can't be sloppy just yet. There's a lot of 'bouncing back' to do.

I'm missing someone. So much. Don't beg me to pray tell.

Not yet.

Drive: The Playlist Vol.2

2005-03-15T16:33:00.000+08:00

This is Drive: Week 2, everyone. Check out The Velvet Teen. They're awesome. A hit-list chart will be coming soon.

Week 2:
1. Cursive - A Gentleman Caller (3:18)
2. The Velvet Teen - A Special Gift To You (4:56)
3. ....And You Will Know Us From The Trail Of Dead - Another Morning Stoner (4:33)
4. Head Automatica - Beating Heart Baby (3:23)
5. Cursive - Bloody Murderer (2:52)
6. Agnes Monica feat. Ahmad Dhani - Cinta Mata (4:09)
7. The Velvet Teen - Counting Backwards (4:13)
8. Travis - Dear Diary (2:57)
9. Razorlight - Don't Go Back to Dalston (2:59)
10. Damn Dirty Apes - Dream (4:51)
11. Travis - Flowers In The Window (3:41)
12. The Cardigans - For What It's Worth (4:18)
13. Elbow - Fugitive Motel (5:50)
14. Rufus Wainwright - Go Or Go Ahead (6:38)
15. Mono - Halcyon (Beatiful Days) (8:09)
16. Butterfingers - Hanyut (7:01)
17. Denali - Hold Your Breath (2:57)
18. Zwan - Honestly (3:45)
19. The Dissociatives - Horror With Eyeballs (4:45)
20. Eels - I Need Some Sleep (2:27)
21. Seven Collar T-Shirt - In Hiding (Like A Child) (3:25)
22. Too Phat - Jezzebelle (4:28)
23. Force Vomit - Johnny Levitate (3:35)
24. Zwan - Lyric (3:17)
25. Muse - Micro Cuts (3:38)
26. The Velvet Teen - Milo 7 (5:38)
27. The Moffatts - Miss You Like Crazy (3:24)
28. Bill Murray - More Than This (1:32)
29. The Velvet Teen - Naked Girl (5:20)
30. The Velvet Teen - Never Happy (2:23)
31. Incubus - Nice To Know You (4:43)
32. Cake - No Phone (3:51)
33. Telebury - Overdrive (4:09)
34. Butterfingers - Pacific (3:52)
35. Silverchair - Paint Pastel Princess (4:33)
36. Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia (3:51)
37. Love Me Butch - Reconcile (3:48)
38. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Renaldo Moon (2:33)
39. Man Under Zero Effort - Revenge Of The Platypus (6:15)
40. The Velvet Teen - Reverie To Chanticleer (3:40)
41. Radiohead - Sail To The Moon (4:28)
42. Cursive - Sierra (3:25)
43. Mew - Snow Brigade (4:22)
44. Cursive - Some Red Handed Sleight Of Hand (1:53)
45. Razorlight - Stumble and Fall (3:05)
46. The Velvet Teen - Super Me (3:35)
47. Sarah McLachlan - Sweet Surrender (4:00)
48. Grandaddy - The Crystal Lake (5:00)
49. Travis - The Last Train (3:16)
50. The Velvet Teen - The Prize Fighter (5:41)
51. Cursive - The Recluse (3:03)
52. Phoenix - Too Young (3:19)
53. The Smashing Pumpkins - Try, Try, Try (5:09)
54. Razorlight - Up All Night (4:03)
55. Alexisonfire - Waterwings (And the Other Pool Side Fashion Faux Pas) (2:41)
56. Seven Collar T-Shirt - What Went Wrong? (3:50)
57. Clann Zú - Words For Snow (4:35)
58. Chronic Future - World Keeps Spinning (A Chronic Future) (3:58)
59. The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt.1 (4:38)
60. The Velvet Teen - Your Cell (5:24)

The Discreets Sleeps With Me Tonight

2005-03-14T17:28:00.000+08:00

This must be one of the most 'droning' moments of my life. It's 0722 hours. Just came back from breakfast. Haven’t slept since 1030 hours yesterday.

Yes, some might say 'Oh that is absofuckinglutely nothing' or 'Eleh, aku pernah dua hari tak tidor tau? Takde pun kecoh macam kau'. Hurrah! Hail you, show boaters! Bah. Everyone's someone else's weirdo.

By the time I'm done with Win A Date With Tad Hamilton it was already 0415 hours. Amazing. 7 hours earlier I was complaining of how slow time flies by. Okay, fine. Point taken.

Since I wasn't sleepy, I thought, what the heck? Another DVD would do. The only thing that was left unseen was Winona Ryder's Lost Souls: Deliver Us From Evil. It's The Exorcist-meets-End Of Days kinda. Girl was formerly exorcised, head priest went through psychological shock, girl's left alone to do all the dirty work, found Satan's un-baptized human 'container', both got traumatic, girl kills the 'container', end. The only plus point is that somewhere along the movie the 'container' played Gomez's Tijuana Lady on his stereo. But bottom line: A-grade stinker.

By the time the 'stench' subsided, it was 0545 hours. 13 hours earlier Adam installed the much-loved Diablo II much to my enjoyment. Since I was still stuck in Chapter I, I thought, what the heck? Finish it up by 0630 hours. At 0615 hours, I was still bludgeoning Yetis and Fallen Demons just so I could get to the 5th last dungeon. Not good. Resume later.

Fast forward to breakfast, for the 1st time ever, I was the 1st to 'officiate' the dining hall for the day. Meg was there as well. Ah, a familiar face. Oh, and there was this lot of......*yawn*......*astaghfirullahalazim*......

Ooops.

So that was it.

Writing's my sleeping pill.

And I thought my newfound insomnia would win the upper hand.

Ah, yes. FAR is at 2030 hours. Looking forward to that. Night classes are always complimenting.

In Audacity

2005-03-11T04:26:00.000+08:00

When you are away from a familiar place for so long, the feeling of longing is obviously inevitable. But it's the intensity to which you are drawn to for being away for so long that's so overwhelming. It drains you. A whole lot. Not good.

Go, or go ahead....

Rufus made his point clear just with that haunting phrase. Actually, it's quite simple to dechipher the meaning behind it but I refuse to understand. I'm too scared. Insecurity is consuming me bit by bit.

There's no point in this. It's 3:30 in the a.m. All there is to do is to stare at the monitor and watch the blinking text margin spews out alphabets by alphabets. The clicking noise of this cracked keyboard is a perfect fractured melody to my unattentive ears. Moments like these always make you ponder of what is there for you to live for. What makes you wake up in the crack of dawn just so you can be early for class/work. What makes you endure all that traffic when you can easily avoid all that. What makes you........human.

It's 3:39 in the a.m. Still a first-rated loser when it comes to monologues. Hmm. So it took me 9 minutes to write approximately 5 lines with 6 sentences and 82 words. 9 minutes of unperturbed mind blankness. Is this a piece of crap to you? Is another man's (your) junk another man's (my) treasure? So when something is without reason, when something is pointless, it's deemed a total waste? But why are there some who find reasons, why are there some to prove points? Are they deemed as 'tools of total waste'? This argument of valid reason and existential points is itself, a testament of a total waste. In short, if you're reading this, you're officially; wasted.

This is getting schizophrenic. It's 3:50 in the a.m. It'll be 3:58 if I choose to count the number of lines, sentences and words that I wrote before hand. See, it's already 3:52 in the a.m. By now you've probably guess my current typing speed.

I need some sleep. This pseudo-insomniac is penetrating into harsh reality as each second passes. Bloody murderer.

Pixelated (Moved)

2005-03-09T15:23:00.000+08:00

I meant to post it here but it didn't turn out as expected. So feast your eyes here instead.

How's the SPM results, guys?

p/s: Won't be coming home after all. Pn. Enny decided to hold extra classes during study week for 3 days. Efry, if you're reading this, whenever you're in Subang, swing by and pass the Pesta Muda-Mudi footage to Farah. Muchos gracias amigo.

Drive: The Playlist Vol.1

2005-03-08T16:24:00.000+08:00

I think I'm going to keep on doing this. A sleazy alternative for Audioscrobbler.

This is my playlist of the week. Helps me ignore the fact that Perak's outskirts is a 'state of nothingness'.

Week 1:
1. Love Me Butch - 1000 Words (4:48)
2. Cursive - A Gentleman Caller (3:18)
3. The Smashing Pumpkins - Annie-Dog (3:38)
4. Gerhana Skacinta - Asmara (2:12)
5. Better Than Ezra - At The Stars (3:42)
6. Hot Hot Heat - Bandages (3:36)
7. Death From Above 1979 - Black History Month (3:48)
8. Cursive - Bloody Murderer (2:52)
9. George - Breaking It Slowly (4:02)
10. ....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - Caterwaul (4:52)
11. Agnes Monica (Duet With Ahmad Dhani)- Cinta Mata (4:09)
12. The Cardigans - Communication (4:28)
13. Butterfingers - Cuai (5:53)
14. Butterfingers - Daulat Tuanku (9:54)
15. Deftones - Deathblow (5:28)
16. No Doubt - Ex-Girlfriend (3:34)
17. The Cardigans - For What It's Worth (4:18)
18. The Dissociatives - Forever And A Day (4:49)
19. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Glory & Meaning (5:02)
20. Rufus Wainwright - Go Or Go Ahead (6:38)
21. Sgt. Weener Arms - Happiness Is A Concept (2:49)
22. Deftones - Hexagram (4:09)
23. Radiohead - I Will (2:24)
24. Kings Of Convenience - I'd Rather Dance With You (3:29)
25. My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay (I Promise) (3:06)
26. Seven Collar T-Shirt - In Hiding (Like A Child) (3:25)
27. Force Vomit - Johnny Levitate (3:35)
28. Gomez - Love Is Better Than A Warm Trombone (3:29)
29. The Blood Brothers - Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck (3:26)
30. Motion City Soundtrack - Mary Without Sound (3:00)
31. Blonde Redhead - Misery Is A Butterfly (5:06)
32. Kings Of Convenience - Misread (3:08)
33. Love Me Butch - Never Ending Tunnel (6:20)
34. Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia (3:51)
35. Ezlynn feat. Dato' M. Daud Kilau - Pening (4:08)
36. Elbow - Powder Blue (4:30)
37. Love Me Butch - Reconcile (3:48)
38. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Renaldo Moon (2:33)
39. Radiohead - Sail To The Moon (4:28)
40. Spring - Sampai Hati (5:17)
41. Radiohead - Scatterbrain (3:23)
42. Butterfingers - Selamat Tinggal Dunia (3:35)
43. Zwan - Settle Down (5:25)
44. Cursive - Sierra (3:25)
45. Force Vomit - Siti (3:44)
46. Cursive - Some Red Handed Sleight Of Hand (1:53)
47. Silverchair - Spawn Again (3:31)
48. Motion City Soundtrack - The Future Freaks Me Out (3:36)
49. Travis - The Last Train (3:16)
50. Love Me Butch - The Protector (3:46)
51. Cursive - The Radiator Hums (3:24)
52. The Smashing Pumpkins - The Tale Of Dusty And Pistol Pete (4:34)
53. Gerhana Skacinta - Thing Of The Past (6:03)
54. Double Take - Tidurlah Sayang (4:00)
55. George - Truth (3:46)
56. Alexisonfire - Waterwings (And the Other Pool Side Fashion Faux Pas) (2:41)
57. Seven Collar T-Shirt - What Went Wrong? (3:50)
58. Chronic Future - World Keeps Spinning (A Chronic Future) (3:58)
59. Radiohead - You (3:28)

Update (In A Minute)

2005-03-07T16:32:00.000+08:00

Good news for my BEL assessment: Our group scored 17.5 for the Role-Play assignment. The highest in class. Props to everyone.

This week's gonna be hell. FAR quiz tomorrow, ECO test on Wednesday, AIS Excel theory test on Thursday and FAR test on Friday. Fuh. I can't fail my ECO again. Must score above 60% for FAR. Possibly going back home this week. Ibu says everyone misses me. Right.

Since the Naruto craze in campus has been put on hold for lack of new episodes, everyone is getting the eyes popped and ears bleed to Full Metal Alchemist. So far, it's quite good.

-Happy 20th Nad-

SPM result is expected to be out this week. Good luck everyone.

My Hard Rock Escapade: How It Didn't Happen

2005-03-04T11:00:00.000+08:00

I was all set.

With the handycam in my left hand and a fistful of vengeance in my right.

I need to avenge my thirst for awesome live music.

The 2nd installment of last year's Pesta Malam Muda Mudi is scheduled in Hard Rock Cafe tomorrow. It is the perfect setting albeit the wallet-threatening RM25 cover charge. Hey, with SevenCollar T-Shirt, Love Me Butch, and KLPHQ on the bill, it should be more than that. And for everyone who saw KLPHQ on Latte last night, coughing up your cash for Hard Rock is a definite must.

After running through my budget, I'll be dead broke for 3 months straight. But I was willing to endure through all that.

"Okay class. Sabtu ni pukul 10 pagi kite ada extra class ye. Kamu semua jangan balik rumah pulak"

Thanks a lot, Pn. Enny. Thank you sooooo much.

Efry took the bad news much to his dismay. Sorry, bro. I need to get my pointers up there again. We shall meet again. I miss hanging out with you.

Hey, at least I won't be broke. That is a good thing right?

suckingwhitestars 2.0

2005-02-24T22:52:00.000+08:00

So? How's the new layout guys?

Thank her for everything. Dope.

Sierra

2005-02-23T22:23:00.000+08:00

We're all a bunch of sadists. Really.

Not that I've only realized it recently, but I wasn't convinced about it at first. But a few weeks back on a late, breezy Friday afternoon thought me that it was after all; a fluke of reality.

I was in Uptown with Didi and Meg when suddenly I felt something 'rubbing' against my back. It was Nad. She and Lindot can't bare missing the finale of your-typical-daily-fix-of-Filipino-soap-operas, Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas since one of the cafe is Astro-equipped. Hey, I've nothing against the show for I am -admittedly- a fan of soap operas too. Within minutes, the whole area was (almost) packed with fresh-after-class chicks just so they could see who would Ara/Gracie choose as her groom. Is it the hunk Leo? Or the baby-like innocent Christian? Oh! Ah! The drama!

But what I found out on that fated afternoon was no drama of any sort.

See, we're all fully aware of the sudden craze of SMS-based talent/reality show hitting our shores and the shores of others too. That system racks up monstrous amounts of profit overnight. Whoever came up with it is without doubt a shrewd business strategist. That's exactly what happened to Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas. The show's producers applied the system so the finale is pre-determined by the audience. They're letting the audience choose who's to be Ara's/Gracie's husband. It's almost the same concept that lead to the final conclusion of the Ponds ad we had not to long ago. Eventhough there's no handphones involved, ardent fans and future-scriptwriter hopefuls wrote their piece of mind and what was supposed to be a clever advertising scheme turned out to be a trendy, hip, 12-weeks mini-series christened as Table For Two.

Though the aforementioned system is ultra-profitable, it has a great potential of resulting in 'socially unethical' side-effects.

Since she's sooo into the show that it almost became a second religion, I asked Nad if she did participate in the whole SMS thingamajigg. Her reply said it all.

"Takde lah. I'm not that stupid"

...
...

Yeah, right.

Didi once told me that, What's worse than being talked about is not being talked about at all. I don't know how it is relevant but the way I see it in Nad's case, it's almost similar. In simple terms, she's relying on the stupidity of the SMS-voters purely for her own enjoyment. That alone, proved that she's far more foolish than the SMS-voters. At least they're getting their enjoyment on their own. Post-modern oppression? Highly likely.

Wait.

...
...

Me too.

I'm no better than anyone.

I am quite a (big) fan of the nation's #1 talent show, Akademi Fantasia. I've never voted. Never.

Need I say more?

We're all a bunch of sadists. Really. We are, really.