Hingga Ketemu Lagi Kiranya Ku Kembali Nanti.....

Huh. I'll sum it all up.
> Friday was a big charade. Hyper transformed into a revamped Gazebo. Girls with push-
ups were all around. I was alone.
> Followed Rainshower to Music Walk. They're of course playing the usual shitty
stuffs. I'm totally sick of it.
> Ayah bought an Ixus. Neat.
> Shopping malls should ban those roller-in-the-heal shoes. It's driving me nuts!
Subang Parade has become these kids's big roller ring. Another nifty innovation
gone awry...
> Thanks to fAdE (all the credit goes to Efry actually) the whole of USJ knows that
I'm off to London. There goes my street cred. Haha.
> I fucked-up my brains again I think. I can't 'feel'. I'm clinically numb. Yet again.
> Mimi's getting sick. Poor lil' spanker. If you're reading this, take care and get
bubbly soon now ya hear?!.
> I'll be off airborne in a few hours time. I'll blog in if I possibly could.

'Till then......Selamat Tinggal Kamar Gelita Ku...

Hey Spanker. Where art thou?

"If it makes you wonder how can a simple piece of wood be something so sacred, a jaunty tune been hailed as a work of genius, an innocent thought being regarded as a groundbreaking theory. No, that's not God's work. it's God's gift. We call it ART." That was my answer to Efry's inquiry. What is art. I'm not even sure if that is answer is relevant. So... Siti got accepted to UUM, doing Banking and Wanie to UTM Skudai. Doing Land Management. I'm extremely thrilled for the both of them. I think someone must've poked Siti's brain with a chopstick cos' she's been bugging me to give her drum lessons. me? drums? hoho. She got the wrong schmuck. I was 'stalked' by some amoi from Klang in ICQ last night. Speaking in typical ChinLay using 'aku' and 'kau'. Has it became stereotypical of her kind to be so devoted to that honey-lovin' bear? "I like to collect everything about Winnie The Pooh", "I love Winnie The Pooh do you love Winnie The Pooh?". Even had the nerve to ask me, "Kau ade makwe tak?". Sheesh. Get a life! God, I mean that was our debut chat session. What next? "Kau nak kawin lari dengan aku tak?" Geez. Imagination does runs wild. But when talking about mine, it's beyond any perception of running. Hoho. I was told that we'll be leaving for London at 9. Argghh! There goes my beauty slumber. Well I should'nt whine about it since I have the 'honour' to experience a 13-hour, non-stop, in-flight nap. Hoho. 13 bloody hours! That's like 2 & a 1/2 days of schooling. I'm an hour away from my weekly Friday prayer. Post-Friday prayer is always filled with nasi lemak with the boys at Hyper, kids in Daleima and Berkat hoo haa-ing each other, chiks everywhere strutting their stuff, and smitten pre-pubescant brats getting high on the latest video streaming of The Strokes new vid clip. Shit, I'm starving. Gonna fix myself a nice butter toast. Where's Mimi this morning?

Hail Porto! Am I wry, no?

HOOOAHHHHH...Porto has won the coveted silver cup. I was there to witness it. There? In front of the idiot box la. It's very likely for Mimi to bug me afterwards. I did mention that I'm not into footie that much. Ngahaha. Well she backed out early from our session last night, using a 'telor' claiming that she's 'capet' and I was left doing nothing but to watch the finals. Haha. No offence by that. I thought it was cute and funny the way she pronounced/spelled it wrongly. Seriously, I fancy Porto's play last night. They really did their homework on Monaco. But IMHO, only the first goal is worth mentioning. The other 2 was totally a result of amateurish performance by Monaco's frail defence. Efry lost the bet against AhFook. The cheapest wager I've heard. RM 2 per goal. Haha. Okay. I'm done playing pundit. Champions League Aftermath: I woke up at the sound of Zohor's azan. And a packet of nasi lemak is waiting for me downstairs. Lunch is also ready. Double Treat Thursday. Yay! Oh and last night I gave out a sneak peak of "Panggilan Rindu (Dan Awan Pun Menangis....)" under-construcion lyric to Shaela. She said I was being jiwang and a very good one at it. Haha. I hope that song turns out to be the way I wanted it to. There'll be 2 Battle Of The Bands coming up. And I could'nt possibly partake in either two. The dates are'nt in my favor. I thought that this holiday I could at least to something significant musically. Lady Luck was on holiday too I guess. Now I am confident that it is time to unleash myself on stage without ever
drawing back. I have the trust and loyalty from my friends regarding my musical visions. They're more than willing to share their skills and work with me. But often their lack of long-term commitment and my perfectionist self that has placed many of my excursions on hold. Haihhh... I guess I am better to work alone. Even if it will take me a forever or two.

Turbulent Tuesday

*This is actually written on Tuesday, May 25th 2004. But due to dial-up complications which has forbid me to post it at the aformentioned date, it has now appeared on the date that it is posted*

Well, Mimi commented on my post that I wake up earlier than 10 o'clock. Guess what Mimi, this time you're wrong! Haha. I woke up at 12 today. No, not that I'm feeling hungry. And definitely not because I have to pay a visit to the urinal fairy. Ibu called up. She was in Subang Parade. Asking what's for lunch. Being the deadpan brat that I am, my answer was 'anything as long as I won't complain about hungerness for the next 10 hours'. I did complain anyway. Luckily she bought some goreng pisang, Not just any goreng pisang, mind you. Azmi's Goreng Pisang. It's the latest craze in Taipan. I've never seen so many people queing up as if they're buying Siti Nurhaliza concert tickets. It started to rain again. Thank God. No more plant watering for me. Yay! These past few days I've been spending my wasted hours playing Winning 11. From a.m to p.m. Oh yeah. I chatted with Mawar last night. I was'nt expecting her to show up since she's been busy with assignments and her upcoming mid-term exam. We talk the usuals. The how-are-yous, the tengah-buat-per-skangs, the dah-makan-ke-belums. What flatters me is that, she's always the one that starts rambling about the dah-makan-ke-belums. How caring. Terharunye... No wonder she's already 'taken'. Haha. At the end of our session, she said that she's not fully satisfied about our last meeting. According to her the given time-frame was'nt sufficient enough. She'd really love to meet me again and chat more personally. Haha. The shock of the day comes from Oyin. She missed called me out of the blue. She replied later on with a message saying that she misses us a lot especially Razi. Man, kudos to her for that. I'm amazed by her undying affection and rock-hard determination. Wonder if Mimi has something to do with that. Hmm.. And also mentioned that she has tons of things to tell me. What is there to talk about? What importance do I have to her advantage placing me at such position? Oh no, I'm not being paranoid am I? My session with Mimi was as delightful as usual. Except for the blog part. Make it the bare-all part. She may not expose everything about her but I did. No use of keeping secrets if you're posting blogs. Totally missing the whole point. Anyways, I read hers. Honestly speaking, I admire her writing style. That's what I'm sorta aiming for. Simple yet charmingly passionate. Kudos to her as well for her willingness to finally establish an intimate relationship. Lucky guy. Haha. Well, at least she's decided to move on. I on the other hand, forever stuck here without a stern reason or purpose. Living a dream. Living a lying dream. At least I'm happy whenever my friends or family are happy with their lives. I find solace in their state of joy and sorrow. I want them to know that I'll always be there to tolerate or to celebrate. I've planned to do some 'crazy' stuff during my upcoming London escapade. Firstly, bring along my recorded stuff and try to promote it in every possible way. Secondly, if there's an open-mic session in a pub or somewhere, I'll either get myself to see it or even better, be there as a performer! Thirdly, talk a pretty lass (if I ever find one) to have a picture taken with me. That'll be the greatest souvenir ever! Haha. My initial plan was actually to shop for as many cds/gadgets as possible with my given allowance. About 100 pounds. And also to buy something nice for Shaela, Mimi & Mawar. But come to think of it, I may only set foot there once in my lifetime. So I better go all gung-ho about it. As I am writing this, I've just finished watching the first portion of "Moulin Rouge". (That's VCD for you and me lah..) Judging by the first 20-30 minutes, I must say that it is the most-commercially viable, avant-garde musical ever translated into cinema. The music arrangements just blew me away! Who would've thought placing 'Lady Marmalade' and 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' side by side in a slutry-bombast setting would be a majestic idea? Such a sight seeing the Diamond Dogs howling to the classic Patti Labelle ditty while the drooling gents chanting "Here we are now, entertain us!" over and over again. Cobain must be kicking himself in the ass for writing that song. The cinematography? Woah.. A definite mind-boggler for me. Gotta get myself the DVD copy. That movie is so in my list of all-time favorites.

Oh no. Oh god. I am... (15 05 2004)

.... Being at the end of the rope can sometimes be frustratingly satisfying. For instance, i woke up this morning and guess what? i felt miserable. Very. But inside, i knew there's going to be a change. A change of/in what? I'm currently clueless. But somehow i can feel that i've 'moved on'. From what/where? again, i am clueless. But being clueless has never been so thoughtful. So introspective. I've seen too much of deceitness this week than i have in my entire temporary-existence. And i am at the end of the rope. The porcelain rope. Fragile yet so pure. Hmm. So, after 5 long awaited years, I met my long-lost, cute, lovely friend, Mawar. Fahmi's a lucky guy to have her as a steady. She snuck out of campus just so they could meet each other. Haha. Romantic innocence. We talked about those days of naiveness when we're just two innocent rascals who happens to share the same birthdate. Can't believe she still remembers the 'affair' that we had. Of course it was fictional. Our friends made it up. She's a great friend and i reckon she still is. I would'nt want her any other way. At least now that i've found her, i know that i have another shoulder to cry on, another smile and laughter to share my joy with, and another person for me to care for all of my life. There was a period of my life as an orphan that i really wanted to see her and talk about my emotional conflicts. But it never did happened. I'll look forward to this life-long friendship. I can't bear losing her again. Haha. I sounded pathetic did'nt i? Besides all that, my current worries is still with me being broke, having this annoying writer's block, thinking that i've wasted my life by doing nothing, and also being irresponsible sometimes. The writer's block that i'm having really annoys me a lot. I can't rock, i can't flick switches and turning knobs, my electronica stuffs sounds downward horrible, and i'm feeling like a shithead right now. Oh no. Oh god. I am...

limbo land, we have another visitor... (05 05 2004)

well, shit happens. and this time it has to happen to me. i accidently had a conversation wth abg. hisham. and that turn me into an 'o.k.' wreck. o.k. in terms of now i know the 'why' of my recent 'indiscretions' that turns me into the wreck that i am now. easily said: a kid would'nt know why he/she is sent to live wth his/her grandparents for life. and then his/her grandparents tell's him/her why. but what the kid can't understand is the 'reason' because only his/her parents knows it. and now that he/she is old enough, he/she sets a lifelong quest for his/her parents for the 'reason'. that's the case of me currently. but i'll put the 'quest' on hold. i still need to understand the 'why'. so another shocker that i had was izham's announcement to retire from music. it thrown me back a while. i mean, it's safe to say that besides hafeez, he's responsible for where i am right now. he's my competition. and somehow now i'm having a sudden writer's block. funny. maybe it's called a 'mourn'. he told me not to tell anyone but i did told efry about it. and he's in the same state of shock as i am. oh by the way, efry's doing great in MMU. got a swell dude as a roommate. hope he'll enjoy his first varsity year as much as i do. hmm...akim's having chicken pox. or measles. i dunno. but he's really sick n weak. pity him. hope he'll get better soon. my mp3 collection is 'alive'. it keeps on 'multiplying' everyday. but i'm very pleased wth my collection right now. it's very eclectic i might say. oh yeah, i bought Xing-Wu on the day that me n efry went out for a show. we met marsha and dora in some restaurant. they've just finished surfing. damn..missed it. oh and while i was listening to Xing-Wu in Fantasy, sha, one of efry's former colleague when he was at shakeys showed up. she's pretty. i've started exchanging mails wth Yin Pin, 1 half of Zai De which appeared on Xing-Wu. he replied wth utmost sincerity. i appreciate it a lot. okay, now the happy part of my 'wrecked' life. mimi. she has been a sweetheart. i enjoyed chatting wth her and i am pleased n flattered that she feels the same. coincidently, since we're both confused virgos, we have quite a lot of common and mutual interest. the funny thing is, the only thing that we're jealous about each other is food. and i seem to be winning most of the time. it's interesting to know that she does appreciate music n poetry just as same as i do. at least for the very least. now i'm chating wth her every single day. i'll look forward to this relationship back in bote. limbo land, i'll be staying here for a while.....

geez....(29 04 2004)

well here i am, writing again. i've been busy (or ignorant) these past few days. stocking up my lappie wth loads of mp3's, house's on major spring cleaning, watched starsky n hutch last two days, oh, i had fun. fun comes in form of two entities. mimi n shaela, again. i'm getting to know these two quite well. i have a lot of 'coincidentals' wth mimi. nice. we'll have a wide array of chat topic to choose from then. shaela's still her old lovely self. from what i discovered, she's very lady like. i respect that. oh, n mimi also told me about her little 'secret'. and i have to respect her reasons for that occurance. she's been down the whole week about trouble at work. understandable. girls tend to get into these conflicts easier in a man-dominated work field. glad that i could be her temporary 'anger manager'. but more likely a place to lepas geram la. last night mimi offered me to have a glimpse at her room. i couldnt refuse. it took a while coz the wifi thingy at her place is causing problems but it's worth the wait. even showed me her pink teddy n her bantal busuk. aiyoh. luckily u cant transmit smell through webcam. i guess last night was the longest time of chatting we've had. from 12 till 3 am. she' backed first. ngantok. shaela's having a headache so we ended earlier. but sempat plak write a few friendster testis for me. typical her. oh, i did my first album review on friendster's bulettin board. only had feedbacks from mimi n ham. mimi had overrated me by saying that i should do it in The Star. how in the world would an ameteur like me to compete wth Daryl Goh? haha. ham agrees wth me on the album's sheer display of brilliance. even enjoyed reading my review and encouraged me to write more as a practice to perfection. i've since considered giving out music reviews on the bulettin board from time to time. god help me. i've also started exchanging mails wth the crews from The Observatory. they're happy to be receiving a mail from M'sia. when asked about possible dates in K.L., they said it's in their agenda. can't wait. my, this blog is long. good golly.....

last night i was drowning...again tonight... (18 04 2004)

had a chat wth two girlfriends last night. mimi n shaela. talking to mimi so far has been a priviledge. i enjoy chatting wth her. we seem to have something in common since we're both virgos n it's nice to know that someone's aware of the 'modjo' attached to it. especially from a female. shaela has always been a great company. i enjoyed being friends wth her. but last night was different. she let me look at her through her webcam n must i say, she's lovely. i caught her smiling n she was shy about it. amusing. n flattering too as well. for the first time last night we had nothing to talk about. so, we ended up abruptly. hope next time will be more exciting. after all that, i was 'drowning'...tonight, i still have the same feeling. wthout the girls to chat wth. bought myself a new cd. 'The Hypercubes'. they're ok. i like the first few tracks. the 1st track is my favourite. dark ambient electronica. and it only costs me RM15. good music at the cheapest price possible. what more could u ask? hey, it even comes wth a free sticker. another accessory to 'beautify' my guitar. neat. it's black. nice. man...i need to get myself a reliable-special girlfriend...i'm going nuts...

Thanks...(16 04 2004)

well, .....actually i have nothing to say. today was the same 'ol, same 'ol. met old buddies, had a blast hanging out, recollecting the old days. got my paycheck. nice. wrote a new song today. very powerfull emotionally. you just can't deny the power of spontaniety. love the rush. thanks Khazim. 'relocated' my 'studio' about 2 metres away from the original place. have to shop for better recording equipments this weekend. sheesh. so much for having nothing to say......

Good golly..

Well, I've today decided to pursue for the familiar sound of the yesteryears with a few 'now' twists. I've been spending most of my musical life trying to find for that one sound that will 'hopefully' be embraced by my peers as something that is monumental. Sheesh...such dreams.. I'm only days away from completing my first triplet of 'ibunda-pop' songs. Maybe months or years. Judging by my perfectionism nature. First one that is expected to be completed is of course the 'darkest infant' in the triplet. "Panggilan Rindu (Dan Awan Pun Menangis....). I ought to contact Tessla's violinist for this one. I can't recall his name though. But I do recall his tounge-in-cheek humour. Never fails to make me laugh my head off. Those Tessla dudes are one stand-up comedy act. Amusing yet brilliant on their musical excursions. Good golly, I've only 6 days left to settle everything here before shooing off to London. This holiday's ending soon. And all I did these whole 3 months was just fooling around. I need more time to fool around! Haha. But so far this holiday has been amazing for me. Met some great people, bonded with old friends, experiencing immense workload, and simply, having the priviledge to wake up at 10 a.m everyday has been the greatest thing that has happened to me since i started studying overboard. Haha.

PooF!

uh...where am i? who the hell brought me here? there i was sipping my double shot sky turpentine on the rocks, killing time while extracting sonically enticing muses from a certain someone then suddenly *PooF!*. oh, darn it. i'm now a blogger....