In Audacity

When you are away from a familiar place for so long, the feeling of longing is obviously inevitable. But it's the intensity to which you are drawn to for being away for so long that's so overwhelming. It drains you. A whole lot. Not good.

Go, or go ahead....

Rufus made his point clear just with that haunting phrase. Actually, it's quite simple to dechipher the meaning behind it but I refuse to understand. I'm too scared. Insecurity is consuming me bit by bit.

There's no point in this. It's 3:30 in the a.m. All there is to do is to stare at the monitor and watch the blinking text margin spews out alphabets by alphabets. The clicking noise of this cracked keyboard is a perfect fractured melody to my unattentive ears. Moments like these always make you ponder of what is there for you to live for. What makes you wake up in the crack of dawn just so you can be early for class/work. What makes you endure all that traffic when you can easily avoid all that. What makes you........human.

It's 3:39 in the a.m. Still a first-rated loser when it comes to monologues. Hmm. So it took me 9 minutes to write approximately 5 lines with 6 sentences and 82 words. 9 minutes of unperturbed mind blankness. Is this a piece of crap to you? Is another man's (your) junk another man's (my) treasure? So when something is without reason, when something is pointless, it's deemed a total waste? But why are there some who find reasons, why are there some to prove points? Are they deemed as 'tools of total waste'? This argument of valid reason and existential points is itself, a testament of a total waste. In short, if you're reading this, you're officially; wasted.

This is getting schizophrenic. It's 3:50 in the a.m. It'll be 3:58 if I choose to count the number of lines, sentences and words that I wrote before hand. See, it's already 3:52 in the a.m. By now you've probably guess my current typing speed.

I need some sleep. This pseudo-insomniac is penetrating into harsh reality as each second passes. Bloody murderer.