The (Beginning Of A Lifelong) Downfall

I'm tired of playing Mr. Nice Guy (wannabe). Whatever happened to character? Who killed the concept of earnest honesty? Honesty is the best policy my foot. It’s a big scam propaganda for people to shrug off the 'hypocrisy' tag they're born with. Everyone promotes being 'your own self' but no one's really keeping tabs on it. A very Malaysian thingy to do. Erect gargantuan skyscrapers and let them rot in the glorious Malaysia Boleh! fashion. It applies to everything it seems. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to harm/hurt/disrespect/demoralize others. I don't want to be prejudicial. I don't want to be unreasonably biased. I don't want to be skeptical.

I. Don't. Want.

You're granted a license to kill if I did something on that level of idiocy. Shoot to ill.

Another bummer of the decade (How My Enjoyable 3 Months Holiday Mood Is Screwed. Big Time):
Bumped into Pn. Azizah on my way here (the com lab). She has both news. Good and bad. The good news is, I'm assured that I passed my ECO paper. The bad(ly fucked-up) news is that it's not what the kind of result she expected from me. There's two possible conclusion: 1. She has insanely high hopes for me or, 2. I barely passed the bloody paper. There goes my already-low CGPA. I almost shed tears. What else could I do?

p/s: On an extremely lighter note, anyone up for a month-long, full-on futsal match/workout when I'm back? I need to beat Didi on the "Shed The Kilo" marathon that'll commence in less than a week. I hate jogs/walks/patterned runs. Besides, futsal is triple the sweat and fun. Burn baby, burn! Ring/text me anytime. 019-2517394. Much appreciated.

Drive: The Playlist Vol. 4 (Extended Edition)

Okay folks. It's the 4th week since the commencement of my made-to-order MP3 player playlist dubbed, Drive. This week's a lil' bit special since Danial John's 'accidental' project with Paul Mac -the one they called I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! (ICBINR)- made it in the list courtesy of Kazaa. This is the project that sparked newfound avenues for both musicians that led to the conception of The Dissociatives. Honestly, I prefer ICBINR's brand of rock-meets-electronica exploits. Very raw in emotion yet very pristine in delivery. As promised, I'll feature the top 10 tracks that has been on heavy rotation for the whole 4 weeks. Enjoy.


Week 4:
1. Cursive - A Gentleman Caller (3:18)
2. Ash - A Life Less Ordinary (4:14)
3. The Velvet Teen - A Special Gift To You (4:56)
4. Ambulance Ltd - Anecdote (3:16)
5. The Observatory - Ask (5:12)
6. Death From Above 1979 - Black History Month (3:48)
7. Cursive - Bloody Murderer (2:52)
8. Faraquet - Carefully Planned (3:40)
9. Double Take - Champs (4:07)
10. Agnes Monica & Ahmad Dhani - Cinta Mati (4:13)
11. Plainsunset - Closure (5:43)
12. April - Continental Love (4:15)
13. Robi Rosa - Crash Push (3:33)
14. Travis - Dear Diary (2:57)
15. Silverchair - Emotion Sickness (6:00)
16. Slipknot - Eyeless (3:56)
17. The Cardigans - For What It's Worth (4:18)
18. The Dissociatives - Forever And A Day (4:49)
19. Rufus Wainwright - Go Or Go Ahead (6:38)
20. Jeff Buckley - Grace (5:21)
21. I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! - Home (6:46)
22. Seven Collar T-Shirt - In Hiding (Like A Child) (3:25)
23. My Vitriol - Infantile (3:49)
24. Force Vomit - Johnny Levitate (3:35)
25. Spacebar - KLC 2005 (6:53)
26. Too Phat - Lil' Fingaz (4:48)
27. Queens of The Stone Age - No One Knows (4:38)
28. Interpol - Obstacle 1 (4:11)
29. Butterfingers - Pacific (3:52)
30. Interpol - PDA (4:59)
31. Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia (3:51)
32. O@G - Permysuri (3:41)
33. I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! - Rain (4:46)
34. Love Me Butch - Reconcile (3:48)
35. Faraquet - Sea Song (4:10)
36. Cursive - Sierra (3:25)
37. This Body Broken - Silent Movie (5:55)
38. Cursive - Sink To The Beat (4:13)
39. Cursive - Some Red Handed Sleight Of Hand (1:53)
40. Slipknot - Spit It Out (2:39)
41. I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! - Staging A Traffic Jam (6:30)
42. I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! - Take Her Out (3:01)
43. Slipknot - Tattered & Torn (2:53)
44. The Verve - The Drugs Don't Work (5:05)
45. The Wreckers - The Good Kind (3:49)
46. Travis - The Last Train (3:16)
47. Marilyn Manson - The Love Song (3:18)
48. Faraquet - The Missing Piece (3:29)
49. Cursive - The Recluse (3:03)
50. Marilyn Manson - The Reflecting God (Live) (5:33)
51. I Can't Believe It's Not Rock! - Three (2:38)
52. Too Phat - Too Phat Baby (4:14)
53. Razorlight - Up All Night (4:03)
54. Return To Fall - Wedding March (6:58)
55. Seven Collar T-Shirt - What Went Wrong? (3:50)
56. Jason Mraz - Who Needs Shelter (3:12)
57. Rilo Kiley - With Arms Outstretched (3:42)
58. The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt.1 (4:38)
59. My Chemical Romance - You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison (2:52)
60. The Velvet Teen - Your Cell (5:24)

Schmaltzs Of The Month

1. A Gentleman Caller by Cursive
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

When I listened to The Recluse, I instantly fell in love with this band. Haunting melodies, monstrous hooks, infectious beats and neat cello progression. But with this song, it affirms my lifelong affair with Tim Kasher. What lyrics! What emotive voice!

2. Bloody Murderer by Cursive
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

Well, it's pretty darn obvious isn't it? No other band/artist has held me in adoration of their craft like they do. It's sounds out of place at first but that's what Cursive is all about. They punch you in the face the moment you let your guard down. Pardon the pun but, this is bloody murderous.

3. Cinta Mati by Agnes Monica & Ahmad Dhani
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

For me to fancy an Indo-Pop song, it's quite a workout to figure out. Let alone listening to it 'passionately' for a full month! This is the most melancholic Indon love song I've ever heard and it tugged my heart strings so precisely.

4. Go Or Go Ahead by Rufus Wainwright
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

Ever felt like giving up? This is the right dose of hope you'll ever need your whole life. Rufus bombast arrangement on this straight-forward pop ditty is so gripping you'll be begging for more. IMHO, it's his best work to date.

5. In Hiding (Like A Child) by Seven Collar T-Shirt
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

I was asked once by a friend, "What's your favourite track on Drones?". Even if I were given an eternity back then, I couldn't possibly tell him the answer. But now here's the answer my friend. Period.

6. Johnny Levitate by Force Vomit
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

Singapore's finest neo-pop yeh yeh boys. Being 'stubborn' never sounded so good.

7. Pemuja Rahasia by Sheila On 7
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

I have a somewhat a love-hate interest with this band. At times, the tunes they churn out is plain dumb and just simply an annoyance. But when the good stuff leaks out, it's as good as it's get. Most of the time, it gets better. Duta's rapping attempt is quite notable.

8. Reconcile by Love Me Butch
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

The most explosive single of the year by the most explosive band at the moment. Citing My Chemical Romance and The Used as influences this time around certainly causes some eyebrows to raise and some heads turn to this band's attention. The na na na na na na na part is totally unexpected but surprisingly fits like a glove. Killer.

9. Sierra by Cursive
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

Okay. I'll (try) make sure that this band will be out of the chart next month. But you'll get hooked on them again and again the more you listen to it!

10. Some Red Handed Sleight Of Hand by Cursive
Weeks on Drive: 1, 2, 3, 4

Talk about concept album. This song's lyric tells it all. Short, simple and defintely spine-crushing. This is in-yer-face post-punk at its best.

Fumes In My Perfume

Gila. FAR almost caused me a sudden cardiac arrest. The most dramatic final exam ever.

Condolences to the families of The Sumatra quake victims. I actually felt the remainings of the shockwave here in Bote. Allahuakbar.

Bad Doo Doo

If there's one thing I regret about lately, it must be my decision to spend the examination gap at home.

I hate to admit the fact that I now acknowledge that I have a love-loathe relationship with my own 'comfort zone'. My own house. The place where fond memories are kept and treasured. The very same place I look forward to die in.

Is it still all that?

Changes are indeed, a good thing. But when it involves the things you knew by heart, matters get worse when you don't see the 'changes' coming. I've never, ever thaught in a gazillion years I'd be so sensitive to petty little adjustments in my pity witty life. But things do happen. Perhaps I need help. Perhaps.

This is getting crazy. The semester's over soon and I'l be spending the whole 3 months at home. Only a gust of hope whisked gently in my sails can make things better. Hopefully.

Pouring exact details is not a good call right now. Especially in a distorted mental state such as this. I need to save my sanity for the next 3 papers.

Drive: The Playlist Vol.3

Siince I'm back at home, I got the chance to access my complete album/song collection. I was thinking of singing to the new stuffs I got over the past months. But guess what, my old stuffs kicks arse harder than anything else. Slipknot and Marilyn Manson made their debut on Drive this time around. I'd like to say that I am restrictively a fan of Slipknot only for their second, self-titled album. It's their one and only moment where everything they churned out is pure angst and extremely acceptable monstrous dosage of destructive sonic mannerism. Iowa and the latest one (it's so horibbly titled I care not to take notice) is beyond crappy. Ugghh. Anyways, thanks to Efry, a new band is slowly creeping into my list of favourites. Check out Electric Armada at Purevolume. If you're wondering, the only thing they have in common with Groove Armada is; highly-dancable grooves. So far I hear them as an earlier version of a much more accessible The Mars Volta. Good stuff. Another good news is that O@G is out with a new internet-only single, Permysuri. I'm surprised upon first listen. They're obviously still into the whole Brit-Rock thingie but this time they flash things from the other side of the spectrum. Minimal on instrumentation but unmistakably high on melodics and dynamics. A new, vintage O@G? I sure hope so.

So next week will be the 4th week since the 'inauguration' of Drive. It'll be a special edition where 10 tracks will be featured as Schmaltzs Of The Month. I'm so looking forward to it. This is getting fun-ner. Heh.

Week 3:
1. Slipknot - (SIC) (3:19)
2. Cursive - A Gentleman Caller (3:18)
3. The Velvet Teen - A Special Gift To You (4:56)
4. Kinky - Anorexic Freaks (3:40)
5. The Observatory - Ask (5:12)
6. The Cooper Temple Clause - Blind Pilots (4:02)
7. Cursive - Bloody Murderer (2:52)
8. Sparta - Breaking The Broken (3:47)
9. Agnes Monica & Ahmad Dhani - Cinta Mati (4:13)
10. Robi Rosa - Crash Push (3:33)
11. Electric Armada - Dead Stop At The Intersection (6:17)
12. Silverchair - Emotion Sickness (6:00)
13. Sybarite - Engaged (4:11)
14. Slipknot - Eyeless (3:56)
15. Rufus Wainwright - Go Or Go Ahead (6:38)
16. Jeff Buckley - Grace (5:21)
17. Seven Collar T-Shirt - In Hiding (Like A Child) (3:25)
18. My Vitriol - Infantile (3:49)
19. Force Vomit - Johnny Levitate (3:35)
20. Hole - Malibu (3:49)
21. Showbread - Mouth Like A Magazine (4:12)
22. Queens of The Stone Age - No One Knows (4:38)
23. Interpol - Obstacle 1 (4:11)
24. Butterfingers - Pacific (3:52)
25. Interpol - PDA (4:59)
26. Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia (3:51)
27. O@G - Permysuri (3:41)
28. Slipknot - Purity (4:14)
29. Love Me Butch - Reconcile (3:48)
30. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Renaldo Moon (2:33)
31. Travis - Re-Offender (3:48)
32. Marylin Manson - Rock Is Dead (3:10)
33. Call and Response - Rollerskate (3:52)
34. Electric Armada - Ruby Velvet (7:23)
35. Azharina - Seandainya (4:49)
36. Mando Diao - Sheepdog (3:34)
37. Cursive - Sierra (3:25)
38. Cursive - Sink To The Beat (4:13)
39. The Wallflowers - Sleepwalker (3:31)
40. Keane - Snowed Under (3:51)
41. Bloc Party - So Here We Are (3:52)
42. Cursive - Some Red Handed Sleight Of Hand (1:53)
43. Pretty Girls Make Graves - Speakers Push The Air (2:51)
44. Slipknot - Spit It Out (2:39)
45. Aqualung - Strange And Beautiful (I'll Put A Spell On You) (3:29)
46. Sarah Mclachlan - Stupid (3:20)
47. Slipknot - Tattered & Torn (2:53)
48. Electric Armada - The Baccalaureate (5:28)
49. Trembling Blue Stars - The Ghost Of An Unkissed Kiss (4:33)
50. Travis - The Last Train (3:16)
51. Electric Armada - The Latin Song (6:00)
52. Marilyn Manson - The Love Song (3:18)
53. Electric Armada - The Philadelphia Experiment (4:29)
54. Cursive - The Recluse (3:03)
55. Marilyn Manson - The Reflecting God (Live) (5:33)
56. Razorlight - Up All Night (4:03)
57. Alexisonfire - Waterwings (And the Other Pool Side Fashion Faux Pas) (2:41)
58. Seven Collar T-Shirt - What Went Wrong? (3:50)
59. Rilo Kiley - With Arms Outstretched (3:42)
60. Chronic Future - World Keeps Spinning (A Chronic Future) (3:23)
61. The Velvet Teen - Your Cell (5:24)

I wake, alone.

Heh.

I'm here in front of my PC at home. I won't be long. Exam resumes on Thursday with BEL. Firstly, an apology to Didi. Didn't tell her I went back home. She texted me a couple of times. One of it is the long-missed, customary invite to the computer lab. I'm out of credit but I'll call you afterwards.

Well, ECO is not a good start to kick things off for this semester's finals. Zhaf seconded that too. I'm too wasted to elaborate so I'll leave things as it is.

Nothing to blurt out actually. Just a normal, idle update.

Laters.

The Letdown

After many weeks, I've finally got the chance to see Yasmin Ahmad's Sepet last night. Okay, it revolves around two lovebirds, Orked (Sharifah Amani) and Jason/Ah Loong (Ng Choo Seong) in their 'instant-noodle' romance that prolonged (or was it over?) 'till they (possibly) tie the knot. I do have a somewhat high hopes for this movie since it’s the uncut VCD version and Yasmin is the kind of director that is mea culpa. Her work on Rabun was awe-inspiring. But it seems the hopes were dashed the moment the credits roll.

Apart from all the praises and awards this movie received, in my opinion, it's disappointingly; empty. Yasmin's idea of love-at-first-sight is way too awkward as it seems like it only took 2 seconds for Orked to fall in love with Jason/Ah Loong. The biggest flaw of the movie was that everything was too sudden. Rushed unnecessarily. Absolutely no room for character growth. I was beginning to think that the more I see the movie, the more it resembles an attempt to emulate Teck Tan's Spinning Gasing. If that seems the case, too bad, it's a complete failure then. If both were to be compared, Teck Tan has it all. Hands down.

There are a handful of comedic moments courtesy of Harith Iskandar, Ida Nerina and Adibah Noor. Thankfully it was not overdone, but executed sufficiently for comic relief. The movie's ending is the kind of ending that you would've seen in Sofia Coppola's Lost In Translation. Only difference is, you wouldn't appreciate being 'lost' as much as that. Amir said that there was a newspaper write out about why was the ending is such a wanker. Apparently, it has to be the way it is since that's the only way for the movie to make the final cut under LPFM's rusted, out-of-age censor knife.

This is much unexpected of me. Giving negative criticism to a local indie-cum-mainstream movie. I'm appalled as well that what I've seen last night was a bodywork of Yasmin Ahmad. I never though a director of her credible could be a letdown.

Hopefully her next movie won't be titled Buta.

Alhamdulillah

We're 3 days away before the finals kick starts with ECO on Sunday afternoon. It's too soon. I'm not really up to it yet.

The supposed 3-days extra class was cut down to a typical two-hour session since Pn. Enny's kid caught a fever or something of the like. But I have a handful of good news.

She gave back our result for the quiz we did on Sinking Fund. Only 3 out of 12 guys scored 100%. Me included. I was pleased but also felt weird. Attaining a 100% for any written or oral test for that matter at this level is something I claim as 'abnormal'. So for once there, I was a weirdo to myself. After class Shafa told me that when she went to see Pn. Azizah, she has nothing but praises for me based on my recent ECO Test 2 result. Again, I felt weird. But deep down, I was grateful that my 'unexpected comeback' didn't go unnoticed. I didn't think bouncing back from 10.5/60 to a whopping 48.5/60 was possible at my current state. But I did just that. I can't rest on my laurel wreath just yet as I only got 28/40 for my assessment. Still a huge boulder to topple over if I'm targeting anything beyond B+. My assessment for BEL provided relief since I was the only one from the two classes En. Noruddin lectures that scored above
50. 52.4/60 to be precise. It was quite off-target if compared with previous semesters where the margin from the perfect pitch is only 1 or 2. I got the most points for the 1st assignment (Business Presentation) with 17.4/20, again with the 2nd assignment sharing 17.5/20 (Telephone Conversation) with Razi, and again topping the class for the 3rd assignment (Workplace Role-Play) with all the guys at 17.5/20. I do hope that both my AIS and FAR assessment will be singing the same tune. Should be out by next week.

-Happy 45th Ibu!!-

My only intention of telling all of this is so I could share this 'unforeseen joy' with you. Who would've thought an ex-dropout would do decently? Certainly not me. Can't be sloppy just yet. There's a lot of 'bouncing back' to do.

I'm missing someone. So much. Don't beg me to pray tell.

Not yet.

Drive: The Playlist Vol.2

This is Drive: Week 2, everyone. Check out The Velvet Teen. They're awesome. A hit-list chart will be coming soon.

Week 2:
1. Cursive - A Gentleman Caller (3:18)
2. The Velvet Teen - A Special Gift To You (4:56)
3. ....And You Will Know Us From The Trail Of Dead - Another Morning Stoner (4:33)
4. Head Automatica - Beating Heart Baby (3:23)
5. Cursive - Bloody Murderer (2:52)
6. Agnes Monica feat. Ahmad Dhani - Cinta Mata (4:09)
7. The Velvet Teen - Counting Backwards (4:13)
8. Travis - Dear Diary (2:57)
9. Razorlight - Don't Go Back to Dalston (2:59)
10. Damn Dirty Apes - Dream (4:51)
11. Travis - Flowers In The Window (3:41)
12. The Cardigans - For What It's Worth (4:18)
13. Elbow - Fugitive Motel (5:50)
14. Rufus Wainwright - Go Or Go Ahead (6:38)
15. Mono - Halcyon (Beatiful Days) (8:09)
16. Butterfingers - Hanyut (7:01)
17. Denali - Hold Your Breath (2:57)
18. Zwan - Honestly (3:45)
19. The Dissociatives - Horror With Eyeballs (4:45)
20. Eels - I Need Some Sleep (2:27)
21. Seven Collar T-Shirt - In Hiding (Like A Child) (3:25)
22. Too Phat - Jezzebelle (4:28)
23. Force Vomit - Johnny Levitate (3:35)
24. Zwan - Lyric (3:17)
25. Muse - Micro Cuts (3:38)
26. The Velvet Teen - Milo 7 (5:38)
27. The Moffatts - Miss You Like Crazy (3:24)
28. Bill Murray - More Than This (1:32)
29. The Velvet Teen - Naked Girl (5:20)
30. The Velvet Teen - Never Happy (2:23)
31. Incubus - Nice To Know You (4:43)
32. Cake - No Phone (3:51)
33. Telebury - Overdrive (4:09)
34. Butterfingers - Pacific (3:52)
35. Silverchair - Paint Pastel Princess (4:33)
36. Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia (3:51)
37. Love Me Butch - Reconcile (3:48)
38. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Renaldo Moon (2:33)
39. Man Under Zero Effort - Revenge Of The Platypus (6:15)
40. The Velvet Teen - Reverie To Chanticleer (3:40)
41. Radiohead - Sail To The Moon (4:28)
42. Cursive - Sierra (3:25)
43. Mew - Snow Brigade (4:22)
44. Cursive - Some Red Handed Sleight Of Hand (1:53)
45. Razorlight - Stumble and Fall (3:05)
46. The Velvet Teen - Super Me (3:35)
47. Sarah McLachlan - Sweet Surrender (4:00)
48. Grandaddy - The Crystal Lake (5:00)
49. Travis - The Last Train (3:16)
50. The Velvet Teen - The Prize Fighter (5:41)
51. Cursive - The Recluse (3:03)
52. Phoenix - Too Young (3:19)
53. The Smashing Pumpkins - Try, Try, Try (5:09)
54. Razorlight - Up All Night (4:03)
55. Alexisonfire - Waterwings (And the Other Pool Side Fashion Faux Pas) (2:41)
56. Seven Collar T-Shirt - What Went Wrong? (3:50)
57. Clann Zú - Words For Snow (4:35)
58. Chronic Future - World Keeps Spinning (A Chronic Future) (3:58)
59. The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt.1 (4:38)
60. The Velvet Teen - Your Cell (5:24)

The Discreets Sleeps With Me Tonight

This must be one of the most 'droning' moments of my life. It's 0722 hours. Just came back from breakfast. Haven’t slept since 1030 hours yesterday.

Yes, some might say 'Oh that is absofuckinglutely nothing' or 'Eleh, aku pernah dua hari tak tidor tau? Takde pun kecoh macam kau'. Hurrah! Hail you, show boaters! Bah. Everyone's someone else's weirdo.

By the time I'm done with Win A Date With Tad Hamilton it was already 0415 hours. Amazing. 7 hours earlier I was complaining of how slow time flies by. Okay, fine. Point taken.

Since I wasn't sleepy, I thought, what the heck? Another DVD would do. The only thing that was left unseen was Winona Ryder's Lost Souls: Deliver Us From Evil. It's The Exorcist-meets-End Of Days kinda. Girl was formerly exorcised, head priest went through psychological shock, girl's left alone to do all the dirty work, found Satan's un-baptized human 'container', both got traumatic, girl kills the 'container', end. The only plus point is that somewhere along the movie the 'container' played Gomez's Tijuana Lady on his stereo. But bottom line: A-grade stinker.

By the time the 'stench' subsided, it was 0545 hours. 13 hours earlier Adam installed the much-loved Diablo II much to my enjoyment. Since I was still stuck in Chapter I, I thought, what the heck? Finish it up by 0630 hours. At 0615 hours, I was still bludgeoning Yetis and Fallen Demons just so I could get to the 5th last dungeon. Not good. Resume later.

Fast forward to breakfast, for the 1st time ever, I was the 1st to 'officiate' the dining hall for the day. Meg was there as well. Ah, a familiar face. Oh, and there was this lot of......*yawn*......*astaghfirullahalazim*......

Ooops.

So that was it.

Writing's my sleeping pill.

And I thought my newfound insomnia would win the upper hand.

Ah, yes. FAR is at 2030 hours. Looking forward to that. Night classes are always complimenting.

In Audacity

When you are away from a familiar place for so long, the feeling of longing is obviously inevitable. But it's the intensity to which you are drawn to for being away for so long that's so overwhelming. It drains you. A whole lot. Not good.

Go, or go ahead....

Rufus made his point clear just with that haunting phrase. Actually, it's quite simple to dechipher the meaning behind it but I refuse to understand. I'm too scared. Insecurity is consuming me bit by bit.

There's no point in this. It's 3:30 in the a.m. All there is to do is to stare at the monitor and watch the blinking text margin spews out alphabets by alphabets. The clicking noise of this cracked keyboard is a perfect fractured melody to my unattentive ears. Moments like these always make you ponder of what is there for you to live for. What makes you wake up in the crack of dawn just so you can be early for class/work. What makes you endure all that traffic when you can easily avoid all that. What makes you........human.

It's 3:39 in the a.m. Still a first-rated loser when it comes to monologues. Hmm. So it took me 9 minutes to write approximately 5 lines with 6 sentences and 82 words. 9 minutes of unperturbed mind blankness. Is this a piece of crap to you? Is another man's (your) junk another man's (my) treasure? So when something is without reason, when something is pointless, it's deemed a total waste? But why are there some who find reasons, why are there some to prove points? Are they deemed as 'tools of total waste'? This argument of valid reason and existential points is itself, a testament of a total waste. In short, if you're reading this, you're officially; wasted.

This is getting schizophrenic. It's 3:50 in the a.m. It'll be 3:58 if I choose to count the number of lines, sentences and words that I wrote before hand. See, it's already 3:52 in the a.m. By now you've probably guess my current typing speed.

I need some sleep. This pseudo-insomniac is penetrating into harsh reality as each second passes. Bloody murderer.

Pixelated (Moved)

I meant to post it here but it didn't turn out as expected. So feast your eyes here instead.

How's the SPM results, guys?

p/s: Won't be coming home after all. Pn. Enny decided to hold extra classes during study week for 3 days. Efry, if you're reading this, whenever you're in Subang, swing by and pass the Pesta Muda-Mudi footage to Farah. Muchos gracias amigo.

Drive: The Playlist Vol.1

I think I'm going to keep on doing this. A sleazy alternative for Audioscrobbler.

This is my playlist of the week. Helps me ignore the fact that Perak's outskirts is a 'state of nothingness'.

Week 1:
1. Love Me Butch - 1000 Words (4:48)
2. Cursive - A Gentleman Caller (3:18)
3. The Smashing Pumpkins - Annie-Dog (3:38)
4. Gerhana Skacinta - Asmara (2:12)
5. Better Than Ezra - At The Stars (3:42)
6. Hot Hot Heat - Bandages (3:36)
7. Death From Above 1979 - Black History Month (3:48)
8. Cursive - Bloody Murderer (2:52)
9. George - Breaking It Slowly (4:02)
10. ....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - Caterwaul (4:52)
11. Agnes Monica (Duet With Ahmad Dhani)- Cinta Mata (4:09)
12. The Cardigans - Communication (4:28)
13. Butterfingers - Cuai (5:53)
14. Butterfingers - Daulat Tuanku (9:54)
15. Deftones - Deathblow (5:28)
16. No Doubt - Ex-Girlfriend (3:34)
17. The Cardigans - For What It's Worth (4:18)
18. The Dissociatives - Forever And A Day (4:49)
19. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Glory & Meaning (5:02)
20. Rufus Wainwright - Go Or Go Ahead (6:38)
21. Sgt. Weener Arms - Happiness Is A Concept (2:49)
22. Deftones - Hexagram (4:09)
23. Radiohead - I Will (2:24)
24. Kings Of Convenience - I'd Rather Dance With You (3:29)
25. My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay (I Promise) (3:06)
26. Seven Collar T-Shirt - In Hiding (Like A Child) (3:25)
27. Force Vomit - Johnny Levitate (3:35)
28. Gomez - Love Is Better Than A Warm Trombone (3:29)
29. The Blood Brothers - Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck (3:26)
30. Motion City Soundtrack - Mary Without Sound (3:00)
31. Blonde Redhead - Misery Is A Butterfly (5:06)
32. Kings Of Convenience - Misread (3:08)
33. Love Me Butch - Never Ending Tunnel (6:20)
34. Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahasia (3:51)
35. Ezlynn feat. Dato' M. Daud Kilau - Pening (4:08)
36. Elbow - Powder Blue (4:30)
37. Love Me Butch - Reconcile (3:48)
38. Seven Collar T-Shirt - Renaldo Moon (2:33)
39. Radiohead - Sail To The Moon (4:28)
40. Spring - Sampai Hati (5:17)
41. Radiohead - Scatterbrain (3:23)
42. Butterfingers - Selamat Tinggal Dunia (3:35)
43. Zwan - Settle Down (5:25)
44. Cursive - Sierra (3:25)
45. Force Vomit - Siti (3:44)
46. Cursive - Some Red Handed Sleight Of Hand (1:53)
47. Silverchair - Spawn Again (3:31)
48. Motion City Soundtrack - The Future Freaks Me Out (3:36)
49. Travis - The Last Train (3:16)
50. Love Me Butch - The Protector (3:46)
51. Cursive - The Radiator Hums (3:24)
52. The Smashing Pumpkins - The Tale Of Dusty And Pistol Pete (4:34)
53. Gerhana Skacinta - Thing Of The Past (6:03)
54. Double Take - Tidurlah Sayang (4:00)
55. George - Truth (3:46)
56. Alexisonfire - Waterwings (And the Other Pool Side Fashion Faux Pas) (2:41)
57. Seven Collar T-Shirt - What Went Wrong? (3:50)
58. Chronic Future - World Keeps Spinning (A Chronic Future) (3:58)
59. Radiohead - You (3:28)

Update (In A Minute)

Good news for my BEL assessment: Our group scored 17.5 for the Role-Play assignment. The highest in class. Props to everyone.

This week's gonna be hell. FAR quiz tomorrow, ECO test on Wednesday, AIS Excel theory test on Thursday and FAR test on Friday. Fuh. I can't fail my ECO again. Must score above 60% for FAR. Possibly going back home this week. Ibu says everyone misses me. Right.

Since the Naruto craze in campus has been put on hold for lack of new episodes, everyone is getting the eyes popped and ears bleed to Full Metal Alchemist. So far, it's quite good.

-Happy 20th Nad-

SPM result is expected to be out this week. Good luck everyone.

My Hard Rock Escapade: How It Didn't Happen

I was all set.

With the handycam in my left hand and a fistful of vengeance in my right.

I need to avenge my thirst for awesome live music.

The 2nd installment of last year's Pesta Malam Muda Mudi is scheduled in Hard Rock Cafe tomorrow. It is the perfect setting albeit the wallet-threatening RM25 cover charge. Hey, with SevenCollar T-Shirt, Love Me Butch, and KLPHQ on the bill, it should be more than that. And for everyone who saw KLPHQ on Latte last night, coughing up your cash for Hard Rock is a definite must.

After running through my budget, I'll be dead broke for 3 months straight. But I was willing to endure through all that.

"Okay class. Sabtu ni pukul 10 pagi kite ada extra class ye. Kamu semua jangan balik rumah pulak"

Thanks a lot, Pn. Enny. Thank you sooooo much.

Efry took the bad news much to his dismay. Sorry, bro. I need to get my pointers up there again. We shall meet again. I miss hanging out with you.

Hey, at least I won't be broke. That is a good thing right?